Parasol Fit For A Queen

Queen Mary visiting The Empire Exhibition at Wembley 1924
Queen Mary visiting The Empire Exhibition at Wembley 1924

Before there was Her Majesty The Queen, there was Mary of Teck, strolling in the shade of the world’s largest tassled umbrella. Today’s umbrella-holders aren’t just reserved for royalty.

http://jadeafrican.com/
http://jadeafrican.com/

In this pre-“Happy” days pic from October 2013, Pharrell Williams  is flanked by what looks to be a character from the extinct TV show JAG, along with a tipsy poor man’s Cameron Diaz. It’s all too reminiscent of bare-chested Puffy/P.Diddy’s manservant back in the day.

http://www.standard.co.uk/
http://www.standard.co.uk/

Per www.standard.co.uk, Fonzworth Bentley, former ‘gentleman’s gentleman’ (the Jeevesian term he favoured) to US rapper Sean ‘Puffy’ Combs, was obliged to follow his master with a parasol in hot weather. On one occasion, he had to jump straight back on a flight to the States from the Côte d’Azur after neglecting to bring the rapper’s chosen ties.

If you have the funds to send your butler on a flight to retrieve a specific set of ties, you might not have your priorities in order. Just think what good those funds could do elsewhere (homeless shelters, St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital, etc) if only Diddy could grip his own hook. It makes one wonder if Fonzworth buttoned that one button on Diddy’s shirt for him as well.

Moving on, we see POTUS has his own minion to shelter him from dastardly precip. Not exactly doing a spot-on job.

http://forums.floridasportsman.com/
http://forums.floridasportsman.com/

I don’t get it. Does it make you feel powerful to pay someone to perform menial tasks? Look at me; I came from nothing and now I have a butler. Or is it more like, Daddy didn’t pay attention to me, so by golly, I’ll show him? News flash: A lot of daddies don’t pay attention. Imperfect people make for a crumbling world. But your self-worth should not be tied to the extent of excess you’re willing to indulge.

And as Snoop Dogg shows us, flaunting one’s wealth is a key part of rap culture. It may be a shift from in-your-face gold chains and gold teeth, but it’s hardly discreet, an unfortunate show of extravagance. All I see is a little boy, trying to prove his value. But value will never equal money.

http://talkrational.org/
http://talkrational.org/

Blossom Or Sue Heck?

Cactus41-019
When I discovered this shot of happy teens playing some version of Alsatian Red Rover, I couldn’t decide if the lass in stripes and updo was Blossom/The Big Bag Theory‘s Mayim Bialik

http://www.imdb.com/
http://www.imdb.com/

or The Middle’s Eden Sher.

http://beautyhigh.com/
http://beautyhigh.com/

What do you think?

 

Judd Nelson Stunned By 30th Anniversary of Breakfast Club

Tx Aggie 1990 by Phelan Ebenhack
anonymous Texas Aggie 1990 by Phelan Ebenhack

Can 30 years have already passed since the release of The Breakfast Club? Star Molly Ringwald is working the morning talk show circuit today, but where is the boy she winds up kissing at the end? Don’t you forget about him, Molly.

http://giphy.com/
http://giphy.com/

John Travolta And Violating Personal Space

UT Austin 1978
UT Austin 1978

You are not allowed to do this.  You are not John Travolta, and chances are high that you will never caress neither Idina Menzel nor Scarlett Johansson, as he did last Sunday at the Oscars.

Despite the allegiance to Scientology, gay rumors, and alleged hairpiece, he is still John Tra-freaking-volta. These weird antics do not negate his Travolta-ness. Did you ever welcome back Mr. Kotter? Heck to the no. Were you ever in a plastic bubble? I think not. You are not leather-jacketed commitment-phobic Danny Zuko driving Greased Lightning. You were never white-suited disco-dancing emotionally immature Tony Manero. You never could turn that beat around.

So don’t even try getting in on some double Kanye action.

https://www.yahoo.com/style
https://www.yahoo.com/style

That is best left to Vinnie Barbarino himself.

I say let the Travolta hairline recede and swell like the rising tides. Let him proposition his masseuse. Let him pilot planes into Neverland. Let the crazy roll in and roll out.

Brother, you were J.T. before Timberlake stole your title. Steal it back like he brought sexy back! Talk your crazy L. Ron Hubbard talk with that eerie contented smile that Tom Cruise shares. Like nothing gets you down. Press your puffy senior digits into pretty girls’ faces half your age. I don’t care. You be you. But us regular folks cannot follow suit.

Now, readers, do not despair. This you can do.

Cactus78-044

Arms around your Allman brother buddies, celebrating and thumbs-upping. Go for it.

But charging through a stranger’s comfort zone to decorate him with blinking lights like Helen Keller on a Douglas Fir, no, sir. This is strictly Travolta territory. Do not try this at home.

Cactus78-040

Jerry O’Connell: Up-To-Date On Immunizations

Schreiner67-016
some dude in 1967, before Jerry was born

Oh, come on. You remember Jerry. The kid with the buzz cut in Stand By Me.

tumblr
tumblr

In that pic, he actually looks pretty fit by today’s standards. It was probably just those horizontal stripes that gave him swell factor. Anyhoo, he’s all growed up now, just turned 41 last Tuesday, with full, dark eyebrows that make him look like an angry Thundercat.

https://bookstvme.wordpress.com/category/blog/
https://bookstvme.wordpress.com/category/blog/

He and former model Rebecca Romijn have twin girls with smile-inducing names: Dolly Rebecca Rose and Charlie Tamara Tulip, named after Ms. Parton and Jerry’s nearly-identical brother, respectively. How cute are they?

http://hollywoodlife.com/2010/11/11/jerry-oconnell-no-more-kids/
http://hollywoodlife.com/2010/11/11/jerry-oconnell-no-more-kids/

Although Jerry and Rebecca were married in 2007, she told Conan O’Brien that she was “too lazy to go to the DMV” to change her current legal name of “Romijn-Stamos” on her driver’s license, from her prior marriage to Full House‘s Uncle Jesse. Here they are with part of Judy Garland’s daughter’s boob.

http://3d-pictures.picphotos.net/
http://3d-pictures.picphotos.net/

Honestly, Rebecca–it’s been nearly 8 years. That’s one of my pet peeves, people not changing their drivers’ license information asap. I hit the DMV the day I got back from my honeymoon. Gotta sever those strings, honey. Even to a hunky half-Grecian.

http://wifflegif.com/tags/135607-rebecca-romijn-gifs
http://wifflegif.com/tags/135607-rebecca-romijn-gifs

Louie Anderson Follows Jenner’s Lead, Begins Transformation

Tx Women's Univ 1978
Tx Women’s Univ 1978

Nope? Doesn’t look like Anderson to you?

Maybe this will help.

louie-anderson-1989-glasses

Just kidding, Louie. We still love you.

http://www.nndb.com/
http://www.nndb.com/

Montgomery Clift Double Vision

twins 1956
Pitahaya Yearbook 1956

Methinks these high school twins could pass for young Clift body doubles, especially the one in the bolo tie. For those not familiar with Clift, he was a Method actor in the 1950s and 60s, starring in films such as The Misfits with Marilyn Monroe and Clark Gable, in their last screen roles. Clift himself would die five years after the movie’s release.

clift

Despite the aquiline nose and caterpillar eyebrows, Clift was a good-looking man. Too pretty, in fact. If the charms of the luscious Liz Taylor couldn’t challenge his sexuality, I guess no one could.

http://www.thisisnotporn.net/tag/elizabeth-taylor/
http://www.thisisnotporn.net/tag/elizabeth-taylor/

Because dang–look at her.

When Your Cat Hates You

LifeFeb41-056To be fair, all cats hate you. The contempt is thinly-veiled. For those of you unfamiliar with the wide-eyed Brazil nut pictured here, it’s Carmen Miranda, aka The Chiquita Banana Lady. And wide-eyed she was!

She may have danced her way to fame with a pile of fruit atop her head, much to the chagrin of Latin nations who felt stereotyped, but she had the last laugh. By 1945, she earned more than $200,000 (over $2 million in today’s money), becoming Hollywood’s highest-paid entertainer.

Numero uno, y’all!

http://retro-vintage-photography.blogspot.com/
http://retro-vintage-photography.blogspot.com

She must have had fabulous posture and core control to forever be balancing colorful edible headgear and bearing the burden of 27 lbs of heavy metal accessories. No pain, no gain.

tumblr
tumblr

In August of 1955, Miranda was shooting a a song and dance number for the The Jimmy Durante Show when she fell to one knee. Out of breath, she finished the segment and went home. The next morning, Miranda died from a heart attack at her home in Beverly Hills. She was only 46.

www.silverscreenoasis.com
http://www.silverscreenoasis.com

To see her sing and samba, catch this 1943 clip of her in “The Lady in the Tutti-Frutti Hat.”