Category: Advertising

Sales Of Spirits Soar But My Soul Longs Only For Thee

As Newsweek reported when this month began:

U.S. ALCOHOL SALES INCREASE 55 PERCENT IN ONE WEEK AMID CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC

Yes. I get that. I’ve had a few pints. But it’s not the pints I’m jonesing for.

What I want is Coke. A frosty Coke and then a refill of frosty Coke immediately afterward.

Both of their bottles.

1959 LIFE

Don’t I deserve to be “really refreshed?”

Coke is everywhere. It taunts me in the pages of my magazines and from the walls of the antique stores. Is that Jane Wyman? I don’t know. All I want is her Coke.

I don’t need two liters of Coke. That’s too big, and it loses carbonation the second you open it up.

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Then again, it can’t be too small.

Now this one is just right.

He’ll Be In Mexico Before You Count Ten

Child Life, 3/26

Chicago, Chicago, that toddlin’ town, that toddlin’ town … ♪♫♪ No wonder they were toddling! Rolling on rubber was like skating on clouds with Chicago roller skates. This ad hails from my March 1926 issue of Child Life. You can bet they had a WAY better March than we just did. What do you make of this lantern-bearing imp?

The stock market was years away from crashing, so Easter was going to be LIT. Who wouldn’t want kraft toys of bunnies and ducks that ROLLED, just like those boss Chicago skates?

Or this disturbing gender-ambiguous amputee? What fun!

Little boys evidently wore ties when they colored and crafted. Mother, look, I dressed like Papa!

But when coloring was done, it was time to pull out the old Lanky Tinker (Tom Tinker’s cousin).

WorthPoint

Baby, You Can Check My Tires

Is it me, or does that look like a frosty pint of ale, instead of motor oil?

1959

The attendants were so thoughtful, giving lollipops to youngsters! This was before kids were diabetic, when Mom wore pearls and heels to fill ‘er up.

Pinterest

And Dad wasn’t left in the dark. Roy could talk shop and spill the tea. He was worse than a gossiping hen.

Makes you want to travel on the wide, open road, don’t it, folks? Well, maybe in late May…

Choo Choo Chuesday

Today is Tuesday Travel day (but not for you or anyone else on this planet right now), and today’s mode of travel is TRAINS. My granddad loved trains, often joining the engineer up front, donning the requisite engineer cap. While most of his train schedules and pamphlets are normal map-sized (the kind we once bought at gas stations), none of today’s images are larger than your hand. Most measure only five inches tall.

The majority are from 1934-1935, but this one is about to hit the century mark.

Folks back then would have needed a good pair of glasses to read the small font to find a route and a fare to their destination.

Advertising air conditioning was very important.

Even if was glaringly racist.

It certainly sounds necessary, after reading about the “torrid, sooty blasts from open windows.”

The font and artwork are still eye-catching after all these years.

The luncheon options, however, would not fare so well today. Ox tongue? Prune whip? Prune cornbread? What on earth?

Perhaps you’d be better served by keeping your appetite until you hit the Fred Harvey counter at Union Station (where Harvey Girls served up lunch). Fred Harvey advertisements were ubiquitous on time cards.

Why, even Judy Garland was a Harvey Girl in the movies!

And she sang about the Atchison, Topeka and the Santa Fe, which were all train routes.

What about you all? Have you ever ridden a train? Did you get a cool time card? Where were you going?

 

Eye On The Prize

She’s not listening to a word about Ken’s board meeting. Why? Because Old Forester, that’s why. It’s not called Old Banker for a reason, Ken.

But Meg’s not the only with her eye on the prize.

Behold, Irish eyes are smiling. And why wouldn’t they be? It’s a lovely day to be outdoors in the piney woods, jaunty green hat askew, sporting a thick gold wedding band, smell of beef charring in the air. Somehow, there’s an endless tap of beer in the park. Keep it flowing.

Why? Because dextrins and maltose and B-complex vitamins, like your doctor said. It does a body good, and pairs well with burgers and horseshoes. Cheers to healthful values!

Chevro-Lay On Top Of Me Because That’s Normal

I guess I don’t get the artistic vision of this ad. To me, I see a car unable to simply cross a shallow stream, a driver who has abandoned his vehicle, and a half-naked woman pressed against the windshield, foot whimsically in the air, brick at her side.

Of course, that’s sexist. SHE could have very well been the driver when the LSD kicked in. She drove right into a creek. She took her clothes off. She got on top of the car to get a better view of the melting dancing hippos inside. But the brick? I don’t get it.

July 1959, Bel Air 2 door sedan

Welcoming Third Reich Touts Beautiful Country

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yep, it’s grandpa’s map time again. This time, it’s Germany! The last referenced date on it is ’33. Hitler has just become chancellor, he’s begun his purge of the civil service, professing national socialism. The Gestapo is born, and Germany is ripe for visitors!

It’s so hard to appreciate a large map online, especially one that has been folded since the 30s, with stiff, sharp creases. 

But you can get a taste of the fanciful and intricate illustrations. Here we see it referred to as the German Reich, though this is the first year of the rise of the Third Reich.

None of its citizens can know what the next few years will bring, or how their children will become indoctrinated.

Can you appreciate the colors, the birds, the animals, and churches? What a happy place of frolic.

By the way, friends and family who have lived in and visited Germany say it is a beautiful country today! Add it to your bucket list.

Don’t Worry; It’s Not Racist

1959

I learned early on the importance of a strong comb from 70s icon Fonzie, although most of the time–he didn’t need it.

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And for the record, Fonzie wasn’t racist either.

 

Second Byrd Antarctic Expedition

Among my granddad’s things is this gloriously colorful 24 x 18 map. My guess is that Gramps mailed his request to General Foods, as Grape-Nuts was one of the foods Byrd took on his journey.

Per curtiswrightmaps.com,

It depicts Antarctica from a polar perspective, with the tip of South America visible at the very top of the image. Large areas are labeled as unexplored, inaccessible, or “claimed.” Inset maps of Byrd’s route south and the area near his camp are provided to the audience as a helpful aid. As explained in the decorative title cartouche, Byrd’s second expedition was the first to feature live two way radio broadcasts. A radio station sponsored by CBS was set up on the base camp ship and relayed weekly updates to New York via Buenos Aires.

Below, you can see the copyright of 1934. One wonders if, at age 14, Gramps ever put this on his wall. It does not appear so. Or has it simply sat inside this envelope for 86 years, going from house to house each time he moved, packed away in a box and never tossed away?

Proper Pawmenship

Among my granddad’s endless child-of-the-Depression-era keepsakes (honestly, I should start a blog just called THAT, since it could last into the next century), was this signed (pawmenship, not penmanship) image of Rin Tin Tin himself. Does he look focused or forlorn? They really should have posed him looking up. In any event, he died the next year in 1932. Other RTT’s succeeded him, but he was the legit and only German Shepherd rescued from a World War I battlefield.

Far be it for Ken–L-Ration not to send advertising and pimp their products to young kids (like my gramps) who sent off for them. After all, it’s what Rin Tin Tin ate.