In this age of hoarders and storage units dotting the landscape, who couldn’t use a cedar chest on Valentine’s Day? Cedar looks and smells better than particle board, and it can hold a lot of old Life magazines, the kind that have these ads.
Once your valentine has a place to store her personals, she can’t wait to tackle the housecleaning. An organized house is great, but a sparkling clean one is even better. Consider giving the gift of Sani-Flush.
It cleans incrustations! Find a way to use that word today, if you can. And if it’s not just the toilet bowl that reeks, consider Colgate to brush away the stench of her foul breath.
You may think a tube of toothpaste could be offensive, but any woman would delight in a reference to a deficiency in her personal hygiene. Still, if you want to go the extra mile, forget taking her to Fifty Shades of Gay. Women don’t like movies like that. What we really dig are inaugural films. This is sure to be right up her alley.
I can’t wait until the fourth inauguration comes out!
I Don't Get It 
Wow. Truly priceless ads. I have heard of Lane before. Weren’t Lane chests given as prizes on old TV programs? I know Sani-Flush is still around, how about Lane? On the ad regarding mouth stink what was the ad for?
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It was a Colgate toothpaste ad. I’ve never heard of Lane, but they are pretty chests. Probably heavy and cumbersome…
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First things first: Digging your new format. The biggest change I’ve seen yet. So sleek! Great ads–far more wordy (especially the first one) than anything you’d see today. Hilarious, the bad breath and toilet bowl. Don’t Ellen’s “friends” know it’s not nice to point fingers? Even with the magic of Sani-Flush, the toilet cleaner still doesn’t look very happy.
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That IS a lot of pointing fingers!
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Yes! My dream come true! Forget the flowers!! Forget the chocolates!!! Forget the fancy dinner!!!! I want toilet cleaner and toothpaste.
But seriously, I will the cedar chest though. 😀
Diana xo
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You know, you could put the flowers, chocolates, to-go dinner, cleaner, and toothpaste inside the chest, tucked away.
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Ellen’s bad breath disappeared once the Colgate dislodged the incrustations that had formed because of her callous years of using Crest. Once boyfriend Bobby caught one whiff, he ditched his plans of Sani-Flush for Valetine’s Day in favor of a large, luxurious Lane Hope Chest! Alas, the lad strained his hammies lugging the gift to her door, and was not able to take his sweet-mouthed lass out to holiday dinner.
Yes, Kerbey, the new Sela Theme sure is easy on the eyes. 🙂
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Mark gets an A+ for using all his vocabulary words in a contextually-appropriate paragraph!
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Teacher Kerbey ges an apple from student Mark!
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Great vintage ads!!!!
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Gracias.
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Ellen’s breath smelled like toilet encrustations. A quick gargle with Sani-Flush would have cured that.
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Yeah, as long as she didn’t swallow and instead just swished and spit, no harm done, eh?
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