Smells Like Orville Redenbacher

At one of our favorite Mexican restaurants, the bathroom soap leaves something to be desired.  Each time I wash my hands before eating, the smell emanating from my fingers makes me not want to reach for the chips and salsa.  It’s like I need another soap to wash the smell of that one off.   I have never understood this concept.  Why would any eatery offer a soap that smells to high heaven, that reeks of Texaco restroom (which is the scent of cherry poop), that does everything to quell one’s hunger at a restaurant?  Isn’t the point to increase one’s appetite?  To that end, I have discovered this today.  I think this would do well to increase the sales of not only appetizers, but buttered popcorn Jelly Bellies at the Walgreen’s down the road, once one departs said restaurant.

If I’d just scrubbed with that, I’d be sniffing my knuckles right and left.  While we’re on the topic, I’ll share this trivia tidbit: El Senor Redenbacher died in his condo jacuzzi, after suffering a heart attack and subsequently drowning.  Did you know that?

So maybe popcorn’s not your bag, baby.  Perhaps you don’t want to smell like a cinema lobby.  Well, sophisticated gentleman, this might be for you.

Mmmm.  Forget Axe For Men; let me smell some merlot on his palms.  And BTW, I hate the UB40 song Red Red Wine.  I just feel like I need to put that out there, so that you know this pic is in no way an endorsement for such a wretched song, but more an endorsement of alcoholism.

And remember, The Mayo Clinic advises you to rub your hands vigorously for at least 20 seconds while washing, no matter how long the line of impatient patrons standing behind you.  If we all work together, we can fight germs and bacteria.