Funny, Humor

Seven Minus Six Awards Post

My new WordPress buddy, Mark, at markbialczak.com has graciously nominated me for The Seven Awards. He is a Yankee, living in a frosty, shivery land right now, but I like him anyway. Congrats to him as a recipient of The Seven Awards. But Seven Awards is like the Chili’s Appetizer Platter; that’s too much to digest in one sitting.

http://wellandchic.wordpress.com/author/ronitiri/
http://wellandchic.wordpress.com/author/ronitiri/

I perused the Sampler Platter, and chose the one consistent with my blog theme of Cheer, because on my blog, Christmas is every day! So I’ll just slip this onion ring off the plate and accept it in all its red and gold glory. Plus, I found a nice, crisp image to go with it. Don’t low-res pics on WordPress drive you NUTS?? They make my eyes squirm.

christmas-cards

I do hope that constantly sharing black and white images of the past brings joy and hope and love, but surely not peace, as there will never be World Peace, so don’t even bother putting that on your wish list. Have you seen Russia lately? See, this is why I don’t do Awards Posts; I get off track.

This is the last award I will ever need. Just now, the lyrics portion of my brain has overridden my thought process and can only play Don Henley singing, “This is the last worth evening that you’ll ever spend…” Right, Don. That’s an empty promise if I ever heard one. Oh, that reminds me of The Eagles’ “Seven Bridges Road.” More sevens!

Think of things that come in sevens:

  • Days of the week
  • Deadly sins
  • Wonders of the world

Can you think of more? Where was I again? Oh, yes, the Cracking Chrispmouse Bloggywog Award. I like to say that repeatedly because it’s crazy. Not whackjob crazy like anything at Cirque de Soleil, but still. Oh, that reminds me of funny names! So I’ll nominate:

funnynamesblog.com

because I like to mock, and we have all have something silly about ourselves. I had a funny name growing up, so I can enjoy funny names. Okay, one down. Usually, I am quite the rule-abider, but these things are so complicated, and it’s Tuesday, and school was delayed two hours due to icicles, icicles everywhere. You think anyone is going to brave that to head to the polls and vote today? Not.

Okay, seven things about me: Oh, get this, you guys. I bought a stack of used Saveur magazines last week because I like pretty pictures of food and foreign people holding baskets of colorful produce (that is not racist) and so I noticed that the prior keeper of the magazines dogeared some recipes. Fine, perfectly normal. Except he/she dogeared at the bottom. At the bottom. What? Was she dropped on her head? Who does that? So that’s one fact about me: I don’t like people who dogear at the bottom because they weren’t raised right.

http://www.youtube.com/
http://www.youtube.com/

Dangit! I had to get up because the stupid wandering fat orange neighborhood cat who should not be free to roam about (because subdivisions have rules, and owners should control their beasts) has once again come to tease my dogs by walking the fenceline, which makes them howl, and there is little I like less than a vocal dog, except perhaps owners who DO NOT CONTROL THEM. So I’m going to go discipline my dogs and pray that a sharp icicle lances through the blubbery torso of said feline, at which point I may write a very joyful post about that.

Humor

An Honor Just To Be Nominated

http://www.cmt.com/pictures/taylor-swift/photo-gallery
http://www.cmt.com/pictures/taylor-swift/photo-gallery

Award posts are time-consuming. You can’t just go through the motions. It takes some thoughtful consideration. You have to make sure you’ve followed the rules, picked the right/appropriate/deserving nominations to pay it forward, and thank your nominator. It’s like winning Miss America while naming a dozen other girls who can twirl baton and are just as worthy of the crown, if not more so.

http://www.survivingcollege.com/
http://www.survivingcollege.com/

The last time I did an award post, I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt regarding the blogs I did not include in the list of nominations, so I resolved never again to do one. But I DO have to show my gratitude for two nominations as of late, so I will happily name them. The truth is it is a big deal to feel appreciated and to feel connected to this community.

So–thank you to Michele at http://lifeasagarden.wordpress.com/ for nominating me for the Awesome Blog Content Award. That’s the main goal of all our blogs, right? To be awesome! I learned from her alphabetized list of qualities that she likes beer, wine, and pizza (check, check and check), as well as cats AND dogs (those seem mutually exclusive to me, since one is clearly superior to the other). It’s like saying you’re a Democrat and a Republican. Or maybe it’s just about balance.

http://versusali.com/cats-vs-dogs/
http://versusali.com/cats-vs-dogs/

I also have to thank Limbi at http://limbiley.wordpress.com/awards/ for nominating me for the Sunshine Award. I am liquid sunshine, sending warming rays out into the universe, as far away as London. Anyway, Limbi is a young man (who probably doesn’t feel young) who is new to WordPress and has somehow already racked up a bunch of awards. 🙂 He addresses issues of faith and God (the deep stuff), which keep my mind engaged and focus my attention away from the seduction of entertainment.

Anyway–I appreciate you both, and congrats to you as well for your nominations. Now I have to go record another duet with Tim McGraw.

Humor

Versatility Is My Middle Name

Thanks to young Lizi the Swiveler, for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger Award!

ver·sa·tile 

ˈvərsətl/
adjective, able to adapt or be adapted to many different functions or activities

versatile-blogger-nominations

As per the rules, I must nominate 15 blogs that are dripping with versatility as well. The following 15 blogs are ones which I enjoy as of late and that I’m nominating for the award (if you already have the VBA, then disregard; you don’t have to play.):

1. The World’s Top Ten by Russell, the best-looking nerd in the UK (I don’t know anyone in the UK, so I cannot argue the point.) I try to avoid serious topics most of the time because they make my head hurt, so I enjoy funny, happy, whimsical things–even if he posts a lot of cat stuff, and I loathe cats. But there is so much more than just cats, and that is versatile.

2. Pretty Little Treasures by a Belgium lady named Julie, who has lots of lovely pictures. The longer I’m on WordPress, the more I appreciate photography blogs, since one can get in and out in a matter of seconds, should one need a brief aesthetically-pleasing fix.

3. Michael’s TV Tray by (duh) Michael. His posts make me happy because I love classic pop culture, and I actually do care when a celebrity’s birthday is, as vacuous as that seems. In fact, I always wish my facebook friends happy birthday by telling them with whom they share their birthdays. Plus, Michael’s blog reminds me of a simpler time before grey hairs and nearsightedness, and I get to congratulate myself on remembering things he posts when I seem to be forgetting (rather than remembering) lately.

4. The Unorthodox Epicure by Adam. Just seeing his little gravatar face makes me feel upbeat. I feel like he’s always happy to see me, even though he has no clue who I am. Granted, he may look like Cletus T. Judd in a Toby Keith hat, but he marries confessions with recipes, and that is super versatile.

5. The Irrefutable Opinion by a woman whose name is so close to Billie Jean King that I probably just offended her by typing that. She makes me laugh and showed me what Mona Lisa would look like with bleached hair and fake Pam Anderson boobs.

6. The Fascinating Life of Eliot Benvue because it’s important to support young bloggers. And I like to hear his Scottish accent, now that he’s vlogging.

7.Florian Deutsch Fotografie by an Austrian photographer who speaks a language I can’t understand (German?), but I can still appreciate the photographs from the other side of the world.

8. I Didn’t Have My Glasses On by a grandmother who doesn’t look anything like a grandmother. I don’t have glasses but I need them, and have found that what I could read at 39, I cannot at 41. I like her blurry observations as well.

Okay, this has taken several hours to do this (partly because it’s hard to read without glasses), so I am (albeit-lamely) posted out. My apologies to the would-be other seven. I am exhausted. Small wonder Lizi the Swiveler (I want to call her Bartleby the Scrivener) can do this with youth and energy on her side.

According to the rules, I also have to post seven interesting things about myself.

1. I am a grammar Nazi.

2. I  like a wedge of lime with my Coca-Cola. And I realize Coke is bad for you and filled with junk, but mercy, I love it. I love it. Freezing cold and bubbly. I want some right now.

http://laurawegener.blogspot.com/2012/11/lifes-lime-wedge.html
http://laurawegener.blogspot.com/2012/11/lifes-lime-wedge.html

3.I have had insomnia for 8 years and am still alive–and trust me, you can live off an hour of sleep. Over and over again. You’ll go batship crazy, but you’ll live. You’ll quit your job and lose all your benefits and income and 401K, but you’ll live–and have time to blog.

4.I can flare my nostrils.

5.I don’t really care for Mumford & Sons or anime or Enya.

6.I don’t have an iPhone or an iPad and I don’t ever want one.

7.I know way too many dead celebrity’s real names, like Nathan Birnbaum and Archibald Leach.

Whew! It’s nearly time for Jay Leno; I can’t miss that. Hey, that’s fact #8: I always watch The Tonight Show (he only has two months left, you know).

Celebrities, Humor

Supersweet Wilford Brimley Diabeetus Award

http://cossiethegreat.blogspot.com/
http://cossiethegreat.blogspot.com/

Yes, it’s an award post.  But less creative on my part.  First, thanks to Yvette at http://strawberryquicksand.wordpress.com/2013/06/15/1353/ for nominating me.  She drives a bus, I don’t at all resent her for being a dozenish months younger than I, and she teaches me new phrases in the Australian English language.  Now I know what “quite the pong” means, and I intend to use it.  And she has the keen sense to pick up on my almost tangible sweetness.  So let me get to it.

 super-sweet-blogging-award

THE 5 SWEET QUESTIONS

1. Cookies or Cake? – Cookies.  Especially cowboy cookies.  I don’t like cake.  I didn’t even want a wedding cake at my wedding.  It’s like eating a sponge.  So I let my husband have German chocolate cake, and I got blackberry pie, enough for all the guests.  Do I remember eating any?  No, but there is a picture of me doing so, one of the few actual bites I ate of anything we ponied up thousands of dollars for.  Good thing I didn’t spill blackberry on my white wedding dress, which BTW was never cleaned, and is sitting on a hanger in the upstairs bedroom, waiting to be worn by the daughter I never had.

2. Chocolate or Vanilla? – Chocolate.  Vanilla is for people with bland palates, people who don’t take risks, people who order CHEESE pizza.  Really?  Cheese is part of pizza to begin with.  It’s like ordering a bread sandwich.  

3. Favorite Sweet Treat? – Dark chocolate raspberry cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory got me as close to the When Harry Met Sally diner scene as I’ll ever get, but since we’re in a recession, living on poverty wages, I’ll have to answer with something I eat daily, which is Walgreen’s honey-roasted cashews.  I know, it sounds tame, but they’re like meth to me.  I eat them hourly, despite how many points Weight Watchers says they are.  A pox on you, Jennifer Hudson!

4. When do you crave sweet things most? – At conscious moments.  From the moment I awaken, when I pour peppermint mocha creamer in my freshly-ground coffee, until I go to bed during Jimmy Fallon, thinking about how in only a few hours, I will be putting creamer in my coffee.

5.  Sweet Nickname – Sugarbritches.  No, I wish.  I don’t have a nickname.   

So look, you guys.  I have spent the last few days, going to each one of the bloghouses that my Aussie Strawberry galpal listed, and there is NO WAY I could top that.  I realized that the sites I visit are usually happy, funny blogs, because I self-medicate with humor, wine, and food.  I’m like a walking e-card.

http://simplysarahchic.blogspot.com/
http://simplysarahchic.blogspot.com/

But I realized it’s actually possible to enjoy non-humor-based blogs.  So I will just encourage you to take the time to read the others whom she nominated.  They’ll put whichever cross your bearing into perspective, give you insight, and hopefully broaden your horizons.  Having traveled almost nowhere, my scope of experience is fairly limited.  So here they are, in her own words:

Arash Recovery – Arash is an unbelievable story of tenacity and determination. Arash suffered a devastating injury that has left him paralysed.  His blog is about the recovery process and his never-say-die attitude.

View From a Walking Frame – Nicola has cerebral palsy. This is her blog on how she gets through life, from going out to dinner, to catching buses to shoe shopping.  She is one hell of a chick.  Check out her blog for some light hearted laughs.

The Fascinating Life of Eliot Benvie – Eliot is a teenaged Scottish schoolboy who writes a very articulate and interesting blog about his daily life, his views on the world, and everything in-between.

Yummy Lummy – Gary is a doctor who loves food. I love his blog because we live in the same city and it gives me a chance to work out what restaurants are good to go to and which ones might suck a little bit.

Blink Packing – Josh and his little family of three are almost done with a trip around the USA in a 1963 Shasta caravan.  Josh’s blog is really interesting as it opens one’s eyes to the greater USA, vintage caravan and small child in tow.  Josh’s adventures are ones that will stay with him for a lifetime and will hopefully inspire you to live your dream.

My Midlife Mayhem – Louisa is a ballsy chick from Sydney who tells it how it is.  Her family stories revolve around The Old Man, and her teenage kids, Nerd Child and Kurt (the ADHDer).

The life and Times of Nathan Badley – Nathan has to be one of my favourite blog posters. When checking my emails, if I see one pop up from Nathan Badley’s blog, I will immediately read it, and invariably end up holding my sides, tears of laughter pouring down my face.

My Accidental Adventure – Jesse is a young-at-heart older fellow who is currently living out a childhood dream and working on a Dude Ranch in Colorado. This summer appointment follows a necessary move to the mountains where Jesse and his lovely have had to forge a whole new life for themselves.  Check out his blog for some lovely stories and awesome photos of the wilderness.

Thanks again to Yvette, and congratulations to her as well!

Humor

The Liebster Blog Award

liebI have been officially blogging for two months now, and only wish I had started earlier. What an intelligent, creative group of bloggers we have in WordPress!  And what an insane world we live in, where we can post our thoughts and share them across the globe in a matter of seconds.

Now for the good news!  I was among the nominees chosen by crankycaregiver at http://crankycaregiver.wordpress.com for The Liebster Blog Award .  It is given to up-and- coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. I qualify!  So, first and foremost, I give thanks to cranky in the words of the immortal Wayne Newton.

danke00051

She is a grandma, so she should appreciate full-on grandma roses and butterflies.  All we need now is a Thomas Kinkade painting.

Moving forward:  “Liebster” is German for “favorite,” “dearest,” or “beloved.”  This award encourages newbies, who can, in turn, welcome fellow newcomers by passing on this award.  (You will not get penalized if you decide not to pass it on.)

Now, of course, there are rules to passing on the baton, so if you choose to accept this mission and pay it forward, here are the rules:

1. Thank your Liebster Blog Award presenter on your blog.

2. Link back to the blogger who awarded you.

3. Copy & Paste the award to your blog (I have provided choices in many united colors of Benetton).

4.  List 11 Random Facts about yourself.

5. Answer the questions asked by the blogger who nominated you.

6. Nominate 5 blogs that you enjoy to receive the award and who have less than 200 followers.

7. List 11 questions for your nominees.

8. Inform them of their nomination by leaving a comment on their blog.

Wow.  I just had a birthday, but I think I’ll have another by the time I wrap this up.

Step 4 – 11 Random Facts About Kerbey:

  1. I love Coke, even though it’s bad for me.
  2. I sing in my church’s band.
  3. Kerbey was actually the name of my blue heeler, who has since passed.  R.I.P., Kerbey.
  4. I enjoy it when music is playing in department stores because it makes me happy while I shop, so I cannot tolerate the cemetery ambience of Target any more.
  5. A week in my life has not passed in which I have not consumed chips and salsa.
  6. I don’t care for loud bass, especially in a car parked anywhere near my home.
  7. My head is full of 80s song lyrics.
  8. If you are waiting on me, I will give you a hefty tip if you can simply KEEP MY ICED TEA GLASS FULL.
  9. It is likely that I will live and die in Texas.
  10. I always bring wine to the party.
  11. I very rarely laugh out loud.  I would like to, but it rarely happens.

Step Five – Answer 11 Questions from the person who nominated you.

  1. If you were stranded on a desert island, which storyteller would you like to be on your island?  Jan Karon, because I like happy shiney stories with little darkness.  I don’t need sci-fi, horror, nightmares, or murder.  EVER.  
  2. Why did you choose WordPress?  My husband told me to. 
  3. Do your family and friends support your passion for your blog? My family is quite supportive.  Many of my friends are too busy with young children to read their mail, much less blogs.  
  4. How often do you post on your blog? Usually daily.  I currently am blessed to have the time to do that.
  5. Have you met any of your fellow WordPress Bloggers? In person?  No. 
  6. What is your favorite hobby?  WRITING, followed by eating and drinking.
  7. Where do you look for inspiration for your works?  Life, TV, magazines, nights of insomnia, nights in white satin (oh, scratch that) …
  8. Would you rather read or write?  Writing with my Ink Joy pen makes my wrist hurt, so typing is ideal there, although staring at a screen is bad on your eyes.  So is reading if you can’t read with your left eye, because it degenerates in proportion with advancing coothood.  So it’s a draw.  
  9. Who’s your favorite relative and why?  It’s a tie between my husband (who cooks my meals) and son (who has my cowlicks).  I also have so many great writers in my family, who have paved the way.
  10. When you go to the Reader, do you read the blogs you follow first and then browse through the topics to find more?  Back and forth.  I’m usually in the mood for humor and spend hours just scrolling for something to make me laugh.
  11. How did you hear about WordPress?  The hub.

Step 6 – Nominate 5 Blogs you enjoy

The nominees for best supporting blogger in a dramatic role in a foreign film or documentary (just kidding) are as follows:

Annum Zhara- http://annumzhara.wordpress.com/ (I like GOOD pictures of food and words about food and eating food.)

Mr. Jackson – http://niallcjackson.wordpress.com/ (i love the cool picture from Havana that looked more like a skit from The Carol Burnett Show than real life)

Ben Ricard – http://http://benricard.org (neat photos, and we have to support ex-pats)

Michael – http://http://midnightpizzaproductions.wordpress.com (because everyone likes pizza–probably even communists–and i still use my VCR–and he is funny, even though he has a penchant for ginormous paragraphs)

Nancy – http://http://ourvintagelife.com/ (because her post made me cry when i didn’t want to)

Step 7 – My 11 Questions for My 5 Nominees

  1. How often do you blog and why?
  2. How do you like your eggs?  If you don’t eat eggs, what is wrong with you?
  3. Did your parents take enough pictures of your childhood?
  4. Who was one of the first authors to impact your young life?
  5. Do you own a Kindle or do you read books made of paper, as is the natural order of things?
  6. How do you feel about magazines?
  7. You’ve just adopted a happy golden retriever and an arrogant, Siamese cat from the animal shelter.  What do you name them?
  8. Can you drive a stick shift?
  9. If you become an award-winning writer and go on The Tonight Show to pimp your book, and companies start hounding you to endorse their product, which product would you choose to endorse?  (I have already disclosed that I would endorse Ross Dress for Less, pieces of gum stuck on dressing room stall doors notwithstanding.)
  10. Does it bother you that Bart Simpson is voiced by a woman and Miss Piggy is voiced by a man?
  11. Should men moisturize, and have you ever met one that has?

Whew, I need a cig!  Wait, I don’t smoke! That took a fortnight.  Good luck to you nominees just getting through this post.  The fact that we woke up with air in our lungs today is enough to be thankful for, but I also feel blessed to be a member of the WordPress community, along with all of you!

liebster-blog200