Month: October 2014

If Pink suddenly developed a Madonna-esque Material Girl fixation with Marilyn Monroe, rushed out to the closest Supercuts for a bad bleach job and an even worse perm, lamented her decision and (in lieu of shaving it all off a la Britney Spears) drank the regret away with Fireball Whisky, jumped aboard a casino boat and (while at the buffet) stole several of their fiesta-themed napkins and fashioned them into a bikini, then (like Natalie Wood) “fell” off the boat and wound up ashore at dawn with a beast of a hangover, briefly considered an alternate career as a driftwood artist, and decided that her first good decision of the day would be to seductively climb aboard a plywood crate, sucking in that tummy–it would look like this.