You’re The One That I Font


One thing I lack on my po’ person’s WordPress theme is the ability to change font (or the skill to access it). But if I had a genie and three wishes, one would be to sleep seven magical hours without changing positions at twelve minute intervals and/or pee out water I drank way back at 8pm, and then the second might be to imbibe endless ice-cold bubbly Cokes (with the perfect syrup to CO2 ratio) without harm to my stomach lining or causing inflammation, but surely the third one would be to have a blog with this sweet-a$$ font, which I would call (of course): Jack’s Barber Shop. I hate that I can’t type that in the actual JBS font. Curses!


Most of us didn’t give much thought to font when we were young, but nowadays, it can change everything. Perhaps you’ve witnessed the hate crimes against poor Comic Sans?


And this lesser viewed one…

Fortunately, a new font was created.

Yeah, that’s pretty swank, and most everyone loves lemon (or a glass of limoncello). But the reality is that lemonade stands are not lucrative. No one knows his neighbor these days. That nasty diluted dixie cup of Country Time might be poisoned like Jonestown Kool-Aid. So thanks, but no, thanks.

Instead, you’re all invited to my tavern (it’s two blocks down, just past the Walgreen’s), and tonight we’ll serve $3 pints of Shiner Bock and mojitos until we run out. Or whatever it is your state enjoys…

If you live in Canada, chances are high that you’re enjoying Molson Canadian (ahem? freedom of choice? diversity?). We’ll keep some cold for you.

And if PERHAPS you live on Fantasy Island where all the words have K’s in them, you may find yourself on this craft beer snob map–although it is impossible to read because you are, after all, made up of teensy tiny islands.

The Wurlitzer jukebox still offers four plays for a buck, and if you are Fonzie and know the sweet spot, you can get your selections gratis. We have a Happy Hour special on raspberry chipotle buffalo wings (with ranch, blue cheese, carrots, AND celery), cooked by my husband, and my famous crispy pepper bacon brownies. The early bird gets the worm. And when you have to use the restroom, it’s to the left, down past the pinball machines and Mrs. Pac-Man. Use the door for your gender (Jack or Jill), both written in Jack’s Barber Shop font. See you tonight!

An Honor Just To Be Nominated

Award posts are time-consuming. You can’t just go through the motions. It takes some thoughtful consideration. You have to make sure you’ve followed the rules, picked the right/appropriate/deserving nominations to pay it forward, and thank your nominator. It’s like winning Miss America while naming a dozen other girls who can twirl baton and are just as worthy of the crown, if not more so.

The last time I did an award post, I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt regarding the blogs I did not include in the list of nominations, so I resolved never again to do one. But I DO have to show my gratitude for two nominations as of late, so I will happily name them. The truth is it is a big deal to feel appreciated and to feel connected to this community.

So–thank you to Michele at for nominating me for the Awesome Blog Content Award. That’s the main goal of all our blogs, right? To be awesome! I learned from her alphabetized list of qualities that she likes beer, wine, and pizza (check, check and check), as well as cats AND dogs (those seem mutually exclusive to me, since one is clearly superior to the other). It’s like saying you’re a Democrat and a Republican. Or maybe it’s just about balance.

I also have to thank Limbi at for nominating me for the Sunshine Award. I am liquid sunshine, sending warming rays out into the universe, as far away as London. Anyway, Limbi is a young man (who probably doesn’t feel young) who is new to WordPress and has somehow already racked up a bunch of awards. 🙂 He addresses issues of faith and God (the deep stuff), which keep my mind engaged and focus my attention away from the seduction of entertainment.

Anyway–I appreciate you both, and congrats to you as well for your nominations. Now I have to go record another duet with Tim McGraw.

Versatility Is My Middle Name

Thanks to young Lizi the Swiveler, for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger Award!


adjective, able to adapt or be adapted to many different functions or activities


As per the rules, I must nominate 15 blogs that are dripping with versatility as well. The following 15 blogs are ones which I enjoy as of late and that I’m nominating for the award (if you already have the VBA, then disregard; you don’t have to play.):

1. The World’s Top Ten by Russell, the best-looking nerd in the UK (I don’t know anyone in the UK, so I cannot argue the point.) I try to avoid serious topics most of the time because they make my head hurt, so I enjoy funny, happy, whimsical things–even if he posts a lot of cat stuff, and I loathe cats. But there is so much more than just cats, and that is versatile.

2. Pretty Little Treasures by a Belgium lady named Julie, who has lots of lovely pictures. The longer I’m on WordPress, the more I appreciate photography blogs, since one can get in and out in a matter of seconds, should one need a brief aesthetically-pleasing fix.

3. Michael’s TV Tray by (duh) Michael. His posts make me happy because I love classic pop culture, and I actually do care when a celebrity’s birthday is, as vacuous as that seems. In fact, I always wish my facebook friends happy birthday by telling them with whom they share their birthdays. Plus, Michael’s blog reminds me of a simpler time before grey hairs and nearsightedness, and I get to congratulate myself on remembering things he posts when I seem to be forgetting (rather than remembering) lately.

4. The Unorthodox Epicure by Adam. Just seeing his little gravatar face makes me feel upbeat. I feel like he’s always happy to see me, even though he has no clue who I am. Granted, he may look like Cletus T. Judd in a Toby Keith hat, but he marries confessions with recipes, and that is super versatile.

5. The Irrefutable Opinion by a woman whose name is so close to Billie Jean King that I probably just offended her by typing that. She makes me laugh and showed me what Mona Lisa would look like with bleached hair and fake Pam Anderson boobs.

6. The Fascinating Life of Eliot Benvue because it’s important to support young bloggers. And I like to hear his Scottish accent, now that he’s vlogging.

7.Florian Deutsch Fotografie by an Austrian photographer who speaks a language I can’t understand (German?), but I can still appreciate the photographs from the other side of the world.

8. I Didn’t Have My Glasses On by a grandmother who doesn’t look anything like a grandmother. I don’t have glasses but I need them, and have found that what I could read at 39, I cannot at 41. I like her blurry observations as well.

Okay, this has taken several hours to do this (partly because it’s hard to read without glasses), so I am (albeit-lamely) posted out. My apologies to the would-be other seven. I am exhausted. Small wonder Lizi the Swiveler (I want to call her Bartleby the Scrivener) can do this with youth and energy on her side.

According to the rules, I also have to post seven interesting things about myself.

1. I am a grammar Nazi.

2. I  like a wedge of lime with my Coca-Cola. And I realize Coke is bad for you and filled with junk, but mercy, I love it. I love it. Freezing cold and bubbly. I want some right now.

3.I have had insomnia for 8 years and am still alive–and trust me, you can live off an hour of sleep. Over and over again. You’ll go batship crazy, but you’ll live. You’ll quit your job and lose all your benefits and income and 401K, but you’ll live–and have time to blog.

4.I can flare my nostrils.

5.I don’t really care for Mumford & Sons or anime or Enya.

6.I don’t have an iPhone or an iPad and I don’t ever want one.

7.I know way too many dead celebrity’s real names, like Nathan Birnbaum and Archibald Leach.

Whew! It’s nearly time for Jay Leno; I can’t miss that. Hey, that’s fact #8: I always watch The Tonight Show (he only has two months left, you know).