Yellow Pages

LIFE030749-006
1949

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Guests, Like Fish, Begin To Smell After Three Days.

Youngstown Kitchens, 1949

*Quote by Ben Franklin

It’s an odd ad for the 40s indeed. On one hand, yes, get the mother-in-law out of the kitchen. Let Jim and Pam handle the dishes themselves. But on the other hand, don’t be so rough with Ruby that she loses footing in her swank heels.

Taken out of context, it would appear that the husband was spontaneously vogue-ing, a la 1990. 

But let’s not go there.

It’s Just Fun To Say

vintagraph.com

We ate quite literally high on the hog today because Labor Day and because BBQ and because America and because after watching over an hour of Senator McCain being eulogized, I felt deeply that it was what he would have wanted (RIP to a national hero).

The wall of our BBQ joint booth was covered with old fruit crate labels (gorgeous, bold color art that I find preferable to almost all modern art). Among the Frisco, Statue, Floyd’s, and Bellboy, was a Piggy Pears. I had to say it aloud.

What’s the pork-pear link? I don’t know. With that basket, it appears that Piggy just came from market. But we all know that in the nursery rhyme, “This little piggy went to market,” that doesn’t mean the piggy is going shopping. That means the piggy is going to BE the market, to BE sliced up at the deli, and eventually fried up and slid aside two sunny side ups. C’est la vie, no?

It bears repeating:

Piggy Pears

Piggy Pears

Piggy Pears

But don’t go overboard.

http://www.digitalcommonwealth.org

But Does It Gyrate?

You KNOW it gyrates. It’s Gyrafoam.

Today, we take up where yesterday we left off. Smack dab in the middle of 1925, when women had no social media and were slaves to their chores.

But they had options! Another washing machine was this one from Laun-Dry-Ette.

Ain’t nobody got time for bluing, especially when there are floors to clean with Fuller Brushes.

And when you’re done brushing, you can sit on your can like Iris. Here she is, hitting up her best friend on the line, but she does it in style. The ad may be for Sellers Kitchen Cabinets, but all I see is a fab-u-lous crescent moon hat and a bold lip.

Oreos were introduced in 1912, but evidently some folks chose to put health biscuits in their pie holes instead. I’m sure they were a HIT at a kid’s birthday party.

Tommy seems to be trying to drown out the voices in his head, or the loud protests against health biscuits. Please, God, not health biscuits!

Somebody get Iris on the phone. It’s an emergency!

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I Know What You Did In My Bathroom, Pearl

Good Housekeeping, March 1925

In the same magazine, you’ll find lovely Dix-Make dresses. No one makes dresses like Dix-Make.

If you’re not in the market for a flat-chested flapper dress, perchance you might like golden circlets of tropical goodness.

And try it on pizza, too!

Sick of cold water? Want hot water every place you can think of? Ask for Descriptive Folder #10.

And how about this? For the cost of my current water bill plus my cable bill, I could have bought an entire house in 1925.

But, Kerbey, you say–I’m not a baller; I’m too poor to pay attention. What could I afford? And to you, I say, how ’bout some clothesline?

It’s a cord to hang your sheets. It’s great until it rains, and then you have to hang it out to dry all over again. I remember because I had to do it in the 80s when all our neighbors had dryers, and my chore was to hang clothes on the line like I was a freaking pioneer. Thankfully, it only rains twice a year in Texas, so it’s not an issue now.

Come back on Hump Day for more fun ads from 1925!