Coolest. Wrapping. Paper. Ever.

ET010What you are witnessing surpasses the pairing of peanut butter and jelly, Jack and Diane, or even Tanqueray and Tonic. It is indeed a combination of the Extra-Terrestrial and the celebration of the Savior’s birth. My mind is too blown to continue. If you are unaware of the merits of wrapping paper, feel free to go back in time and check out:

Hold Steady

SoccerThis scene at yesterday’s soccer game got me thinking: Is an iPad really that convenient? Does it need to be that big? I have a video camera about the size of my hand, which surely would be less cumbersome. But it doesn’t have the internet on it. I imagine we will look back on this picture next week and laugh and laugh and laugh about how backward we were in days of yore, how foolish, how blind to the next big thing. The adolescent girl in the foreground appears to be praying for more forward-thinking technology. Twenty-five hours have passed since that game took place. Shouldn’t there be a new iPad out by now?  And another tomorrow and tomorrow? And isn’t that a brilliant way to teach the youth to never ever be satisfied with what they have and to ALWAYS be looking forward to greener pastures?

Even Purple Rain Would Be Nice

The sky has been the biggest tease for over a month now, growing cloudy each morning and late afternoon, sending ominous dark clouds to lord over me as I jog. I tempt fate by washing my car and watering the fig tree, since that’s usually a guarantee for precipitation, but to no avail. The most rain we get is three minutes tops, and usually just sprinkles, not the deadly downpours like Boulder, Colorado has seen this week. Short of doing a rain dance, I have no power over the weather. However, I did discover a place today that is a site for sore ears…

Ahhhh. I feel better already.

Always With Wings? NEVER With Wings.

Oh, sweetheart, what can be done about this? Even Jazz Hands, overdone blush, a Mardi Gras Reynolds Wrap sash, and a Newton-John headband cannot distract from what’s at hand here. Bless your heart.

And this one could have been easily prevented with a razor. Can this even be real?

Burt Reynolds ain't got nothin' on me.

Burt Reynolds ain’t got nothin’ on me.

Usually pleated pants are the worst part of a photo op, but not in this case:

pleatedAt least his trousers aren’t VINYL. What is up with that? Even the cat is struggling to break free from that anemic woman’s wardrobe choices. I’d rather don a cat collar than whatever that is around her neck. And who chose that poor man’s Big Bang background? It’s like a swirling cosmic soup where galaxies collide at the corner of Where Is His Belt and Please Button Your Cuffs. And let’s not forget the photographer, complicit in this atrocity, who allowed the female to wear her hair tucked behind those ears. What the what? I sure hope that kitty Rockette-highkicked its way out of that couple’s life.

I do not get it.

People Are Crazy

Yesterday we were driving on the highway (not a road, not a street–but a major United States highway), and we noticed that cars were slowing down in the right lane because they could not get around something. As we came up on it, I discovered it was a woman in a wheelchair–no, wait–not one, but TWO sets of wheels, so another person was behind her as well.  It was a TANDEM wheelchair outing, not on a sidewalk nor the shoulder of the road nor a bike lane (there were none), but on a highway, and ON TOP OF THAT, the man behind her was walking a black and white dog. Multitasking, if you will. And where were they going? Turns out, they took a right into the Sonic. Yes, and it wasn’t even Sonic Happy Hour, when tots and Route 44 limeades are half-price. I guess they thought they’d book it on over to the Sonic at twilight (death wish, much?) for a footlong Coney, while getting the dog exercise and holding up traffic. Really?

With Love From Tulia

Hornet57-002Floydelle Pannell, I hope you never married, because losing that maiden name would be tragic.

Hornet57-001“Oh, LaQuita, you will never KNOWWWW anything about my home, I”ll never know how good it feels to hold you…”

Hornet57-004Just chilling on drugstore stools, kicking back with 6 ounces of tap water.

Hornet57-006A quarter for a gallon of gas.  That’s all I have to say.

Hornet57-005Is Gaye blind, or is she holding a rake?  Either way, they’re all having a good chuckle.

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