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Lock And Load
Trivia tidbit: The first recorded use of the phrase “lock and load” is in the John Wayne film, Sands of Iwo Jima film: twice as a metaphor for “get ready to fight” and once as a humorous invitation to drink alcohol/get loaded. (source: wikipedia)
Out & About In Oxford, Ohio 1949, Part II
Out & About In Oxford, Ohio 1949, Part I
Delicious Brick Oven Pizza
Yesterday, after church, we were saying goodbye to one of our token old people, asking about his latest stent implantation and his knees, sharing about the pizza buffet we’d visited the day before, to which he scrunched up his nose. He nearly shivered with disgust, the way I do when I hear that Kevin Smith will be a guest on tonight’s late-night talk shows.
You see, our septuagenarian hates dairy. He’s not even lactose-intolerant. He just doesn’t like cheese. Even though there are a bajillion cheeses in this world–creamy, melty, full-fat cheeses, he doesn’t cotton to them. And that pretty much rules out a ton of mealtime options. Including pizza. I don’t get it. I’ll eat pretty much any flavor of pizza, thin ‘n’ crispy or deep dish, and I’ll eat it cold for breakfast the next morning. Throw an egg on it, I don’t care.
So even though he’s not right in the head, bless his heart, we love him anyway–misguided opinions and all. I understand why he’s so grumpy all the time now. Life without cheese is no life at all.
Oh, and P.S.–that first image isn’t a brick oven at all. It’s a glass factory about 100 years ago, with some child labor thrown in for fun. I’m sure that standing all day on bricks and breathing in that stagnant air made for a long work shift. I bet those boys wouldn’t be prat enough to turn down some cheese.
I’ll Take A Pass On Sports, Thanks
The Good Lord would have made us heels over head if he’d intended such nonsense on a balance beam.
No, I didn’t turn the picture. You can see the janitor behind him, wondering why any man in his right mind would want to be perpendicular to a pole when he could just push a broom like a normal person.
And these guys look super-psyched about this helmet.
Sports make you hot and sweaty. Even the coach looks hot, and he’s not even playing. Sports gave him crow’s feet.
Even cheering is tedious. These young cheerleaders look exhausted, trying to count 2-4-6-8.
This might be the only sport I’d try, because of the cute suits. But not if my hair got wet. Or there was pee in the pool. Nevermind, forget it.
When My Husband Hears Lowe’s Is Having A Sale
I have to hold him back, or he’ll spend his entire paycheck there.
“The only thing better than singing is more singing.” — Aretha Franklin
My singing voice is somewhere between a drunken apology and a plumbing problem. – Colin Firth (www.brainyquote.com)
Some of the wise boys who say my music is loud, blatant and that’s all should see the faces of the kids who have driven a hundred miles through the snow to see the band… to stand in front of the bandstand in an ecstasy all their own. –
Stan Kenton
Only Men Wear The Pants
That’s A Big Fat Nope
Hindu women in Shirala, India bow before a “Nalla Pambu” (good snake), a symbol of fertility. Call it what you will, but no snake is a good snake to me. I don’t care if it eats rats. I’ll take rats over venomous snakes any day. Per wikipedia,
The Indian cobra’s venom mainly contains a powerful post-synaptic neurotoxin and cardiotoxin. The venom acts on the synaptic gaps of the nerves, thereby paralyzing muscles, and in severe bites leading to respiratory failure or cardiac arrest.
Good snake, my butt. That snake doesn’t give life; it takes it.
Look, ladies, I feel you on the infertility front. I’ve jabbed needles of Ovidrel in my belly, popped Clomid, and spent hours at the fertility clinic while they spin out the wonky husband samples to find the best and brightest swimmers. More than once. It was expensive and unsuccessful, and it can destroy a marriage. I’ve tried nearly everything under the sun. But never never would I get on my knees, prostrate and in striking range of a cobra.
I Don't Get It 