Coke Date Fashion

Back in 1947, folks weren’t meeting up at Starbucks for $6 coffees. They were meeting at diners for nickel Cokes. Never coined Sprite nor Big Red nor Fanta Dates, this ad hyphenates it as “Coke-Dates.” No gal worth her salt would show up to sip soda in a t-shirt and jeans. Perish the thought! So Joan Miller made this fantubulous dress of men and women, gussied up in hats and suits, drinking Cokes themselves. Add a ruffled collar, and voila! Coke-Date material. Literally.

But it wasn’t just ensembles that needed vetting for dates of Coke. No, siree, Bob. You needed bonafide Coke-worthy shoes as well. And what better to marry that fizz than with leather moccasins, in five gay colors? You could get the traction you needed on asbestos-infused linoleum flooring. After all, you don’t want to spill the very drink for which you came.

The boys were home, Hitler was dead, and all was well on the western front. Time for snazzy frocks and fizzy drinks. Time to celebrate!

Armageddon Has Come, Folks Gather Kindling For Fires, And Pepsi Is STILL NOT OKAY

UT ’79

What dystopian circumstances have arisen that require these students to build a fire inside a library, presumably from the unread pages of old Encyclopedia Brittanicas? What chaos has ensued that they must sit in weakly-constructed patio chairs and grow their sloven bangs out just to retain head heat? Who can say? All we know is Pepsi was still not okay.

Time In A Bottle Or Two

And now, some levity to balance the somber tone from earlier today.

Here, Francine, don’t drop these. If we return them to the drug store, we’ll get one penny per bottle. Barbara, get up off the floor. Pull yourself together. 


Listen, you two, they haven’t invented plastic bottles yet, so we need to recycle every one.

You guys, I really appreciate you inviting me to your Dandruff Awareness Club. Hello, my name is Alice, and I have dry scalp. Cheers!


Donald dear, you know how Enfamil formula has DHA, which supports respiratory health and contributes to the development of a healthy immune system? Well, I don’t care about formula. Coke is it. So there. 


Hey, fellas, I just heard that Coke carbonation irritates the stomach, causing the body to pull calcium from the blood to use as an antacid, which makes the blood replenish its supply from the bones, giving us osteoarthritis. Bummer, right? Oh, who cares? It’s 1947, and our life expectancy is only 64. Bottoms up! Ha ha ha!


Guess what would make this Coke even better?


Right On The Beam

As you can see, this ad dates from Christmas 1946, when the term “Coke” was becoming part of popular jargon. The gang says this little towheaded sprite (fun fact: Coca-Cola didn’t introduce Sprite until 1961) looks just like Coke tastes. Delightful? Effervescent? All I know is, I like his hat.


And in case you’re looking for a Coke Date, Miss Clough here is available for appointments.