Chocolates Or I Shoot You: Accurate Depiction Of Motherhood

May 1932

Oft is the time I’ve enjoyed a Whitman’s Sampler; Walgreen’s always has them in supply. But what of this metal box of Loveliness? Isn’t that a fruit of the spirit? No, I forget myself. Loveliness is full of surprise centers. Forrest Gump’s mother was well-acquainted with these. I received neither last Sunday. But at least I’m not stuck on a frontier with my frock stuck in a cactus.

Gazing Adoringly

I think we know who the Big Man On Campus is…

If this sporty specimen plays her cards right (or that tennis racket), she may be wearing his fraternity pin by the end of the day.

KU-Spring46005Never heard of getting pinned? Google it. I haven’t got time for the pain. Here are some examples.


The gazing here is mutual.


Polka Dots gazes seductively at her date (or she is hypnotized by his choice of patterns).

JayhawkerSpring47013This girl is downright giddy.JayhawkerWinter47007

And this happy camper is so mesmerized by her plaid-clad man, that she doesn’t mind the Russian immigrants kicking the back of her bus seat.



Sitting Pretty

Hey, Einstein, why are you wearing ladies’ sandals?  It’s the theory of RELATIVITY, not femininity.

And what about Marion Morrison, the butchest guy of all time?  The virtual paragon of manhood?  What is this get-up?  No, I won’t mess with The Duke.  After all, he said, “I don’t have to assert my virility. I think my career has shown that I’m not exactly a pantywaist.”

Okay, you two, you can keep your man cards.  But it takes a REAL man to sit patiently through this.

I hope he had a steady hand…