Thanksgiving Vest
Category: Humor
Before Immigrants Stole All The Choice Landscaping Jobs
Relax. Those Bay City freshmen never landscaped a day in their lives. During this highly-charged political season, some candidates may claim “illegal immigrants are taking jobs away from U.S. citizens.” But it never looked like this, even in 1970. Who wears a mini-skirt to rake anyway?
Don’t be so defensive, Kanye. It’s a joke, like when you walked up onstage during Beck’s acceptance speech.
Android vs. iPhone 1970
I Want To Be Where The People Are
Petey the harbor seal is sad. He has slithered across shells and seaweed to watch the widow Stella once again fry up eggs for one. Ever since Galen went to be with the Lord, Stella has been very lonely. When she looks out the window, she sees Petey watching her.
So she decides to make a friend. But when she has eaten her breakfast, Petey is long gone. Determined, she ties a kerchief ’round her noggin and gallops into the cold Atlantic Ocean until she retrieves Petey.
“Catch of the day,” she yells into the salty air, and a shiver goes down Petey’s spine.
Stella is so, so lonely. Petey has second thoughts. Stella doesn’t understand personal space.
Petey decides he doesn’t want to be where the people are. He is totally cool being where the sharks are.
But Stella invites him to visit with her and her neighbor Bruce. Doesn’t Petey look happy?
Petey learns that hind flippers are of no use on a cheap throw rug. Still, he is determined. At dawn, he rolls himself onto the original hardwood floor and off the sun porch into the sand. A trio of nuns spots him as he enters the water.
But Petey doesn’t need their blessing now. He is home free. Godspeed, Petey. Godspeed.
Note: All images are from National Geographic. The seal is actually named Shag, and he was adopted by the Horstman family in Longport, New Jersey. Not that that makes it any less weird.
Because Sometimes You Just Want To Hurl Your Mate Over A Waterfall
Mimicry
A Laugh A Minute
1953 Hillcrest Country Club
Comedians Groucho Marx, George Jessel, Milton Berle, Eddie Cantor (air-stabbing his pal), and Buddy Lester met daily for lunch.
It Sounds Foolish Until You’ve Spent All Summer In Triple Digits
Members of a Moscow polar bear club tempt frostbite on their toes while preparing for a dip in icy waters.
While some of you are being inundated with rain this week, central Texas will remain 102 with not a chance of rain–and not a chance of me going outside.
That Moment When Michael Told Billie Jean The Kid Was Not His Son
A box in the attic revealed a hodgepodge of dolls, such as this Thriller Michael, redhaired mermaid, Little House on the Prairie with fabulous hair, and diminutive Mork from Ork.
Somehow I scored a Julie Stiles Barbie doll before she was even born.
They both like woodland creatures.
Even Jon Lovitz Would Take A Pass On These Pretzel Stick Elbows
I bet Henry Grossman thought this a grand image when he snapped it, but Morgan’s bony elbows gross me out. The shaded optical illusion brings to mind prisoners of war, not a sexy blonde bombshell. But maybe it’s not her arms that entice Jon Lovitz…
Signs O’ The Times
Tossing out old newspapers today, I stumbled on to this choice (and timely) comic. In fact, I did toss the 7/14/1984 Dallas Times Herald into the trash, but not before scanning these ads.
And what about a nearly $1200 Beta Recorder? Bet that was only useful for a few years.
Now this just proves boots have always been expensive.
In another I Don’t Get It moment, we have an ad for Sofa Country, hosting wrestler Kerry Von Erich to sign autographs. WTH?
I’d never heard of him, but evidently he was part of the Von Erich family of professional wrestlers. Here he is with you-know-who.
And lest you think cell phones were invented in this millennium, think again.
Save $400?? Can you imagine what the starting price was?
Three Sheets To The Wind
Guests at a wedding party in Holland try to avoid tipping over on the dance floor.
I Don't Get It 