You Can’t Always Get What You Want

This kiddo wishes he were ANYWHERE but under the tree with these losers. Perhaps he’s upset because he received a Norma pencil.

At least these parents know how to make their daughter’s Christmas a bright one.

I’d think you could use that pram for a real baby, no?

But the best gift by far is always a car.  Especially if it’s a Cadillac.

Just Between Friends

Whether it’s a smile shared at a football game…

or a couple bottles of beer sipped over late afternoon conversation…

or a high school huddle…

or two pensioners out in fall weather, hunting for the perfect pumpkin…

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I’ll Skip The Surf This Time And Go Straight To The Turf

National Geographic June 1967

Why so gross, National Geographic? Did you have to frame your pic this way? That fish looks dry and crusty. I wouldn’t even use the herbs, for fear of nasty contact contamination. Perhaps a brighter, fresher image would do, like this one of Anthony Bourdain among seafood fare that looks much more appetizing. RIP.

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The Final Bell Rings

School is finally out today in central Texas, where we’ve already experienced 100 degree days and no rain in sight. In two months, school will resume, with seven weeks left of summer at that point. Who makes the rules around here?

But 60 years ago, 100 degree days were rare, and I’m told that school actually started in September. In June of 1958, LIFE profiled Hempstead High School in Long Island up until their last day of graduation.

The white graduation gowns give ladies angel wings.

Harry Greene said, “Band and football have been the big things in my life at Hempstead High. Nothing like a tuba for keeping your wind in trim for the Saturday game.” But did he play both on the field AND during halftime?

Of Helen Ignelzi, both the Spanish and French teacher, students said, “A typhoon in the classroom. She had a way of looking at you over the tops of those half-glasses, which kept you on your toes. And she was a fanatic on irregular verbs!”

These students enjoyed the fall weather while cheering on a Tigers touchdown.

At the annual Greek Games, these ladies made fine Athenian horses with their chariot.

On Old Clothes Day, students sported unfashionable outfits. Harriet Hills, on the right, said, “This is the last thing in sacks. They make an hourglass figure look like a Mason jar. I come from Kentucky and always wanted to be a hillbilly.”

And lastly, we have Richard Lane and Mary Lou Albright. Mary Lou declared, “Everyone has her favorite memory of Hempstead. Mine will always be the senior prom where I felt like Cinderella in my pumpkin dress.”

Well, that wraps it up for the 1958 graduating class, who would all be around 78 years old now. Never forget you’re a tiger!

Turns Out They Were Saying ‘Merica Back In ’58

This 1958 Ford ad isn’t cropped or split down the middle of a page. It actually says “Merica’s” instead of America. I’m assuming it was implied that the painter had painted it on the part of the billboard to which we aren’t privy. But as it stands, it’s pretty funny. And the rest of the ad itself was peppy and colorful.

Just In Case You Forgot Who The King Of Twills Was

It’s Stevens Twist Twill, lest ye forget. The red lion. And just in case you’re not familiar with twill, it’s a fabric with ridges. It’s the Ruffles of the material world.

http://www.gccworld.com

You know how people these days looooove to say how important it is to “start a dialog” about things? How necessary it is for them to “start the conversation”? It makes me want to wretch, that kind of speech. So let’s just have a chit-chat about these manufacturer names, shall we? First off: Jack Tar Togs, that’s brilliant. It sounds like the mascot for a little league team. Go, Jack Tar Togs!

Hit Em Hard seems aggressive, but the list includes many manly names like Big Dad and 5 Brother (forget 5 Sister) and Stur-Dee. Sounds super reliable, right? But then others are more vexing. Pool’s is “swetpruf”? What is that about? That’s not even phonetically-spelled.

ebay

It reminds me of Farmer Jack’s advertising ploy. But he does it on PURPOSE. Or purrpuss, shall I say?

And as for Tuf-Nut? Yikes. I’ll take your word for it.

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Mabel, If You’re Able, Black Label On The Table

1958

Note the M on Mabel’s daisy dress, a precursor to Laverne’s sweater L.

Though no longer widely distributed in the U.S., Black Label remains the official beer of Beer Frisbee, aka Beersbie–because that’s a thing.

In South Africa, they went in another direction, a decidedly non-Mabel direction. MANLY.

http://www.behance.net

Doesn’t it look HEAVY? That must be the 22 oz mug.

And in Australia, it was even weirder.

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