Category: Pics

Black Hawk Down, Part I

Or should I say “brown ostrich down”?

Elgin - Flowers 039

First, he was upright, pecking away at the dirt.

Elgin - Flowers 035And then he dropped to his feathery torso, like an adolescent at a 1964 Beatles concert. I thought he’d go unconscious, but nope–he kept pecking while prostrate. Oh, that’s a better title for this post: Pecking While Prostrate. 

Elgin - Flowers 036

I’ve eaten in several positions in my lifetime: sitting, walking, in a car (furiously pounding Sonic tater tots as dinner before a meeting), even eating nachos and Hot Tamale candies while rollerskating, but never while lying down on my belly, face to the ground. Perhaps he was “playing possum” to hide from a predator, but I hardly think that precious boy proves an imposing predator.

Only he knows for sure.

Elgin - Flowers 047Join us for Part II, as we learn more about this hideous-looking feathered beast.

 

Politically Incorrect Yearbook Comics 1949

This is all in good fun, but folks would cry “domestic abuse” in this day and age.

49Comet007When I think of Mary Wana, I think of hippies, not high school students in 1949. My bad.
49Comet005Fun with intentional homicide!49Comet006Uh-oh, bestiality!49Comet004 Mental illness was a laughing matter.

49Comet011

Hints of polygamy…

49Comet008And the grand finale of I-Don’t-Get-Itness…a bowlegged sheriff fondling a cactus made of student’s heads, as a vulture flies overhead. Because that’s normal.

49Comet009

 

My Precious

Mary Catherine Beck

Never come between a varsity cheerleader and her megaphone, or she may go all Miss Piggy karate-chop on

62Bronco013Hi-ya!

http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Miss_Piggy's_karate_chops
http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Miss_Piggy’s_karate_chops

 

Coots Gettin’ Rowdy Up In Here, Up In Here

78TWU008

This pic might cause Ned to release the squirrel, because only Heaven knows what’s got Granny so riled up. Whatever it is, the woman behind her is not keen on it continuing. Did she find the Willy Wonka golden ticket? Is that her bus pass? Perhaps it’s a not-so-silent auction or a Tupperware bidding war? Shouldn’t they all be playing bingo? And what on earth is Rose Marie doing there?

http://projects.latimes.com/
http://projects.latimes.com/

By the way, you guys–did you know Rose Marie is still alive and kicking at 90? She’s older than Dick Van Dyke! Why does he get all the press? That is not very chim chim cheree.

May The Force MD Be With You

A conversation with Sandra led me down the long and winding road to this awesomely bewitching video for “Tender Love.” How had I never seen it?

You don’t have to be familiar with this slow jam by Force MD (one of Pres Obama’s favorite bands) to appreciate all of its levels of 80s gloriousness. Let me break it down in fifteen easy steps. I promise it’s better than “Key Largo.” No, I can’t promise that.

  1. A lone man sits on a stoop with what appears to be swaddling clothes in his lap. Or it might just be a sweatshirt.
  2. A group of stylish young men (in various stages of mulleted Soul Glo hair growth) gather at the foot of a brownstone. Any moment now, Theo Huxtable will pop out of the front door, wearing a shirt sewn by sister Denise.
  3. Suddenly, Rerun from What’s Happening? (who has clearly just left a Jenny Craig meeting) quiets them down–by the power of his index finger, combined with the metallic glow of his F necklace. rerun
  4. He begins to conduct them as he would an orchestra, and they fall into place, snapping and swaying, with a combination of karate moves and sign language that bring to mind a poor-man’s Temptation.
  5. Already I’m in Cosby Show cardigan overload. The graphic prints just make it all the worse.
  6. Oh, no! What’s that? Did they piss a white lady off? No, it’s Rosie Perez, and she stole Nancy Reagan’s blazer. Alert the Secret Service!
  7. They form a soul train toward the window to serenade her, with a bright yellow blazer bringing up the caboose. Now it’s full-on Motown moves and emoting with great fervor.
  8. The lead singer goes into his falsetto, which launches black-and-white cardigan man into his signature “rope-pulling Marcel Marceau” move.
  9. The effect this has on Rosie Perez is not only calming, but seems to be sending her into some Lunesta haze. She inhales while curtains flap in the breeze like a Summer’s Eve commercial.
  10. Doo-wop moves ensue. Suddenly, she smiles, revitalized, looking nothing like Rosie Perez. Her skin is cafe au lait, and so smooth. She must be a Noxzema model.
  11. What’s that? J.J. from Good Times walks up the stairs with Penny. Seems so random.
  12. Then they gather in a campfire circle and sing “la la la la” with more air-snapping and high-fiving, congratulating themselves that the song is halfway over.
  13. They all make fists and bring them down, a precursor to the Billy Blanks Tao-Bo upper-cut.
  14. The Noxzema model is unimpressed, and retires to the bedroom, as the blinding yellow from the chunky one’s ensemble has seared her retinas.
  15. They disband. Yellow blazer departs in search of a bolo tie to complete his look, leaving skinny Rerun behind. Forlorn. Waiting on Rosie. You’ll be waiting forever, son. She’s gone. She’s gone. Just ask Hall and Oates.