Category: Pics

One Direction Changes Direction

Ventana52-011“There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the world, because you realize there’s so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on.”
― Zayn Malik

She Knows How To Use Them

http://noticierodiario.com.ar/
http://noticierodiario.com.ar/

Back in 2008, He Pingping and Svetlana Pankratova posed in Trafalgar Square in London for the Guinness Book Of Records. The world’s shortest man was just 29.37 inches tall, while her legs measured 51.96 inches. I would hope that he did not look up.

http://noticierodiario.com.ar/

Sadly, He passed away two years later at the age of 21. But Svetlana is going strong at age 43, proving what we’ve known since 1942–that giraffe legs can be sexy at any age.

Ad 1942
Ad 1942

Made In USA vs. Made In France

Today we study another page of our favorite condescending Parisian magazine, Réalités. Just saying it makes me feel pretentious. Réalités. Zee reality of ziss Frenchman sans shirt makes me gag.  But nice Studebaker!

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I like how they advertise that the Dyna Panhard (incidentally, the name of an exotic dancer at Austin’s Yellow Rose, a strip club which serves free steak/shrimp buffet on Fridays–that’s today!) will drive 80 mph and then show an image of it in a park. Do Parisians drive cars on sidewalks promenades? I am not familiar with these customs. That’s even more arrogant than American cyclists riding 25 mph in lanes made for cars driving 65 mph.

And how would you fit six passengers in that? Is it Sunday morning coming down for Simone? Is she lost, doing the drive of shame back to her appartement? Even in a car the size of a Ford Festiva, driving off-road with children and prams nearby seems unsafe. She could go barreling out of control and hurtle toward the pond. Girl, please! Oh, look–that’s what her license plate says. 1954, please!

 

In No Way Condescending

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Right off the bat, you can tell that this 1953 magazine is committed to the modest Parisian nature. The tagline implies: PRINTED IN (COMMONER’S) ENGLISH FOR YOU (AMERICAN IDIOTS FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE) IN PARIS. And don’t get me started on the little Arab genie proffering fruit to her highness in sage.

Inside, you will find a fair and fun article on Tibet, which supplies the worst drink in the world.

Realites-005I like the use of grocery in quotes. It makes it seem precious, like a toddler’s version of a real legit grocery, where adults make transactions while standing.

Next, you see a woman with a suspension bridge behind her. No, that’s a hat.

Realites-006The woman “at left” is this one, wearing a starfish on her head:

Realites-001Here we see a crew of caravaneers eating yak meat, which is forbidden in their religion, but who cares because they’re probably drunk on low-grade brick tea.

Realites-007You can just picture the disdain of the author dripping off his lips as he says, “Yaks and mules constitute the entire Tibetan transport system.” Why can’t they be civilized like us? Read on to find out.

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No sweeping generalizations here. Also, all Tibetan men are Capricorn.

 

Some Happy, Some Sad, Some Plotting Homicide

Ventana52-004This is what happens when they run out of Coca-Cola. A few gals are still teetering on the tail end of a sugar caffeine high, but the rest will cut you with a rusty prison shank.