Students Happier When Pluto Was Indeed A Planet
Category: Vintage
When Lawrence Welk Was Pimp
“A-one, an-a-two, and a-seven.” Such was his catchphrase. At least the first part. Here is Welk surrounded by seven lovely ladies in an array of Skittles colors. This ain’t no accordion solo.
Those of you who are over 60 have seen many decades, and you know that 60 is a lot of years. Can you imagine being married for 61 years? Well, Lawrence Welk was, to his wife Fern, from the Depression to the year we voted Clinton president. No scandalous stories of adultery there. In fact, the host of The Lawrence Welk Show actually fired one of his “Champagne Ladies” for showing too much leg. Did you know that his California Model A Ford license plate read “A1ANA2”? Wunnerful, wunnerful.
Let’s All Go To The Lobby
Some of you may be geriatric mature enough to recall these ads:
Blow, Daddy, Blow
Those Magic Changes
One Two Three O’Clock, Four O’Clock, Books
Blustery Day
Have A Rootin’ Tootin’ Halloween
Zombie Librarians Of The Apocalypse
Must…update…entries in…card catalog.
High School Halloween 1955
Outside The Tastee-Freez
(next line please)
Because That’s How Sexy People Pose
If Pink suddenly developed a Madonna-esque Material Girl fixation with Marilyn Monroe, rushed out to the closest Supercuts for a bad bleach job and an even worse perm, lamented her decision and (in lieu of shaving it all off a la Britney Spears) drank the regret away with Fireball Whisky, jumped aboard a casino boat and (while at the buffet) stole several of their fiesta-themed napkins and fashioned them into a bikini, then (like Natalie Wood) “fell” off the boat and wound up ashore at dawn with a beast of a hangover, briefly considered an alternate career as a driftwood artist, and decided that her first good decision of the day would be to seductively climb aboard a plywood crate, sucking in that tummy–it would look like this.
I Don't Get It 