Freckled marionette Howdy Doody was kind of a big deal at the onset of the 50s, so it was no surprise that LIFE magazine hosted a lookalike contest. 
Wondering what galluses were? A pair of suspenders. Nobody says that now.
Poor kids. Surely George Ford grew into those ears. I imagine he never lived this article down. Pity.
The winner was five year old Billy Oltmann (Old Man at this point). Cute as a button in his bandana and western wear!
Time to celebrate his big win with Hostess Twinkies!
Y’all know I love proboscis monkeys.
Young ones and female ones have smaller noses.
But even a snub nose can frighten!
By the time a male reaches adulthood, he possesses quite the appendage.
It doesn’t slow him down.
In fact, scientists say that droopy snout actually is there to impress the ladies.
And to distract from stained, unseemly incisors.
Who could resist this alluring fellow?
Other options include:
and even a colorful understated hat for the menfolks
I may have conquered using apps on a smart phone or removing jams from testy copy machines, but the technology of yore frightens me. I don’t get it now, and I certainly wouldn’t have gotten in back in 1955, at the University of Colorado.
Nope. Too many wires.
Next up: isotopes. Haven’t talked about proton/neutron stuff since high school, and I’m not gonna start now.
She is clearly steering a cardboard ship, but I know not what the men do.
Too many black holes and knobs in the cube. It doesn’t even fit in my pocket.
Get a load of this jet engine compressor! I’d rather feed a porcupine.
And this last one takes the cake, with “nurse aids performing the pleasant task of hairbrushing for a paralytic.” Pleasant? That looks like a nightmare. 
Rapture, take me now.
I Don't Get It 