So You Think You Want A Boob Job?

tori spelling

What ARE those?  Isn’t Tori Spelling a millionaire several times over?  Can’t she afford a nice rack?  What was wrong with her old one?

And Victoria Beckham, it’s bad enough that your smile’s been broken for twenty years, but what sort of atrocity is this?  You look like the rough draft of Madame Tussaud’s wax version of Kate Gosling.

I mean, don’t these women have access to the BEST of the BEST?  What kind of botched job would I wind up with, if THEIR doctors are the best in their field?

Really, Jewel?  That’s not very bohemian and down to earth of you.  I thought you lived on a ranch with your cowboy husband; you don’t have to subscribe to the L.A. ideal.  Honestly.

Super Hero Hype & Celebrity Gossipshow
Super Hero Hype & Celebrity Gossipshow

Oh, Tara Reid.  I have no words.

My advice to starlets: don’t do it.  But if you must, you must increase your bust, go small, like Cameron Diaz.

You’ll thank yourself when you’re 55.

39 thoughts on “So You Think You Want A Boob Job?”

  1. I honestly think that Tara Reid’s boobs are not the problem in that photo! Though I couldn’t agree more, if one has all the money in the world why can’t they afford boobs that don’t look like they are filled with stuff… or blocks whose boobs are shaped that way? No one.


    1. Clearly, her tummy is unfixable and much worse than the boobs, although she had that nip slip and folks said that was all botched, but I haven’t googled that, so I’ll just remain ignorant. I really do feel sorry for her. She looked fine to begin with, like Heidi Montag. Hollywood jacks your brain up.


      1. It looks like she “fixed” the boob job with the nip slip problem (I might be wrong about that, but from what I remember they were EVERYWHERE and now they seem to be basically “normal”) Do you think her stomach is due to liposuction? Oh man nevermind… I found this

        Well, at the very least she looks better. Heidi is horrible, she was so pretty before and now she looks crazy plastic. Another person that screwed up her looks in Hollywood (there are so many), Megan Fox. She looks like an Angelina Jolie wannabe. The horrible things people do to “look good.”


      2. wow. more startling than that new striped (but better) tummy is the fact that she’s only 36 currently. ?? life has worn her down. i agree w/ the others you noted as well.


      3. That seems like the wrong number 36 and she looks so old. I feel like her face is the only youthful thing about her, she looks like she is on mad drugs… I remember thinking she was pretty in Van Wilder poor young really old looking woman.


  2. As another woman with big boobs I don’t get it. They are a pain in the neck and back, literally. I’ve often thought of getting a breast reduction. Nobody’s ever happy with what they have, they’ve always gotta change it.
    Ruth from At Home on the Road


  3. My man boobs are manly man boobs. All natural, now if only whoever bought hostess snack cakes could get those sinfully delightful sugary treats of temptation back into my nearest vending machine I can continue to work on them.


    1. And bad food won’t jack up the rest of your life…Speaking of bad surgery, each time I’ve gone to yahoo today, I see Melissa Gilbert’s weird lips staring at me since she just got married and is trending.


  4. I don’t understand the whole plastic surgery concept. Unless you were born deformed or in a car accident or fire, it’s just ego to me. And wow, life is short as it is — why hold yourself up for recovery time for an unnecessary operation? It makes no sense. Whenever my husband and I tune in to the old Lawrence Welk shows he always says, “Now that’s when women looked like women!” 😉


      1. I’m not a plastic and reconstructive surgeon or a cosmetic physician but if I had a patient who wanted implants that were too large and they didn’t have sufficient skin or if there was a problem with a modest sub-pectoral implant I would explain that in my opinion it would look very unnatural. You’re right, the treating medical practitioner should provide that kind of advice but I can’t speak for the entire medical profession. As you say, smaller is better when considering breast augmentation.


  5. Very interesting comments. I sure ain’t got nothing much to add. Except: A few women I’ve known have had full bosoms and they all agree on one point. Big boobs are a pain in the….back.


  6. Mine done went south for a lifetime, y’all. I’m not about the Michael-Jackson my chest for the reasons shown above. Thanks for the laugh, and the reminder as to why it’s not a good idea to silicone mother nature. 🙂


  7. Aww poor Tori!
    I honestly believe she has Pectus Excavatum. Even before getting her breasts done she had that funny middle area…I couldn’t imagine being her especially with how mean the internet is these days.

    Anyhow, to each their own.


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