How A Mattress Saved A Family
Category: Humor
Tuesday Trivia Tidbit: Dangerfield Tats
This morning, I watched a clip of Rodney Dangerfield on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. I miss how late night shows showcased comedians almost on a nightly basis. Nowadays, most shows end with a musical act of which I’ve usually never heard–and which often leave me confused and with little faith for the future of the music industry. But back in the day, comedians were in demand (you couldn’t throw a stick at a screen without catching a stand-up routine and a brick background), and Rodney’s style was a machine gun delivery. You barely had time to process one joke before he hit with another.
All this led me to the Tuesday trivia tidbit that (as reported in 2007) Dangerfield tattoos are among the most popular celebrity tattoos in the United States. That struck me as odd, since he passed in 2004, and he peaked in the 80s. But check him out on what appears to be a young calf.
Maybe Dangerfield was a leg man, as he appears on many of them.
Here’s another variation of the same image, with the handkerchief applied to the face (like he’s sweating mid-panic attack).
He also made an appearance on a shoulder blade in the montage with fellow funnymen Sam Kinison, Benny Hill, and W.C. Fields.
It just seems an odd choice in a world full of Marilyn Monroe and James Dean tats, to ink your body with the face of a middle-aged Jewish man, aka Jacob Cohen. Then again, no one would recognize a tattoo of this young man.
Shut The Front Door
At least that’s what it looks like she’s saying. The one that’s not holding the plunger, wearing a satin evening gown, smiling at the casually-dressed lady opening the car door. ‘Cause that makes sense.
Meeting The Ex-Girlfriend
Here we see Cary Grantish introducing his new girlfriend in red (who may have either scoliosis or some sort of pelvic trauma causing that posture) to his former flame, Lana Turnerish, in purple. Lana asks, “Oh, is that where you met? How interesting.”
Cary, in his oblivion, doesn’t think there’s cause for cattiness, since that relationship ended over a decade ago, but that doesn’t stop Green Striped Hat from sizing up his current squeeze.
But the real flirtation is with these two. They’re obviously not married; no wife would beam at her man like that (unless she’s Nancy Reagan). No, this gal is setting a snare. 
All aboard a Pullman!
Honey, We Can’t Live In Hotels Forever
Oh, the First World Problems of 1946! Howard wants to go house-hunting, but Mary is backed up. He offers to make her a glass of Sal Hepatica, which to me sounds like a mixture of Sal Mineo and hepatitis. Don’t do it, Mary!
You remember what happens to Sal Mineo, Mary? He gets stabbed to death in an alley by a pizza delivery man 30 years from now. Is that how you want to go out, Mary?
Fortunately, the sparkling, saline laxative works for Mary, and she jumps from el excusado to Howard’s arms in no time flat. Dream home, here we come!
Noah’s Ark Giraffes Find Fame On Swimsuit
Is that not the cutest swimsuit you ever saw? Yes, the one under “real food.” Unfortunate placement indeed.
And for the fellas, here’s some shades of Betty Grable.
So Many Ozzie Nelsons
Clearly none of these Ozzie Nelsons has a gluten allergy. That’s one thing we can all appreciate about the Cold War era. You’ll shove it in your face, and you’ll like it. And evidently Ricky did, since he ate a hundred. Harriet, ladylike, made ’em thin and dainty. And David’s were huge to help fuel his many chores.
Ah, now there’s the real Ozzie, flipping flapjacks. I don’t know about you, but I like both The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet AND the pancakes. In fact, I named my dog Jemima. It has a better ring to it than Mrs. Butterworth.
They Will ABSOLUTELY Miss The Meat: Libby’s Easy-Don’t Friday Sludgefest
Oh, Libby. I don’t know who or where you are, but I know you are misleading America. I remember a jingle about “Libby, Libby, Libby on the label, label, label” and now I imagine your name was said thrice as folks were shaking their heads at atrocities such as this. I think we can all agree that a mom who throws a can of corn on deviled eggs “in hot, undiluted cream of mushroom soup” (as indicated below) is dialing it in. And peas with salmon chunks? I am nigh on the verge of regurgitation, Libby.
Draw Your Own Conclusions
Jazziest Torso Ever
Bracing Yourself Against The Wind And Shame
You Sure Are Heavy, Mary
I Don't Get It 