I was blessed this morning to catch this little guy in our garage this morning, while my husband cleaned car mats with a new Home Depot extension brush (from a Father’s Day gift card, as we usually go to Lowe’s). I ran inside to grab my Nikon and was fortunate enough to catch him as he pumped himself up to let all the local females know with whom they’re dealing.
Need to spice up your crappy 2020? Get a coatimundi, aka the hog-nosed coon. Just stick a collar on him, secure a leash, take him to a dog park, and see what happens. It couldn’t be any worse than what’s already happened this year. Imagine the possibilities: you could contract coronavirus or pass it on to someone else standing near you. If they’re not wearing a mask, that’s on them. Don’t let anyone tell you he’s not welcome in their dog park. Who cares if he’s a safety risk? It’s not fair to keep him out. Parks should be more inclusive.
Maybe a dog there is a carrier! Maybe a Great Dane will try to mate him, and he will defend himself and tear that Dane to pieces. Uh-oh! Liability issues. Now the media is involved. Perhaps someone will be offended by the sight or smell of your coati and call the cops. Wait? The cops were defunded? Who’s answering 911 now? Who can they dispatch to?
He sure is cute, though. If you purchase one as a pet, just know that Purina won’t work for this guy. Make sure to provide fish and ants, as well as eggs and sugar. Coatis looove sugar. He was not made to eat a vegan diet, so don’t push your agenda on him. And don’t get angry if he comes at you like a spider monkey; it’s in his nature. He can’t transition into a chill sloth or a domestic cat. He’s stuck in the skin he was born in. Don’t try and forcefeed him Zoloft or Latuda or push meditation practices on him to quell his biting tendencies. Believe me, when he sinks his teeth into your skin, he is fully present. Fair warning: he may give in to his bandit ways, and like a coon, pillage your neighbor’s trashcan. Just make sure he doesn’t get caught or he may wind up shot and stuffed. Trespassing is against the law, after all.
If so, make lemonade from lemons, maybe a nice purse or gloves from his fur. But don’t tell PETA!! In fact, don’t tell anyone anything, because they may get offended.
Mint condition coot! Comes with cardigan, plaid pants, shined shoes, and pool rake!
Actually, Dr. George R. Starr, Jr wasn’t the coot; his coot decoys were. At this point, he had a collection of 1,000 decoys, mostly ducks, but some swans. Yep, he was so wild about them that he wrote a book in ’78 called How to Make Working Decoys. His son, Gary, continues the tradition at starrdecoys.com, if any of you should find yourselves in need of some fake ducks.
Although fellow WordPresser Penny’s Motivating Giraffe site has been defunct for exactly two years now, I thought today, Palm Sunday, would be a great day to share some of her images I have enjoyed over the years, which seem especially poignant today.
Y’all know I love proboscis monkeys.
Young ones and female ones have smaller noses.
But even a snub nose can frighten!
By the time a male reaches adulthood, he possesses quite the appendage.
It doesn’t slow him down.
In fact, scientists say that droopy snout actually is there to impress the ladies.
And to distract from stained, unseemly incisors.
Who could resist this alluring fellow?
Four cheerleaders and two bear trainers at Baylor University enjoy the afternoon with their mascot.
Okay, yes, that Mongolian is an eagle hunter. But he’s not eating the eagle; he’s using it to hunt. Deer hunters hunt and eat deer, but eagle hunters use the eagle prowess in a self-serving manner and consequently keep the eagle alive. They train the eagles to catch small animals such as foxes and hares, whose furry coats eagles can easily spot in the snow. Then the trainer eats them. You see? It’s all about the hierarchy of which animals we like. Is it okay to kill tuna to eat sandwiches? Absolutely. Is it okay if we accidentally kill a dolphin while we’re in the middle of murdering tuna? No way, Jose. It’s about which animals matter.
Obviously, in America, eagles are emblematic of our country. We do not train them, and instead use hawks in falconry. We do not touch them, or their nests, or their eggs, as this is prohibited in the Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act. Though the bald eagle was removed from the endangered species list in 2007, we continue to protect them as the symbol of our country. And we are certainly not alone in loving eagles. Mexico has a golden eagle on its flag, with a serpent in its talons, mid-murder. If that’s not badass, I don’t know what is.
And lest you think the mere association with eagles is not powerful, remember that The Eagles hold both the #1 and #3 spots of best-selling albums of all time (per http://www.mentalfloss.com). And that’s why we don’t stab eagles with steely knives.