Category: Funny

This Guy

Today, I have three new Antique Mall photographs of indeterminate origin–no dates, no locations, no nada. But how could I pass up this guy with his Gomer Pyle eagerness? And, oh, how he is bookended! Evidently, they offered secret trial silicone lip injections in the 60s…

In the upper left reflection, you’d swear he was the living LBJ himself!

I can’t hazard a guess as to what this second image is, although I doubt it was a Communist Party or Black Panther meeting. Nicely crossed hands and legs on the taller one. 

And this last one, I bought just for the lass on the left. Such chutzpah to don white glasses! What a Kanye move! Don’t you suppose the two in the middle are related, whatwith their hopeful eyebrows? 

When I Pass Someone Wearing White Diamonds

experimental-transmitter-and-receiver-for-armed-forces-helmet-army (teamjimmyjoe.com)

I know, I know–a lot of Baby Boomers love them some White Diamonds. There’s just something about the scent that makes me cringe. I could be innocently shopping at TJ Maxx or standing in line for coffee at church, and then WHOOSH! the stench of White Diamonds infiltrates my personal space and sticks to my clothes and hair, and nine hours later, there it is, wafting on the wind as I try to snack on cashews or flip through Southern Living magazines. It is in-escapable.

People often say the first thing they notice about Oprah is how great she smells, but you never hear anyone saying that about Liz Taylor. Why? No, not because she’s dead. White Diamonds, friends. White Diamonds.

CricketKitty wrote on http://www.basenotes.net:

I really wanted to like this fragrance out of respect for Liz Taylor, but try as I might, I couldn’t. I occasionally got whiffs of coconut, but it’s not listed in the notes. The rest of it is plastic and screechy synthetic notes.

Nukapai said:

This perfume has the odour of an old wig that’s been in heavy use, perfumed, powdered and seldom washed.

Debbie R. agreed:

This is one of the most vile fragrances ever created. Harsh, shrill and cheap-smelling. It’s for someone pretending to have money. 

I see I am not alone in my assessment.

giphy.com

 

Orangutan Takes Olympic Gold In Gymnastics

media1.britannica.com

No doubt about it. Orangutans are flexible. Even the wee ones.

http://www.livescience.com

And though they are stronger than humans (especially in their arms), they are not invincible.

redapes.org

Laid up on the table, this orangutan looks amazingly human, while vet staff takes out air rifle pellets in his body put there by Sumatran villagers. However, let’s remember that while humans and apes are 97% genetically identical, humans and bananas are 60% genetically identical.

Check out the cheek pads on this Bornean orangutan.

http://www.aboutanimals.com

Pretty intimidating, no? But not all orangutans are this serious. These residents of the Rio Zoo enjoyed a Christmas basket of fruit.

http://www.mnn.com

Did I mention they like fruit?

https://reposti.com

I’ll leave you with these fun .gifs, all from giphy.com.

I Can’t Wait Till Summer So Overdressed Older People Can Gawk At Me

Well, what do have we here? It seems as though Mom and Dad have just returned from Sunday services, and Margie (who surely attended as well) quickly changed into … why, YES, it IS a teenie, weenie, yellow polka-dot bikini (the song actually came out 10 years after this picture) and is testing the pool water. But doesn’t it seem odd that Dad hasn’t at least loosened his tie since returning home? Mom didn’t pause to take her gloves off and set them on the counter? It’s such a strange juxtaposition. Can’t her parents swim? Dad is either so full of pride at the amazing back dive Margie has in store or he’s stabilizing himself from holding that heavy camera. Come on, Margie! You can do it!

That Trashy Joanne Keeps Ashing On The Floor

She thinks she’s doing it on the DL, but these Rotary Club ladies weren’t born yesterday.

Paulette smells a skunk, but leaves those lips pursed and those hands clasped. No worries, Paulette. That halter dress and necklace are FAB-U-LOUS!

And don’t think Eileen is fooled either. That side-eye says everything. Nobody smokes Viceroys anymore, Joanne. That is so basic.

pearlslook.jpg

Independence Dames

This image is another score from the Antiques Mall last weekend. All it said was “Galveston,” so that doesn’t give me much information. The clothes looks 70s, so I’ll hazard a guess of 1974, based on the eyeglasses. Of course, one can’t fully enjoy all 22 ladies unless you can zoom in.

Right off, I can see that three ladies have their eye closed, and the one at the table seems to be silently saying, “This, too, shall pass.” The three right rear clearly purchased their specs at Lens Crafters on discount (and probably busk doing Andrews Sisters covers at dusk).

And how about the shade the left rear is throwing to her friends? Like Barney Fife, she wants to nip it in the bud. The lady with flowers on her collarbone looks like the Virgin Mary, resigned to sadness. Not my will, but Yours be done. And how about Peach Suit, warmly putting her hand on her friend’s shoulder? I think she’s gauging the pin curls of her perm. Come to think of it, if it WERE the 4th of July, wouldn’t they all be wearing red, white, and blue?