John Travolta And Violating Personal Space

UT Austin 1978
UT Austin 1978

You are not allowed to do this.  You are not John Travolta, and chances are high that you will never caress neither Idina Menzel nor Scarlett Johansson, as he did last Sunday at the Oscars.

Despite the allegiance to Scientology, gay rumors, and alleged hairpiece, he is still John Tra-freaking-volta. These weird antics do not negate his Travolta-ness. Did you ever welcome back Mr. Kotter? Heck to the no. Were you ever in a plastic bubble? I think not. You are not leather-jacketed commitment-phobic Danny Zuko driving Greased Lightning. You were never white-suited disco-dancing emotionally immature Tony Manero. You never could turn that beat around.

So don’t even try getting in on some double Kanye action.

https://www.yahoo.com/style
https://www.yahoo.com/style

That is best left to Vinnie Barbarino himself.

I say let the Travolta hairline recede and swell like the rising tides. Let him proposition his masseuse. Let him pilot planes into Neverland. Let the crazy roll in and roll out.

Brother, you were J.T. before Timberlake stole your title. Steal it back like he brought sexy back! Talk your crazy L. Ron Hubbard talk with that eerie contented smile that Tom Cruise shares. Like nothing gets you down. Press your puffy senior digits into pretty girls’ faces half your age. I don’t care. You be you. But us regular folks cannot follow suit.

Now, readers, do not despair. This you can do.

Cactus78-044

Arms around your Allman brother buddies, celebrating and thumbs-upping. Go for it.

But charging through a stranger’s comfort zone to decorate him with blinking lights like Helen Keller on a Douglas Fir, no, sir. This is strictly Travolta territory. Do not try this at home.

Cactus78-040

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14 comments

  1. That first guy looks like one the cut rate faith healers who pulls Satan out of the sinners by rapidly pulling his hands away from their noggins whilst screaming “Out!”. I saw one of them on late night TV once and it was pretty good theater. Not as good as the dude who danced with the rattle snakes or the lady whose chihuahua picked Bible verses, but not bad.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I thought they finished it off with hitting them on the forehead like they could have had a V-8 and making them fall backwards. Or am I confusing that with making the lame walk? So hard to keep the preying folks straight.

      Like

  2. Wow and Gee Whiz. Girl that was a rant for the ages. I gather you are a Travolta Fan. I wasn’t ever a big fan of Kotter; his return or Vinny. I have seen a bunch of his movies. Battlefield Earth being my fave. So I guess I must say he is an all right dude. But that picture of Kanye and his “buddy”. Now that I don’t get.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I dearly do not want the original J.T. to further damage those golden movie memories you mention so eloquently and craftily above, Kerbey. But, yeesh. Somebody has to play him the old Georgia Satellites hit. “Don’t give me no lines, and keep your hands to yourself.” (Exploited recently in the father-daughter TV commercial.) Left to his own Hubbardness, no limits to what crazy could come next.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. fun read–would make a great SNL skit. He is John Travolta, yes. But he looks so plastic. ??? Funny how the cool kids of yesteryear didn’t age so gracefully–Monsieur Travolta, Michael Jackson are two.

    Liked by 1 person

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