Zhuzh Up Your Outdated Banister

Tired of walking past those round wooden spindles pre-turn of this century? Ashamed to have guests notice that yellow brown color that dates your abode? I wouldn’t even want to visit a home with this shade of devil’s stain. Why, it’s the shade of nicotine teeth.


Sure, you could replace them with wrought iron balusters, but isn’t that trite? What you need is to get yourself a big honking coconut tree, get your best stabbing knife, and knotch it up at intervals as make-shift steps!

Nat Geo 11/33 by K. Koyama

So rustic! So tropical! Won’t your friends be jealous? Test their agility by testing whether rails were even necessary to make it upstairs or just holding them back. Granted, your own kids may miss bumping down a carpeted stairway in a laundry basket, or being able to carry anything at all, instead of having to carefully clutch the sides of a rough trunk to escape the monsoon. But practice makes perfect! And ladies, no more short skirts. Not on this coconut tree!

Worried you won’t be able to deck them out with Christmas festivity, as in days of yore?

The Spruce

Nonsense! Wrap that sucker up with some classic white LED lights. Just make sure not to step on them as you climb. Ouch!

Trip Advisor

Now that’s what I call sustainable living!

7 thoughts on “Zhuzh Up Your Outdated Banister”

    1. Wow. Just wow. Here I am, thinking I was treating myself to a non-alcoholic Malta Goya, enjoying the Christmas season, and you have to remind me of all that is being withheld from me, all that is good and true and noble and hoppy and high ABV. 😦 😦

      Liked by 1 person

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