Chevro-Lay On Top Of Me Because That’s Normal

I guess I don’t get the artistic vision of this ad. To me, I see a car unable to simply cross a shallow stream, a driver who has abandoned his vehicle, and a half-naked woman pressed against the windshield, foot whimsically in the air, brick at her side.

Of course, that’s sexist. SHE could have very well been the driver when the LSD kicked in. She drove right into a creek. She took her clothes off. She got on top of the car to get a better view of the melting dancing hippos inside. But the brick? I don’t get it.

July 1959, Bel Air 2 door sedan

Derelict Hobos & The Demise Of The Running Board

hobosDid you realize these unkempt tramps were to blame for the ruin of the running board? Neither did I. Not until today. But this 1941 Chevrolet ad has opened mine eyes to the truth.

LifeFeb41-032

Just look at those adjectives: swank and streamlined. Running boards were preventing those adjectives from existing. And look how happy she is! A woman who wears an entire colony of minks on her frame is a woman I can trust. Maybe it’s badgers, wolverines–I don’t care, as long as they keep her warm.

And did you know there was a real fear of package-carrying tweens in knee breeches and dress shoes attacking your windows if your car had running boards? It was practically an invitation.

LifeFeb41-033Here I was thinking auto makers had simply stopped caring about style, but all along, I was wrong. I had never stopped to consider the peril involved in taking TWO STEPS.

LifeFeb41-034

This is what they mean when they talk about light-bulb moments, friends. Running boards were downright dangerous.

dangerous

It’s December, folks. Some of you Northerners can relate to Trenchcoat Trent and the loss of his dapper derby. Should that really happen in a civilized country? God bless Chevrolet for hitting CTRL+ALT-DEL on the cursed running board.

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: