Month: June 2018

Long Lost Joe Jackson & Holly Hunter Pic

Western Hills High School 1980

Okay, so it doesn’t look like Papa Joe Jackson (RIP), but it absolutely looks like Holly Hunter circa “Raising Arizona” (desperately in need of some sun). However, it’s just teachers chaperoning a high school dance. Thank God THIS teacher put on a happy face for the dance.

Do you remember those AWFUL cheap plastic cups? Yikes.

Take a look at the students. Do these look like the kind of kids that even NEED chaperoning?

Of course they do! Poor Midget…

You won’t find a pay phone in a high school these days.

I think this last one is my favorite.

What a sexy Travolta!

How Soulless Gingers Stay Cool In Summer

Silly ginger, don’t ruin your supper by eating dessert first!

The RCA Whirlpool fridge is so accessible, crafty gingers easily figure out how to eject ice at the touch of a button. And they’ll have plenty of time to do it, since they are excluded from many extra-curriculars.

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Such violence toward gingers! I don’t get it.

Never Ever Pour Your Beer This Way

Unless you like a frothy mouthful of head, do not pour your bottle into your glass this way. I watched a patron at a pizza parlor pour his pitcher (that’s a lot of p’s!) into his pint sans tilt, and he wound up with a pint o’ foam. Nasty. And he was well into his middle years, so he should have known better.

You Really Need To Get Your Schlitztogether

1957

And the award for best illustration of ale with squirrels, accordions, and ascots goes to…

Schlitz! Y’all, this ad did its job. It actually makes me wants Schlitz, despite the fact that I would never order a 4.6% ABV beer because that’s just wasting my time. My mouth tells me to rebuke the “Schlitzness” but my eyes say “Carry on, my wayward daughter.”

Seriously, tell me, doesn’t this look like more fun than a barrel of monkeys?

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

This kiddo wishes he were ANYWHERE but under the tree with these losers. Perhaps he’s upset because he received a Norma pencil.

At least these parents know how to make their daughter’s Christmas a bright one.

I’d think you could use that pram for a real baby, no?

But the best gift by far is always a car.  Especially if it’s a Cadillac.

I’ll Skip The Surf This Time And Go Straight To The Turf

National Geographic June 1967

Why so gross, National Geographic? Did you have to frame your pic this way? That fish looks dry and crusty. I wouldn’t even use the herbs, for fear of nasty contact contamination. Perhaps a brighter, fresher image would do, like this one of Anthony Bourdain among seafood fare that looks much more appetizing. RIP.

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