Last night’s view near twilight was a sight to behold. I could hear Eddie Rabbit rise from the dead, singing, “Well, I love a rainy night, it’s such a beautiful sight…” Of course, folks around here have learned not to get our hopes up. We’ve been (literally) burned too many times to count, hopeful at the sight of darkening clouds and ominous thunder, only to watch it pass us by. While Al Roker chats gloats about rainstorms across the country, central Texas is essentially Penny from The Rescuers, constantly passed over by would-be adoptive parents. For years.
We’ve been in drought conditions for so long, it’s nearly time for Penny’s quinceañera (were she Hispanic, which would technically make her Centavo, and that doesn’t quite have the same ring to it).
But it DID rain last night, and I even went out and danced in it, prompted by fellow blogger, Liz, if only for a few seconds. P.S. rain is cold.
So what if the lightning and thunder kept me up all night long? I’ll sacrifice my slumber for the good of our state.
Award-winning weatherman Jim Spencer keeps us abreast of local changes on his “First Warning Weather,” deciphering the Doppler Weather Radar and making predictions, but (to quote the Aussies), it’s as dry as a dead dingo’s donger.
All of our lakes are hitting record lows. The Lake Travis restaurants like The Oasis and Carlos ‘n’ Charlie’s, so popular for water fun and frolic in the 1990s, now overlook a low-lying lake covered with dune-like islands. When I visited Volente Beach on Lake Travis fourteen years ago, I could see the dry islands popping up even then.
At this point, I don’t know how we’ll ever recoup enough water to get things where they need to be. Our water bills are always in the hundreds each month; that’s par for the course to live in this area. Cattle are dropping dead right and left, reservoirs are drying up. But we won’t give up hope.
Now Elijah said to Ahab, “Go up, eat and drink; for there is the sound of the roar of a heavy shower.” 1 Kings 18:41
As you can see, this ad dates from Christmas 1946, when the term “Coke” was becoming part of popular jargon. The gang says this little towheaded sprite (fun fact: Coca-Cola didn’t introduce Sprite until 1961) looks just like Coke tastes. Delightful? Effervescent? All I know is, I like his hat.
And in case you’re looking for a Coke Date, Miss Clough here is available for appointments.
Guard your cheekbones, sister! The header reads “Little Sisters of the Skull.” I don’t see a skull. And obviously one of these ladies is no little sister. The housemother’s pissy smile is reminiscent of Marlene Dietrich, the later years.
The weak are more likely to make the strong weak than the strong are likely to make the weak strong. — Marlene Dietrich
Actually, her face conveys a more Kanye West sentiment: You should be honored by my lateness. If you’re not familiar with the leggy, gender-bending bisexual and promiscuous Dietrich, then chances are high you also have no idea to what Klute hair refers. No worries! It was an old Hanoi Jane Fonda movie, where she displayed this curious hairstyle. Female sideburns that flip up and constantly poke the eyeball–who wouldn’t want that? Personally, I prefer Barbarella.
Again–I did not pledge, so I cannot fully comprehend Greek life. All I can do is surmise that McBride and the Ride here bought dress shoes in bulk, with good arch support, in order to perform these complex yoga moves. This picture is 43 years old, so I doubt they can work their lumbar region like that these days, but stranger things have happened.
I like how Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, and Mike left enough personal space between groins to still seem tough and masculine. As far as personal preference, I’ll have to say Bertram has the nicest smile (Berri just seems angry or confused), and John Taylor (one of the long-lost Duran Duran Taylor boys) seems to smugly be bringing up the caboose (happy to have no one behind him). All in all, a nice portrait of unity, representing the four stated goals of the fraternity: manhood, scholarship, perseverance, and uplift. Uplift?
Today we’re going to learn about the ostrich, the world’s largest bird. Just because it’s large and flightless, doesn’t mean you should strap a saddle on it and ride it. Case in point.
the link is broken so whatever
Look at me, all Hal Linden today, hosting my own Animals, Animals, Animals episode. Woot! Barney Miller up in here, bringing the facts! Okay, calm down, Kerbey. Too much dark roast.
According to www.onekind.org, ostriches are the fastest runners of any birds or other two-legged animal and can sprint at over 70 km/hr, covering up to 5m in a single stride. I don’t know what that is because I live in America, where a meter is something you put coins in to park your car while you go the chiropractor’s office. Actually, 5m is a little over 16 feet. So, basically Shaq times two, give or take an inch. But anyway, that’s super fast, right? Take that, Kenya!
If you read the writing a the bottom of this postcard, you can see it says “trained ostrich.” Trained? That seems a heady task, considering an ostrich’s brain is smaller than its eye and would hardly fill a teaspoon. Good luck with that.
Per www.southafrica.net, the Roman Emperor Heliogabalus once had the brains of 600 ostriches served up at a feast during his reign 2,000 years ago. Nasty. Although, you know it was free-range and antibiotic free, so props to Heliogabalus. Hey, Dave this sounds like one for The Blog of Funny Names…
Now, listen, around here (since it’s spring), the birds have been chirping up a storm, building nests in my roof and chimney and even the exhaust where our dryer air shoots out. And they are chirping like NOBODY’S BUSINESS, aggressively. Like I could not take a nap to save my life because they are all CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?? Who knew birds were such attention whores? But this is nothing compared to the male ostrich in mating season. He can roar like a lion.
But don’t go near one. If he has red shins, he’s at his most aggressive. Make your own joke up there. And the mating dance is something to behold. This guy starts out with jazzhands/jazzfeathers and then drops down and begins writhing about endlessly.
One swift forward kick can kill a lion. They are Lethal Rockettes, if you will. And in territorial fights between males, they can cause death by slamming their heads into opponents. This is so fight club.
More fun facts from onekind (and their odd British way of spelling) reveal that dinner and dancing precede the brown chicken, brown cow:
Ostriches perform a complex mating ritual consisting of the cock alternating wing beats until he attracts a mate, when they will go to the mating area and he will drive away all intruders. They graze until their behaviour is synchronized, then…the cock will excitedly flap alternate wings again, and start poking on the ground with his bill and violently flap his wings to symbolically clear out a nest in the dirt. Then, while the hen runs circle around him with lowered wings, he will wind his head in a spiral motion. She will drop to the ground and he will mount for copulation.
If mating is successful, then co-parenting is in order:
The eggs are incubated by the dominant female by day and by the male by night, using the colouration of the two sexes to escape detection of the nest, as the drab female blends in with the sand, while the black male is nearly undetectable in the dark.
Pretty smart for a stupid bird. In fact, an ostrich could be far more valuable than you thought. Although its eggs are good eats (I’ve had one!), every adult ostrich has around a kilogram or more of stones in its crop. Sometimes these stones have been found to be diamonds.!! Yeah, huh, it’s true. The aptly-named www.fascinatingearth.com says so:
About a century ago a hunter shot a wild ostrich. In preparing it for the evening meal, he cut open the gizzard and found several pure gem—quality diamonds among the stony contents. He set out early the next morning to hunt diamond—bearing ostriches…Within a week…prospectors killed the defenseless birds by the thousands. Not all the victims contained diamonds, but some were fantastically rich; in one bird’s gizzard 63 diamonds were found.
I Don't Get It 