I Don't Get It

Car-Baby Convertible

What could possibly go wrong in this topless trunk, balancing on the back seat?

This next one looks like little more than cardboard and a strap.

If baby just wants to chill, baby can recline with an extra pillow and a lap belt.

You’d think the idea of “just turn it around” would create all kinds of neck injuries upon impact. I’ve never seen a car like this, so I guess the idea never took off.

Nope. Here’s the headline from a July 2015 article: Volvo Takes Kids’ Safety To New Heights, Showcases Customised XC90 SUV Featuring Innovative Baby Seat.

http://en.yibada.com/ — http://en.yibada.com (an awful site due to its onslaught of ads)

What do you think? Does this look safe for baby? What if Jumpsuit Barbie flings all 105 lbs of her waxed body into him at a hard stop? Would that be a good idea? And won’t Barbie be silently resenting her position, relegated to the back seat, second priority in Ken’s life? That’s got to mess with her psyche. I don’t see it happening, Volvo.

Friday Night Feeling

Tercentenary Eighty Years Ago

Eighty years old, and the map color is still so bright!

Juanita And Beulah: Bastions Of Proper Communication

Taster’s Choice

Abierto, Cerrado

Abierto

Cerrado

Looking at the hibiscus flowers this morning, I was reminded of the old Sesame Street sketch Abierto, Cerrado from the 1970s. What looks so shriveled and meh when it’s closed, becomes pink and gorgeous when it opens. I bet Maxwell the Dog has seen his share of hibiscus flowers. Eh, Max?

Okapis Have Zebra Thighs

Okapis are odd creatures. Like God reused zebra leg parts on them. Maybe that’s why their name sounds like “Oh, copy.”

I don’t know what this is, but it’s licking a pole. Maybe an antelope.

Licking a pole. I’m pretty sure that’s part of Miley’s latest cardio routine.

And you know what this is. Doesn’t his foot look uncomfortably contorted? Rhinoceros horns are made from a protein called keratin, the same substance used in my Suave hair treatment.

This thing getting right up in your face is a hyena. Reminds me of when Mufasa got right up in those young hyena’s faces in The Lion King. Don’t let their dingo-dogginess fool you. Death to hyenas!

Then there were some birds:

pink flamingos, which remind me of a Port Aransas souvenir t-shirt I scored in the 80s

whatever these are (maybe zebra birds)

and this duck, who seems to be saying to the turtle, “Zero bothers given.”

And that’s the last of the San Antonio Zoo pics. Now I have to go bake some brownies and clean off the back porch table so the boys can eat crispy beef tacos out there for dinner (we always have a 0% chance of rain, so no worries of precip) and take some Vitamin D supplements that won’t absorb in my body anyway and get the hub’s load of laundry out of the washer and into the dryer, and at some point get to the store to try out that Dr. Scholl’s foot assessment machine and see if their $50 insoles can help my heels feel better. Hope you have a good weekend!

Kangaroo Chillin’ In The Shade

Oh, it’s too hot, too hot, lady. Gotta run for shelter, gotta run for shade…

Yes, I realize lots of bloggers post zoo pics, but every zoo is different, and every animal’s face (or posture, as it were) reveals a different moment. These pics were all taken during the summer, so it was about first level of Hades hot at the San Antonio Zoo. And just so you know, we’re STILL IN THE 90s here in central Texas all week, and not a drop of rain in sight.

This monkey appears positively dazed. So was I, honey. So was I.

This jungle king was about to clean pass out. Who could blame him? A rock never looked so comfortable.

The alligator looks bulletproof, doesn’t he? Go ahead and take a shot at him. I need new boots.

Just kidding. I can’t afford new boots. Stay tuned for Zoo, Part II.

I Want To Hold Your Hand

Topless Ladies With Dice On Their Heads

I came across this gaming guide from a relative’s 1954 visit to Vegas. It had everything one would expect of a Saharan theme. Arab sheikh? Check. Sand and camels? Check. Hedy Lamarr in transparent veils? Check. But then it gets weird. Topless men and women carrying dice, cards, and roulette wheels? Is that what people in the Sahara desert look like?

Nope. The Tuareg are the principal inhabitants of the Saharan interior of North Africa, a nomadic, pastoral, Muslim people. They don’t look like that rendering at all. Their hair is much more fantastic.

Now are there women in Africa who go topless? Absolutely. Do they carry things on their heads? Sure. Do they have naked babies, carrying spears? Doubtful. I was reminded of the Louis CK SNL episode, wherein he discusses mild racism in his opening monologue. NBC has already shown it twice this year, which makes sense, as SNL evidently does five new shows per season and then shows reruns.

This Sahara ad, though, is more than mild. And redunkulous. I mean, how long can a woman hold a clock like that without her arms hurting? And that necklace would chafe.

And what about these fellows below, holding spears and shields? I just don’t see what this has to do with the Sahara. Veils I get. This I don’t. I imagine it’s offensive to many. But it also just looks odd.