This 1958 Ford ad isn’t cropped or split down the middle of a page. It actually says “Merica’s” instead of America. I’m assuming it was implied that the painter had painted it on the part of the billboard to which we aren’t privy. But as it stands, it’s pretty funny. And the rest of the ad itself was peppy and colorful.
It’s Stevens Twist Twill, lest ye forget. The red lion. And just in case you’re not familiar with twill, it’s a fabric with ridges. It’s the Ruffles of the material world.
You know how people these days looooove to say how important it is to “start a dialog” about things? How necessary it is for them to “start the conversation”? It makes me want to wretch, that kind of speech. So let’s just have a chit-chat about these manufacturer names, shall we? First off: Jack Tar Togs, that’s brilliant. It sounds like the mascot for a little league team. Go, Jack Tar Togs!
Hit Em Hard seems aggressive, but the list includes many manly names like Big Dad and 5 Brother (forget 5 Sister) and Stur-Dee. Sounds super reliable, right? But then others are more vexing. Pool’s is “swetpruf”? What is that about? That’s not even phonetically-spelled.
It reminds me of Farmer Jack’s advertising ploy. But he does it on PURPOSE. Or purrpuss, shall I say?
And as for Tuf-Nut? Yikes. I’ll take your word for it.
Note the M on Mabel’s daisy dress, a precursor to Laverne’s sweater L.
Though no longer widely distributed in the U.S., Black Label remains the official beer of Beer Frisbee, aka Beersbie–because that’s a thing.
In South Africa, they went in another direction, a decidedly non-Mabel direction. MANLY.
Doesn’t it look HEAVY? That must be the 22 oz mug.
And in Australia, it was even weirder.
Such a fun opening riff, a soft and easy California feeling. Chewin’ on a piece of grass, walking’ down the road…
Then Jorge stops his strumming to assert that there is no actual Ventura Highway, only Ventura County. But Otilia (the older, haggard woman in the back whose hair is struggling to flee her scalp while she strums the hammock strings) says, “No seas tonto, Jorge” and explains that the actual song was about a young boy standing on the side of the road while his dad changed a flat tire. Get with the program, Jorge. Common knowledge.
Maybe it wasn’t actually Nancy Culp from The Beverly Hillbillies. Did she even play classical guitar? She clearly hated doublenecked guitars.
And while she gained notoriety playing a spinster, she was actually married for 10 years. Per wikipedia, one reviewer said she had the “face of a shriveled balloon, the figure of a string of spaghetti, and the voice of a bullfrog in mating season.” Perhaps that’s a bit harsh. Ribbit.
Ah, yes. In the years before talk of puppy mills and Pit Bulls & Parolees, folks would go to the Pet Shop and actually procure puppies there, not just on the days when the Humane Society pimped strays on Saturdays. Can’t you just smell their little puppy breath and the softness of their puppy heads? This is part of a 1956 ad for Friskies.
Now, I’ve had plenty of dogs in my day, and they all liked meat. Carrots, no. Cabbage, wouldn’t touch it. Celery, forget it. But chicken and beef and pork? Yes. Basically any of the Chipotle proteins, dogs like. Now in case you didn’t skim the ad up top, it says Friskies contains “lean red horse meat.” Yum! Giddyup! So we can safely assume those beagle puppies were into horsemeat. It makes me wonder about Jemima. Jemima was the beagle we lost last year to cancer, and she looked nothing like Snoopy, who is also purportedly a beagle. Even this Pinterest image shows you that Snoopy and beagles have hardly anything in common. But I bet they’d both eat horse meat.
And turkey.
And bacon and eggs.
Maybe, just maybe, they’d both like watermelon for dessert, like this happy beagle.
But then it’s strictly back to horse meat.
This poor boy got the sunken eyes of his mama, and both ladies’ shoes makes their feet look like hooves.
The lady at the tippy top gives me the heebeejeebs. Those bangs… But what a festive smattering of smocks!
This one here looks about a century old, whatwith the bunned hair and flouncy floor-length gowns. Check out this happy lass and her parasol.
While it may sound like the name of a royal princess of Wales, Charlotte Amalie is actually the largest city of the United States Virgin Islands, located in St. Thomas. Below, you can see the celebration in Charlotte Amalie on the 50th anniversary of Transfer Day, which marked the transfer of the islands from Denmark to the United States in 1917. Last year, of course, they celebrated a full 100 years.
While an enthusiastic sailor on shore leave from the cruiser USS Newport News (and he might be smoking Newports, to boot) hurls a ball at the weighted bottles at Carnival Village, the broad donning the Faye Dunaway floppy hat seems none too thrilled to either score his hits nor score his number. She has spent all day blowing up balloons, and her cheeks are as stretched as Dizzy Gillespie’s.
Note the look of awe on the boy in the far back.
I saw this pic and immediately thought of the 1947 poem:
Hold steady to grandma, lest she fall down
Let grass stains stay clear of her three button gown
‘Twill not be flattering should she choose to go prone
Give up the ghost, and leave Grandpa alone
But what of Aunt Doris who clings to the wrist
Of my sweet Cousin Lois who dare not resist
For fear that the lips of Doris get flubbery
As she sobs while Uncle Jim hides behind shrubbery
Has he donned trousers? Hast thou the knowledge?
He only had two years at community college
He lettered in arm wrestling; his grip was quite strong
To his daughter Eleanor, the gene passed along
And now she stands confident, with nary a frown
Holding steady to grandma, lest she fall down.
I Don't Get It 