License & Registration Please

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Memorial Day seems as fitting a day as ever to begin our weeklong (we’ll see about that) Texas Dept of Public Safety pictorial history retrospective, seeing as many officers lost their lives in the line of duty.  However, today’s focus is not on lost life, but on the superbadassness of the department from 1935-1980.  I realize this seems hyperspecialized, but these pics are a treasure trove of early law enforcement, as well as insight into the long-gone TWENTIETH CENTURY.  You will witness early outdated, inefficient ways of doing things, like searching for fingerprints by hand and how to confirm if someone is a doublecrossing liar.

prints&polygraphs

See how people used to communicate with typing thingies and wirey boxes.

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Experience the communications hub, the leader in advanced technology.

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You will meet important characters, like Pop and Paul!

Pop

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Shoot the breeze with Viola and Barbara, both fashioned from the hands of Jim Henson!

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And FYI, Mr. Curb is not about to take any crap from you today.

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So join me as we take a long stroll through the halls of public safety.  Drive safely!

1972: Year Of The Messed-Up World

From Pam to Renee in their 1972 yearbook:

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Actually, Renee, you may not have known it at the time, but it was gonna get a whole lot more messed-up.  Reference the 2013 gas prices.  What do you think Wayne Stevens would think about that?  He was pumping gas for a quarter a gallon.  A QUARTER PER GALLON!!!!!  Super duper indeed.

021But I get it.  It was high school.  Life wasn’t peachy keen.  Clearly, you had it in for Miss Toni.

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I have decades upon decades of yearbooks, but there is nary a HINT of profanity in any year until 1972, when the world went to hell.  Miss Toni must have liked one of the numerous boys whose name you underlined in red.  Was it Steve?  It was Steve, wasn’t it?  This is all so very Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.

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Big deal.  Take a chance on Leslie.  His hair swoops majestically like an eagle over a canyon.  Plus, he has that Taylor Lautner hammerhead shark forehead that the tweens like so much.

And hey, if you’re still bitter, shove her in a fridge, like your peers did to poor Vickie.  I think we finally found a job for the Maytag repairman.

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Gracious, Renee!  What was your problem?  I just found another girl whom you evidently perceived as the dark lord, horns and all.

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Honestly, I’m more concerned with Sandy, who seems to be melting right off the paper.

You just need to chill out in a new Pinto, car of the future.

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Or take some barbiturates–I know they sold them then.  Ask these two classmates.  They should know where to score some.

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Or hang out with the annual staffers; they know how to have fun.  Buy the world a Coke and keep it company.  And rock that tie, girl.

031And hey, if that doesn’t work, you can always pledge Zeta Phi.

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Yucca Part Deux

012All hail Nikki Hendricks, the North Texas 1946 Football Queen.  Watch her ride “in royal splendor.”  I think we both know which one is Nikki and which one wishes she were Nikki.

013And here is a rare shot of Tina Fey’s grandmother, Dude Neville McCloud.  That’s what it says, folks.  Click to enlarge if you don’t believe.

news serviceNote the publicity staff “during a busy hour.”  Mercy, how bustling.  The supervisor checks for typing errors while one girl evidently knits and glares.

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Below is the W.R.A. tumbling team.  One of the support gals in the middle appears to have sprained her eye.

014Hey, remember Time & Temperature?

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Oh, how I wish I could have been a Trojan’s date to the Sadie Hawkins Dance.  The one with the eyebrows, sitting on the haystack.

016Let’s end with this portrait of the Baptist Student Union Council.

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Just take a moment to really absorb the Doublemint Twins in the front row,  Yes, F. Day and J. Day.  Perhaps it was in honor of D-Day and VJ-Day?   You can see the disdain all over F. Day’s face.  But J. Day.  Oh, J. Day.  She looks like she smelled a fart.

Now look to J. Day’s left.  Another set of twins!  Dang, Baptists!  Way to be fruitful and multiply.  Janel and Janet Barr.  I know, super creative, right?  You just KNOW people rhymed her name with “channel” instead of the exoticish J’Nelle. That’s why Janel is fidgeting with her fingers. In the twin crapshoot, she got the bad name.   And Janet is so over this.  She threw off her jacket in a fit of rage only moments before the shoot.  She’s all Oh, yes, please let me dress in identical clothing like those damn Day hussies.  Like we’re toddlers.  As if.  Can’t people SEE we’re fraternal?  Look at her.  I bet she wasn’t Baptist for long.

The 1947 Yucca, Part I

Today we’re going back to 1947, to a post-war era at North Texas State University, when women looked like the Andrews Sisters and frat boys took preventative measures against osteoporosis.

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I love the pretty print dresses on these ladies.

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Even just one row from the yearbook can reveal a lot.

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Let’s hope for his sake, that “Dwyane” was misspelled.  But check out his two-tiered locks.  And what about John’s tousled look?  Sexy.  I’m certain he knows his way around a tractor. And Fred’s sharp threads are pretty snappy.  I’m afraid these ladies’ names have gone by the wayside.  Any preschools catering to Margie, Betty, or Ada Jo these days?

Yes, Virginia, there was life before iPods and iPads.  Youth culture existed free from technology.  Before Supercuts and Starbucks, there were barber shops and coffee shops.  Look at that TEENSY coffee cup!  No blue tooth in sight.  People were actually looking UP.

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Such was life in “Collegetown.”  Stay tuned for Part II!

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Does That Star-Spangled Banner Yet Wave?

Flag019Every adult American remembers where he or she was on 9/11.  What you may not recall is that the following Friday was deemed a day of patriotism, and citizens were encouraged to wear their red, white, and blue to show support for all who had perished in the attacks.  That day, I took my camera and two rolls (yes, rolls) of film and drove around the county, snapping photos of homes that had otherwise never flown flags in their yards, of cars and trucks and humans decorated in American colors, and it made my heart swell to see such pride.

It wasn’t a common enemy that we shared; it was the mutual sense of loss, that life as we knew it was over, and even the young ones who had never experienced a world war or the Cold War knew that the security we had always known was gone forever.  People who didn’t know us wanted to kill us on our own soil, and they didn’t mind losing their own lives in the process.  And we didn’t get it.  Who would serve a “god” that wanted  them to kill strangers?  And why kill innocent civilians instead of soldiers, prepared for war?  Who was the Taliban?  It was sick and evil, and so were the men who perpetrated it.

But on that day, the Walmart, the Tractor Supply–all stores big and small–sported flags. Now if you don’t live in America, you might think they always have flags up.  They don’t. That’s because Americans aren’t allowed to feel pride.  Every nation’s peoples should have the right to feel proud of the land where they were born.  But not us.  We’re supposed to feel guilty for every wrong ever perpetuated in the last two hundred years, nevermind any victory in a world war.  Nevermind that we donate billions in aid to other countries, including ones that despise us.  No, we’re not perfect, but our land is not full of hate, of people who seek to destroy other nations.  This is a land with a history of welcoming immigrants who have been persecuted by their own people.

But on that Friday, we didn’t have to apologize for being born American.  It was even permissible to have faith.

What I don’t get is how brief that period of patriotism lasted, how quickly people reverted to their own lives, how little unity meant.  No, these pictures aren’t World Trade Center passersby, covered in ash, and they aren’t pictures of planes plowing into buildings. They are just a window in time during that one week in a small town, where it was “allowable” to mention God, allowable to love the United States, and every soul felt the tangible sadness of the tragedy, from large home to small.

From barbeque marquis to cardboard signs…

from lamppost to balloon…

from lumber store to hardware store…

and of course, churches.

I spotted this woman in the Walmart parking lot.

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And as the sun set that day, I saw gratitude for all of our veterans, young and old, and Todd Beamer’s immortal words “let’s roll.”

Twelve years later, I still give thanks for freedom and for all our veterans.  It doesn’t matter if it’s Memorial Day or Veteran’s Day or the Fourth of July.  Or just plain old April 13th.  God bless America.

Tranny Shoes: A Likely Story

I did some more investigating about Einstein (to go with today’s earlier post), and discovered this site, ireport.cnn.com/docs, where Ron Rothman explains, “Some of you might be aware of the relationship between the great scientist, Albert Einstein and my grandfather, David Rothman…Some of you are aware of their initial meeting and how Einstein came into the store looking for ‘Sundials,’ in his thick German accent really asking for sandals. My Grandfather mistook his asking for sundials and took him out to the back yard to show him the only sundial he had, his. Upon realizing his mistake, they proceeded to go back to the store where Einstein bought a pair of sandals that my grandfather had on the shelf…

“As Einstein came in asking for the shoes and after the misunderstanding about what he wanted, he was taken into the store to find that the only pair left which would fit was a woman’s size 11. Between the combination of Einstein’s embarrassment about the sundial incident and my Grandfather’s enthusiasm to make a sale to the great scientist, Einstein bought these beach shoes with grace.”

Fine.  Whatever.  But how do you explain him reclining in these (do my eyes deceive me?) stilettos?

www.buzzfeed.com
http://www.buzzfeed.com

And, P.S. Einstein, you do not look remotely like Burt Reynolds did in the Cosmo centerfold.

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Sitting Pretty

Hey, Einstein, why are you wearing ladies’ sandals?  It’s the theory of RELATIVITY, not femininity.

www.retronaut.com
http://www.retronaut.com

And what about Marion Morrison, the butchest guy of all time?  The virtual paragon of manhood?  What is this get-up?  No, I won’t mess with The Duke.  After all, he said, “I don’t have to assert my virility. I think my career has shown that I’m not exactly a pantywaist.”

www.retronaut.com
http://www.retronaut.com

Okay, you two, you can keep your man cards.  But it takes a REAL man to sit patiently through this.

www.retronaut.com
http://www.retronaut.com

I hope he had a steady hand…

Senior Class Favorites

G072And that, my friends, is the difference between men and women.  Adrenaline delights one and strikes fear in the other.  Today’s post documents the Senior Class Favorites of the 1955 Pine Burr, selected “as tops in fun, sparkle, and friendship.”  Most yearbook pictures are taken on location at the high school, but evidently these favorites traveled off site.  Why, Jo Ann and Edward got suited up for a poolside session.  G074Perry and Pat went horse riding through what appears to be a swamp.

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Earl and Shirley were stuck riding pretend horses on a carousel, as though they were still young children.

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Thurston and Lovey Howell enjoyed an afternoon of boating.  Are these people really teenagers?

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Susie and Morris enjoyed a bicycle built for two.

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Barbara and Donald braved gusty winds to sit on the dock of the bay.  Or is that a bridge?  Look, Barbara, I’ll catch that catfish for you and fry it up for dinner with some hush puppies.  Won’t that be swell?  

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Miss Wheat is delighted that Mr. Turner parked next to her namesake.  Or are those plumes of feathered reed grass?  It may be Daddy’s car, but he’s got quite a grip at 10 and 2.

G080Our last picture is the Football Sweetheart.  Wait–isn’t that the same girl (with her name misspelled) wearing a polka dotted cape and sitting on a diving board earlier?  She gets around.  She’s a double favorite!

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My advice to you, Miss Yianitsas–marry one of those football players asap and shed that tragic maiden name.  Preferably Earl Wright.  It’s just one syllable!

Bugs And Stuff

Can anybody tell me what insect this is, hovering over my flowers right this second?  A black and yellow stripey thing should be a bumble bee, but this looks more like a moth with his antennae.  Any ideas?