You Are A Rude, Thoughtless, Little Pig

by G. Heurlin

 

 

 

 

And

in

case

you

don’t

get

the

joke

….

 

https://usbacklash.org
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Vanna’s Younger Sister Hawks Sponge

There’s Valerie White, holding it up for all the free world to see.

And Vanna looks HORRified.

https://marriedheight.com

Can you blame her? Sponges are nasty, no matter what kind.

http://askahousecleaner.com

A scrub brush with fibers works fine.

 Or this.

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Supermodel Cyclops

October 87 Vogue

Back in 1987, Cindy Crawford may have been bronzed (and possibly narcoleptic), but she lacked the use her right eye.

Once her tan had faded, only her left eye was functional, and seems to have contracted a nasty case of pink eye, to boot.

Linda was the next victim of vision impairment, which may explain her shoddy yellow eye shadow application.

Christie’s left eye is hidden beneath this fetching safety pin hat. It might prove helpful if she needs emergency hemming.

Iman was only partially impaired by her curly strands. However, her poor lobes were taxed with cutlery. Nothing like the feel of prongs scraping against your collarbone to remind you that forks are the enemy of supermodels.

Nowadays, it’s important to have both eyes free of impediments so that you can properly text while driving. Eyes work better in tandem. Just ask this guy!

giphy twilight zone

 

Technically Still Just Two Scoops

photo by B. Anthony Stewart

This kid’s got the right idea, and I don’t mean the pantaloons. Two is better than one.

Bette Davis didn’t turn down two scoops, either.

Getty Images

Robert Plant went for three wee scoops. Perhaps they were accessories for his blouse.

https://johnrieber.com

Forrest Gump didn’t limit himself to one scoop because he knew it helps a body heal.

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Marilyn played a balancing game. This can only lead to tragedy and mayhem.

Everett Collection

Wait. I spoke too soon. THIS can only lead to tragedy and mayhem.

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Jill In ’87

By the fall of 1987, I was well-acquainted with the new supermodel faces across my fashion magazines: Cindy, Linda, Naomi, etc. As I had curly hair at the time, I could relate to Jill Goodacre, whose mane poured down her neck with all of the high-volume tousles that a headbanging 1987 demanded. I think you will understand why Harry Connick Jr married her.

And this next one, well … I can’t even explain it. And that’s why this blog is called “I Don’t Get It.”

Nowadays, the 55-year-old has her straightened (as most of us do) for a more polished, less unruly look. She and Harry have been married for 25 years.

You Know It’s You, Babe

Corbis-Bettmann, The Century

During the Roaring 20’s, no ball player beat the popularity of George Herman Ruth, Jr. Born in 1895 in the Pigtown section of Baltimore, Maryland, he reached his greatest fame as a slugging outfielder for the New York Yankees. That’s Babe in the boater hat.

And in case you need a refresher course on hats from 100 years ago, here ye be:

Pinterest

Note that there is a porkpie hat, and this post is about Babe (also a pig’s name), who was born in the Pigtown section. And also he was a bit of a porker.

Women of all ages adored him as well.

http://www.todayifoundout.com

Especially those in flapper hats.

Pinterest

He had many nicknames during his all-star years:

And he never forgot his fans.

http://www.oldsportscards.com