17th Marquis De Portago

LIFE 4-9-56
LIFE 4-9-56

God only knows what Alfonso de Portago was doing while his wife (at left) looked on, and racecar driver Eugenio Castellotti looked down. Perhaps it should have been prayer.

Also known as Alfonso Antonio Vicente Eduardo Angel Blas Francisco de Borja Cabeza de Vaca y Leighton, the 17th Marquis of Portago took up racecar driving as a hobby in his mid-20s. Considered by other drivers as “a flashy upstart and a self-centered phenomenon,” he was nonetheless signed by Ferrari for its racing division in the winter of ’56.

Portago, who had crashed a plane on a cow for a $500 bet, commented, “I won’t die in an accident. I’ll die of old age or be executed in some gross miscarriage of justice.”

Um, nope. That’s not what happened.

All I had to do was flip to this pic in the LIFE article and predict this guy with a habit of “brushing close to death” wouldn’t last long.

life040956-019

Do you see what I mean? Cocky.

Driver Castelloti (shown in the first image) was killed in a race the following March, only months after the picture was taken. But the Marquis? Well, he and co-driver Edmund Nelson blew a tire on Portago’s Ferrari 335 S, causing it to spin into the crowd lining the highway during the 1957 Mille Miglia. Nine spectators were killed, among them five children. Nelson and Portago’s bodies were badly disfigured beneath the flipped Ferrari.  Both were killed instantly.

Sounds like the James Dean quote that was wrongly attributed to him. “Live fast, die young and have a good-looking corpse!” was actually said by actor John Derek in the 1949 film Knock On Any Door. Perhaps living fast is not a good motto.

http://andreadekker.com/
http://andreadekker.com/

En Route To Inspiration Point

Pontiac Bonneville Convertible LIFE 1959
Pontiac Bonneville Convertible LIFE 1959

Such pretty blues. I really like the artwork on this one. I also enjoy how the ad boasts (with exclamation points) of its “perfect proportion,” “supple suspension,” and “swayless stability.” Somebody likes alliteration…

You Dropped Your Lip Gloss

credit: Chris Johns
credit: Chris Johns

The most vexing part of this picture to me is not the dangerous Footloose scene that comes to mind; it is the fact that it is midnight. Yes, this was the “midnight sun” in Anchorage, Alaska during the summer months of 1988. Broad daylight be damned, denimed young people were still making bad decisions, not the least of which was jacking up their trucks, as well as inviting passengers to sit in lawn furniture with the tailgate down. Courting disaster.

http://basementrejects.com/
http://basementrejects.com/

1949 Packard Eight

Life magazine
Life magazine

130 HP Club Sedan $2274, fender shields $18, white sidewalls $21

Why do you suppose they illustrated this sedan, driving through mud on a construction site? To imply they were “movin’ on up” to the post-war, affluent side? That people who buy new cars also buy new houses? All I know is I sure do like that kelly green.

Derelict Hobos & The Demise Of The Running Board

hobosDid you realize these unkempt tramps were to blame for the ruin of the running board? Neither did I. Not until today. But this 1941 Chevrolet ad has opened mine eyes to the truth.

LifeFeb41-032

Just look at those adjectives: swank and streamlined. Running boards were preventing those adjectives from existing. And look how happy she is! A woman who wears an entire colony of minks on her frame is a woman I can trust. Maybe it’s badgers, wolverines–I don’t care, as long as they keep her warm.

And did you know there was a real fear of package-carrying tweens in knee breeches and dress shoes attacking your windows if your car had running boards? It was practically an invitation.

LifeFeb41-033Here I was thinking auto makers had simply stopped caring about style, but all along, I was wrong. I had never stopped to consider the peril involved in taking TWO STEPS.

LifeFeb41-034

This is what they mean when they talk about light-bulb moments, friends. Running boards were downright dangerous.

dangerous

It’s December, folks. Some of you Northerners can relate to Trenchcoat Trent and the loss of his dapper derby. Should that really happen in a civilized country? God bless Chevrolet for hitting CTRL+ALT-DEL on the cursed running board.