We’re up all night to the sun
We’re up all night to get some
We’re up all night for good fun
We’re up all night to get lucky
( from “Get Lucky” 2014 Grammy Record of the Year)
Category: Funny
It Is Well With My Soul Glo
Fun fact of the day: Jheri curl creator Jheri Redding (born Robert William Redding) was an American hairdresser, chemist, haircare products entrepreneur, and a businessman. And an old white guy. But that didn’t stop folks from sporting the glossy, loosened curls.
If you have never watched Coming To America, do yourself a favor and enjoy Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall as the Hope & Crosby pairing for the 1980s. The movie parodied overuse of Jheri Curl in an advertisement for Soul Glo. My eardrums are still pierced from the shrill jingle (Prince meets Minnie Riperton). You remember Eriq La Salle rocking a Jheri? 
But the woman’s hairdo reminds me of Ola Ray, the luck, luckiest girl in the whole U.S.A. The girl from the Thriller video! The one we all wanted to be–with Michael’s arm around her! Is that blue leopard denim?
And while every senior in this 1985 yearbook wore the same striped tie or strapless gown, not all of them sported Jheri curl. This lady went for volume instead. 
The gentleman has a curious case of Kenan Thompson eyebrows. See for yourself.
Nobody told Victor he couldn’t wear Stevie Wonder glasses for class portraits. 
Still, his enormous shades were probably better choices than these three specs:
If you still need your Soul Glo fix, here ’tis:
Even Corey Hart Wouldn’t Wear These At Night
I don’t need to tell you from which decade this new yearbook hails, do I, peeps? Kiss could shout it, shout it out loud. Oh, how this new yearbook score is laden with delicious 80s-ness! No wiggin’ out over wars to protest or lame women’s rights. Just the sweet self-indulgence of excess. I truly hope that these two hotties (Joel and Tim) are alive and have access to WordPress, because who would not want to revisit his starry-eyed Captain-sans-Tenille, Magnum P.I.-Hawaiian-shirt look? Not I.
You’re The One That I Font
One thing I lack on my po’ person’s WordPress theme is the ability to change font (or the skill to access it). But if I had a genie and three wishes, one would be to sleep seven magical hours without changing positions at twelve minute intervals and/or pee out water I drank way back at 8pm, and then the second might be to imbibe endless ice-cold bubbly Cokes (with the perfect syrup to CO2 ratio) without harm to my stomach lining or causing inflammation, but surely the third one would be to have a blog with this sweet-a$$ font, which I would call (of course): Jack’s Barber Shop. I hate that I can’t type that in the actual JBS font. Curses!
Most of us didn’t give much thought to font when we were young, but nowadays, it can change everything. Perhaps you’ve witnessed the hate crimes against poor Comic Sans?
And this lesser viewed one…
Fortunately, a new font was created.
Yeah, that’s pretty swank, and most everyone loves lemon (or a glass of limoncello). But the reality is that lemonade stands are not lucrative. No one knows his neighbor these days. That nasty diluted dixie cup of Country Time might be poisoned like Jonestown Kool-Aid. So thanks, but no, thanks.
Instead, you’re all invited to my tavern (it’s two blocks down, just past the Walgreen’s), and tonight we’ll serve $3 pints of Shiner Bock and mojitos until we run out. Or whatever it is your state enjoys…
If you live in Canada, chances are high that you’re enjoying Molson Canadian (ahem? freedom of choice? diversity?). We’ll keep some cold for you.
And if PERHAPS you live on Fantasy Island where all the words have K’s in them, you may find yourself on this craft beer snob map–although it is impossible to read because you are, after all, made up of teensy tiny islands.
The Wurlitzer jukebox still offers four plays for a buck, and if you are Fonzie and know the sweet spot, you can get your selections gratis. We have a Happy Hour special on raspberry chipotle buffalo wings (with ranch, blue cheese, carrots, AND celery), cooked by my husband, and my famous crispy pepper bacon brownies. The early bird gets the worm. And when you have to use the restroom, it’s to the left, down past the pinball machines and Mrs. Pac-Man. Use the door for your gender (Jack or Jill), both written in Jack’s Barber Shop font. See you tonight!
Cropping Matters
Relics From The Past
I’m tempted to post a picture of Madonna (the title demands it), but instead, I will share machine-looking things with switches and cords that make things go.
Did you know what a linotypist was?
I recognize two items here: a typewriter AND a phone!
And of course, corded phones that require both a mouthpiece and an earpiece.
I’m afraid this, too, has been relegated to relic status.
The Best Is Yet To Come
I saw this picture in a 1940 yearbook and thought, “That looks a lot like Ol’ Blue Eyes, except for those jacked-up teeth.” Turns out it was Sinatra, and the best (teeth) were yet to come. The Chairman of the Board was not the big draw at the above 1940 Freshman Frolic; that honor went to Tommy Dorsey. Back in 1940, 25-year-old Frank was merely a “boy singer” in Dorsey’s band, earning sufficient funds to fix his teeth.
In fact, another six years would pass before Sinatra released his first studio album, The Voice of Frank Sinatra. He was lucky to get a mention in this partial review.
Don’t worry, Roscoe. He can’t put a hit out on you for saying this, although that does sound like his style. Confrontation he did not shy away from. And it was that spirit that sent him back for another round of dental work years later.
As Paul Anka recalls, a drunk Sinatra, upset that Sands Casino owner Howard Hughes had declined his credit, jumped up on a blackjack table and pitched a fit. When manager Carl Cohen tried to calm him down, Sinatra called him a “fat Jew bas****” and turned over a table. What could Cohen do? Turn the other cheek? Or punch him in the face and send Frank’s teeth flying across the room? He chose the latter.
“You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you”.–Walt Disney
Let The Good Times Roll, Part II
Rolling around in 1947. Get a load of the little Jayhawks (University of Kansas mascot) dotting the windshield.
Hello, Sailor
Mr. Roboto
November 1941
Gazing Adoringly
I think we know who the Big Man On Campus is…
If this sporty specimen plays her cards right (or that tennis racket), she may be wearing his fraternity pin by the end of the day.
Never heard of getting pinned? Google it. I haven’t got time for the pain. Here are some examples.
The gazing here is mutual.
Polka Dots gazes seductively at her date (or she is hypnotized by his choice of patterns).
This girl is downright giddy.
And this happy camper is so mesmerized by her plaid-clad man, that she doesn’t mind the Russian immigrants kicking the back of her bus seat.
New iPhone 6 Is The Bomb
P.S. You don’t need a new phone. It won’t make you cool. It won’t make people like you. It just means you’re desperate to obtain the latest gadget to make yourself feel important. You are already important. Keep your current phone. And stop dropping it in the toilet.
I Don't Get It 