It’s Just Me, Myself, & I

During these heady times, it’s hard to refrain from going stir crazy. But keep in mind that cabin fever is always better than lowgrade fever. Even the President said a hell-to-the-no when Birx mentioned her fever.

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In the words of Nirvana, stay away.

Running out of ideas for solo activities? Well, let’s take a cue from history.

You could make a pyramid, reminiscent of the wonder of the world. You will be self-isolating, so no one will see your Daisy Dukes or judge your ale intake.

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You could bundle up under the covers and read a good book, or just the Cliff’s Notes.

Catch up on the funnies in your paper.

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You could science up and create a vaccine.

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Or spend time with microfilm. How long has it been?

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Try tobacco! And maybe write the Great America Novel while you’re at it!

Lie on your bed (but first take your saddle oxfords off because the virus can stay on the soles of your shoes for days) and think about yesterday, when all your troubles seemed so far away.

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Pick up the telly and place a call to an elder relative whom you usually avoid because conversations with them are meandering and taxing and oppose your belief system.

If spring has sprung in your town, pack a sack lunch and head over to a nearby park, spray the entire bench with Lysol, sit down, and enjoy a snack, while hearing the mating calls of the doves.

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And if you are part of the unfortunate “essential” few who have to be in public, remember to wear your mask.

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Who’s Ready To Get Out Of Quarantine?

Western Hills High School 1978

Today we spotlight the students of WHHS in 1978. “Let us out! Let us out!” they shout to the hills.

Maybe you’re feeling like this girl right now. You can’t even.

Maybe you’re delirious with cabin fever, or you’re wearing the same shirt three days in a row, the one in desperate need of spot treatment with stain remover. Seriously, you need to Shout that out, girl.

No doubt about it, emotions are running high these days.

There might even be some name-calling going on.

But you can still make an effort to communicate with your spouse, maybe over a couple of Dr. Peppers.

Ladies, there’s no excuse not to don your “Foxy Lady” belt to entice him during quarantine.

Especially if he’s a super hunk.

And if he’s not feeling randy, you can always spend time with a good book.

Just remember: we’re in this together, and before long, we’ll all be hanging out again.

But for now, we’ll have to make do with drive-by waving.

Put Another Dime In The Jukebox, Baby

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I’ve played several jukebox songs at bars lately, and I only play from the “discount” list because I can’t in good conscience pay more than $1 per song, which is what the cheap rate is. Some folks even pay $2 so that they can get their song played NEXT, which I feel is incredibly poor manners. Whatever happened to first come, first serve? I guess the rich win that round.

Shirt You Hundo P Could Not Wear In High School In 2020

Back in 1978, this was seen as a clever tee, cute enough to make it into the yearbook. High schools would undoubtedly send this minor home in today’s #metoo era.

Even teachers were allowed to petition for partners.

You can’t wear that these days either. Turkeys would be offended.

This one would pass muster, despite its inaccuracy.

At least this one tells the truth.

This next shirt pairs beautifully with his thick, manly ‘stache.

Maybe the safest course to take is to simply don some school spirit (and a Dorothy Hamill haircut for his and hers).

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