Zach Galifianakis To Star In Grizzly Adams Reboot

Nat Geo 2/86

No, no, just kidding. Actually, that’s animal trainer Doug Sues sitting on the back of famous screen star, Bart the Bear, then a young 10-year-old weighing 1300 lbs. Bart lived to age 23, passing in the year 2000, from a battle with cancer. No telling how many times he kissed Doug right in the puss.

 

Vanna’s Younger Sister Hawks Sponge

There’s Valerie White, holding it up for all the free world to see.

And Vanna looks HORRified.

Can you blame her? Sponges are nasty, no matter what kind.

A scrub brush with fibers works fine.

 Or this.

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Supermodel Cyclops

October 87 Vogue

Back in 1987, Cindy Crawford may have been bronzed (and possibly narcoleptic), but she lacked the use her right eye.

Once her tan had faded, only her left eye was functional, and seems to have contracted a nasty case of pink eye, to boot.

Linda was the next victim of vision impairment, which may explain her shoddy yellow eye shadow application.

Christie’s left eye is hidden beneath this fetching safety pin hat. It might prove helpful if she needs emergency hemming.

Iman was only partially impaired by her curly strands. However, her poor lobes were taxed with cutlery. Nothing like the feel of prongs scraping against your collarbone to remind you that forks are the enemy of supermodels.

Nowadays, it’s important to have both eyes free of impediments so that you can properly text while driving. Eyes work better in tandem. Just ask this guy!

giphy twilight zone

 

Technically Still Just Two Scoops

photo by B. Anthony Stewart

This kid’s got the right idea, and I don’t mean the pantaloons. Two is better than one.

Bette Davis didn’t turn down two scoops, either.

Getty Images

Robert Plant went for three wee scoops. Perhaps they were accessories for his blouse.

Forrest Gump didn’t limit himself to one scoop because he knew it helps a body heal.

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Marilyn played a balancing game. This can only lead to tragedy and mayhem.

Everett Collection

Wait. I spoke too soon. THIS can only lead to tragedy and mayhem.