Swiss Cardio 1929
Category: Vintage
Depression Apples In The Big Apple
When Your Cat Hates You
To be fair, all cats hate you. The contempt is thinly-veiled. For those of you unfamiliar with the wide-eyed Brazil nut pictured here, it’s Carmen Miranda, aka The Chiquita Banana Lady. And wide-eyed she was!
She may have danced her way to fame with a pile of fruit atop her head, much to the chagrin of Latin nations who felt stereotyped, but she had the last laugh. By 1945, she earned more than $200,000 (over $2 million in today’s money), becoming Hollywood’s highest-paid entertainer.
Numero uno, y’all!
She must have had fabulous posture and core control to forever be balancing colorful edible headgear and bearing the burden of 27 lbs of heavy metal accessories. No pain, no gain.
In August of 1955, Miranda was shooting a a song and dance number for the The Jimmy Durante Show when she fell to one knee. Out of breath, she finished the segment and went home. The next morning, Miranda died from a heart attack at her home in Beverly Hills. She was only 46.
To see her sing and samba, catch this 1943 clip of her in “The Lady in the Tutti-Frutti Hat.”
Precious Little Pre-WWII Graphs
I got my paws on a December 1939 Fortune magazine this week, which contained several interesting graph results of a readers’ poll. Keep in mind that there was no television then, no internet, no means of learning up-to-date war information other than radio or newspaper.
This question was: Which statement best represents your idea of Germany?
Most Americans believed that Germans were peace-loving, misled by ruthless rulers. Understanding that Hitler was the most ruthless of rulers, impending war led to this question.
I love the body language on these little black bodies. Yes, maybe, and hell to the no.
At this point, the four-term FDR was only in his second term, and readers had no way of knowing if he would go on to serve again. Look how cute they made the innacurately non-wheelchair-bound but accurately chainsmoking president look. Reports say he smoked 20-30 cigarettes per day! And as you recall, he did have polio, so he could not walk unassisted.
The last question simply asked if those polled wanted to keep FDR in the White House at all, which nearly half the readers did. And why not? Did you ever see a happier horse with a cigarette holder, swimming away from a crocodile?
Jeanie With The Flaming Red Hair
Oh, college students do love to have a “cause.” Why would they be giddily high-fiving in the midst of a bonfire? Here’s the explanation.
Fortunately for them, the Japanese dropped a bomb on Pearl Harbor a few months later, and they were sent off to war instead of this foolishness.
The Chuck Norris Of Phones
You don’t drop this phone; this phone drops you.
Fat Shaming & Lubrication
Look, we all have obese friends who ask too much of our heirloom furniture that we just had appraised on Antiques Roadshow by those buff Keno twins, and that stinks, but the good news is that Texaco can MARFAK your car. What on earth?
Snapping wicker=bad
40 Point lubrication=good
Makes perfect sense, right?
Derelict Hobos & The Demise Of The Running Board
Did you realize these unkempt tramps were to blame for the ruin of the running board? Neither did I. Not until today. But this 1941 Chevrolet ad has opened mine eyes to the truth.
Just look at those adjectives: swank and streamlined. Running boards were preventing those adjectives from existing. And look how happy she is! A woman who wears an entire colony of minks on her frame is a woman I can trust. Maybe it’s badgers, wolverines–I don’t care, as long as they keep her warm.
And did you know there was a real fear of package-carrying tweens in knee breeches and dress shoes attacking your windows if your car had running boards? It was practically an invitation.
Here I was thinking auto makers had simply stopped caring about style, but all along, I was wrong. I had never stopped to consider the peril involved in taking TWO STEPS.
This is what they mean when they talk about light-bulb moments, friends. Running boards were downright dangerous.
It’s December, folks. Some of you Northerners can relate to Trenchcoat Trent and the loss of his dapper derby. Should that really happen in a civilized country? God bless Chevrolet for hitting CTRL+ALT-DEL on the cursed running board.
Ads That Almost Changed My Mind, Part II
If it’s toasted, it can’t be that bad.
And what about these couples from a 1929 Camel ad? Don’t they look cozy and warm in the amber glow of a Prohibition-era eatery? If I couldn’t drink, I’d be smoking, too. Enjoy your finery and walking sticks while you got ’em, folks. Nine months ’til Black Tuesday…
For The Person Who Has Everything!
I Pledge Allegiance To Pure Evil
I just got this February 3, 1941 copy of Life. I have TONS of Life magazines; I even have a room we call the “Life room” because it has glass cabinets housing piles of vintage mags. But I’d never seen this one. The U.S. was a few months shy of entering WWII at this point, but we were well aware of The Führer. Don’t you just wish you were there to smash his face in?
The frenzy caused by his presence is disturbing and unnerving. What brainwashing of a country to treat him as their savior.
Have you seen these images before? I hadn’t. Are those beaming teenagers still alive? Have they since seen themselves in these images, so joyful, so radiant, so hopeful? Little did they know.
Ads That Almost Changed My Mind, Part I
This 1933 ad for Budweiser is so colorfully delicious, that I almost forgot my many encounters with the “King of Bottled Beer” and the inherent mehness it consistently offers. My Bud experience has ne’er entailed a sunbursting orchestra as fancy dancers trip the light fantastic. Then again, 1933 was the year that the 21st Amendment to the Constitution was ratified, ending national Prohibition. Any ale tastes good after 14 years of illicit backwoods hooch.
I Don't Get It 