Fashion – Page 37 – I Don't Get It

Highkicking It Old School, Majorette Style

According to the World Baton Twirling Federation, baton twirling is a sport involving the manipulation of a metal rod with the hands and body to a co-coordinated routine. Many moons ago, soldiers would twirl rifles as they marched in parades. As the activity progressed, a rifle twirler moved to the front to get the party started. To keep from accidentally shooting onlookers, rifles made way for batons, rods made from hollow light metal with light rubber ends, balanced to give accuracy to the twirler.

Once the batons were lightened and balanced, the weaker sex could finally lift them into the air with her small muscles. Short skirts and high-stepping routines assured that males would watch as they pranced. These guys don’t seem to mind the view.

By 1940, men were resigned to the back row. But why are their hats so tall? Did they store their lunches in them? A Frenchman could hide both a baguette and a bottle of merlot in there. I find them oddly reminiscent of the minions of the Wicked Witch of the West.

Rolling Pin Discipline

Splendor In The Raked Leaves

Is he wearing two button-down shirts, one right over the other?

Ready For Winter

Another triple digit day, week, and month here in the Lone Star State with zero precipitation and not a chance of rain as far as the eye can see. I can’t wait until the temps drop down to 95 and we ladies can wear just one brassiere per day. You try walking a dog/doing dishes/trimming hedges at 8am and see if your bra doesn’t wind up ready to wring out by 9am. October can’t get here too fast!

Winner Of Ugliest Font Contest

If I were a few decades older, had a poodle dog blue-tint permanent, cats-eye glasses, and support hose, I would jump up and yell, “Bingo!” because this font is hideous. By golly, this font is downright repellent, like a Gwyneth Paltrow quote or Kevin Smith himself.

Indeed, the letters themselves appear to be wearing bellbottoms, or be suffering from pedal edema. As close as I can find, it looks like the Karloff Negative font, but my research was minimal. It would make sense, however, as Borlis Karloff was known for his horror movie roles, and this is horrific. Gee, this font looks horrific.

The 1971 catalog itself however, is the bomb. The cat’s meow. The bee’s knees.

Who can resist the poor man’s James Garner, wearing his not-a-wedding-ring and sporting a polyester/rayon blend? Do you see that “brown stripe” sample? That is legit cloth. I’m touching it. It has the feel of a fine silk blend.

Yep, this catalog, preserved for four decades in a midwest basement, is in excellent condition, with a crisp mint green envelope inside.All you had to do was affix a SIX CENT stamp, until May of that year, when they jumped up to an atrocious eight cents. You, too, could order tailored clothing.

Prior to the convenience of online shopping, all you had to do was pick your fabric, have your wife measure you, and send in your check. Easy-peasy, right?

To complete the look, black Roy Orbison-inspired prescription sunglasses are suggested. P.S. Roy Orbison was not blind.