Zhuzh Up Your Outdated Banister

Tired of walking past those round wooden spindles pre-turn of this century? Ashamed to have guests notice that yellow brown color that dates your abode? I wouldn’t even want to visit a home with this shade of devil’s stain. Why, it’s the shade of nicotine teeth.


Sure, you could replace them with wrought iron balusters, but isn’t that trite? What you need is to get yourself a big honking coconut tree, get your best stabbing knife, and knotch it up at intervals as make-shift steps!

Nat Geo 11/33 by K. Koyama

So rustic! So tropical! Won’t your friends be jealous? Test their agility by testing whether rails were even necessary to make it upstairs or just holding them back. Granted, your own kids may miss bumping down a carpeted stairway in a laundry basket, or being able to carry anything at all, instead of having to carefully clutch the sides of a rough trunk to escape the monsoon. But practice makes perfect! And ladies, no more short skirts. Not on this coconut tree!

Worried you won’t be able to deck them out with Christmas festivity, as in days of yore?

The Spruce

Nonsense! Wrap that sucker up with some classic white LED lights. Just make sure not to step on them as you climb. Ouch!

Trip Advisor

Now that’s what I call sustainable living!

Little Trailer Court Christmas

LTillman Art

I’ve never lived in a trailer court or hauled a camper or driven inside a 50s car, or even seen more than three inches of snow in my life. So perhaps that’s the appeal here to me. It all looks so campy and fun! I may not ever build a real snowman before I get to heaven, so I’ll enjoy the pictures instead.

For the more refined sensibilities, you may prefer your holiday pooches in cardinal-dotted doorways of resplendent mansions.

Southern Living, Christmas at Home ’09

Reminds me of a certain Malt I’ve read about…

Or perhaps you prefer a chillier theme for a most chill dog.

Southern Living, Christmas at Home ’09

Whichever way you go, make sure you can tell the real ones from the fakes!


Saturday Santa Sightings

12-13-14 018Santa appears to be hanging by his fingertips beside this browning magnolia tree.

12-13-14 033Either reindeers are growing or Santa is shrinking.

12-13-14 030

With mistletoe on his cap, Santa goes in for a peck at Mrs. Claus.

12-13-14 026

One Santa drives an ice cream truck with peppermint candy wheels, while a Florida Santa shows his midriff without shame.

12-13-14 031But soon Santa must mount his sleigh and head to the homes of good little boys and girls. Twelve days and counting!



Not So Spooky In Daylight

October 001

Saturday afternoon, eighty degrees, not a cloud in the sky. But Halloween is in the air, and there are decorations to be found. Clap if you dare!

October 002

Witches seem whimsical.

October 004Except for the Snow White kind, with her chinny-chin-chin. Hey, y’all.

October 008This witch looks like she belongs with the Peanuts gang.

October 016

A pint-sized Dracula gave me a hankering for sugary cereal.

October 014

Count Chocula, anyone?


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