Funny – Page 34 – I Don't Get It

And Santa Shall Find The Babe Wrapped In Swaddling Clothes, Lying In A Manger

Wait. What?

When Overpriced Shoes Only Remind You Of Delicious Tex-Mex

The advertisers may try to bring your eye to their “geometric touches,” but those zigzag white sandal straps put me in mind of the sour cream flourishes on a Chuy’s Tex-Mex platter.

All this can be yours for just over $10. The shoes? Just over a grand. Which would you prefer?

Beautiful, Beautiful Nicotina

Crafty Bill Hardesty knows that roses won’t cut it when you’re bestowing a gift upon Elizabeth Greer, aka “Nicotina, Queen of the Tobacco Festival” in Maryland. I seriously did not make that up. Instead, he comes bearing “five hands” of choice, air-cured Maryland tobacco, the secret to long life and prosperity.

Sustain This

Gas Shortages To Blame As Well-Dressed Bus Tourists Take To The Roof

In tandem with today’s other Andorra post, I share with you an Andorran coach, which visited three countries in 30 miles. Thirty miles, that’s precious. That’s like half a commute to work. Anyway, these folks were celebrating Patron Saint’s Day by driving up nauseatingly curvy dirt roads and then getting out and cavorting about in the heat. Fun!

Yet Again, Man Risks Staining Perfectly Good Linens

While I can appreciate wanting to avoid unclean wine glasses–especially those still marked with lipstick from a previous drinker’s pout, that the busboy clearly overlooked–I cannot condone such risky business as this. Imagine drinking red wine from a Catalan porron!

But such are the ways of those from Andorra, a l’il, independent principality situated between France and Spain in the Pyrenees mountains. And no, I’ll never go there because money. Only 86K people live there. In my terms, it would take 11 Andorran populations to match the size of nearby Austin.

Maybe there’s something in the breeze that makes them peculiar in their oral fixations.

This souvenir cigar is two feet long, rolled at Sant Julia to sale for tourists to snatch up. It does seem burdensome to light, especially for certain people I know with little T-rex arms. Wouldn’t you get sick of puffing on this after awhile? And where on earth would you set it down? In the world’s largest ashtray? Certainly not in your pocket.