Splish Splash
Category: Art
Bride’s House Revisited
Because Venti Vanilla Latte With Extra Caramel And Whipped Cream Is For Losers
You Can’t Smell Your Own Elbow
Did you just try to smell your own elbow?
Grocer Nan Won’t Step Foot In Polly’s Trippy Kitchen
These fake Latuda smiles are not exactly winning endorsements for the enticingly-named Congoleum product. They look more like they’re remembering an old flame, the one that got away. Who can say? But we CAN safely assume this is a tee-totaling home. A couple whiskeys and this tile does not a good pair make. Every day is a hallucination in Polly’s kitchen! Actually, Prohibition was in effect, so the liquor was probably in the cellar. Americans were sober and their pockets were empty.
Two years later, old floors still posed problems. Fortunately, Muriel found a way to fix it.
Before islands existed, folks tossed a table in the kitchen and called it eat-in dining. I like how the couples are having separate conversations three feet apart. You think Edward and Henry even NOTICED that Muriel changed the tile? Fat chance. Drinking is legal now, and it is SO ON. Edward and Henry have hooch on the brain and hooch only. Meanwhile, Muriel is sitting on the table, assessing her new flooring. I think she’s having second thoughts, now that she sees how it clashes with Nora’s orange striped dress. In fact, I think Muriel is playing the quicksand game and avoiding contact entirely. And why is she dressed for a funeral?
At least her little green squares were preferable to this muddy brown zigzag hot mess. I imagine it disguised dirt well but I’m getting a migraine just looking at it. And such a shame with an otherwise upbeat kitchen!
Did your grandparents have tile like this? Did you make up games to walk on it?
The Pause That Refreshes
Gazing Gal With Floral Bosom And Hair Swept Into Wheel Well
What is this woman staring at??
Yes, We Have Huge Bananas
Banana Burt and Lil pose in snazzy white trousers (who knows? maybe they were yellow…) at the Buzzards Bay, Massachusetts Dairy Queen in 1950. Forget the dilly bar; I’d rather drink a banana. 16 oz for a quarter? Sign me up!
Sad that you can’t spend the day with a huge banana these days? Well, check out this car made in Michigan.
Now you don’t need a BMW or Mercedes to get attention that you lacked in childhood; roll up in this tube of yellow and make others green with envy! And it never goes rotten.
His Heart Is Made Of Knotty Pine
Wooden Indian White Horse sits on the lap of his carver creator, Andy Anderson, wearing a horse-tail wig and entertaining visitors to Tesuque, New Mexico in 1949.
During his work as a cowpoke, Andy wrote, “One day a cowboy rode in from Wyoming, who was the homeliest man I had ever laid eyes on. All the rest of that day I could see him in my mind and thought, ‘What a good character he would make for a wood carving!’ He was my first model, and this was my first attempt at carving a likeness of anyone. The figure of this old weather-beaten cowpoke turned out real good (much to my surprise) and from then on I started carving characters.”
If You Could Read My Mind, Love
Go Cantonese Tonight!
This frozen dinner must have been pretty exotic in ’58, but it looks pretty ew on my end. One wonders how well it held up to the reheating process. And trying to mix the rice with the chicken would inevitably create a mess all over the placemat.
While the word “Oriental” in the ad is now out of favor, “Cantonese” is not offensive, white people. Cantonese people speak Cantonese. And though it shares some vocabulary with Mandarin, the two vary greatly in pronunciation, grammar and lexicon. I know it’s hard to keep up with what is acceptable, but languages are ever-evolving. In fact, “guai lo” in the Cantonese language used to be a derogatory term for any Westerner, but now it has lost its sting. So don’t feel bad if you hear it, guai lo.
Fortunately, Cantonese food actually looks pretty swell in 2016. Here’s a current image.
According to www.chinahighlights.com, Cantonese or Yue cuisine originates from Guangdong Province (SE China around Hong Kong), and it is the most widely served style of Chinese cuisine in the world. This is because most of the Chinese who immigrated and set up restaurants overseas were from Guangdong. What distinguishes Cantonese food is lightly cooked fresh vegetables and meat, and sweet sauces.
I’d try any of these numbers. So let’s stick to fresh Cantonese food, not frozen. And remember to say do jeh (thank you)!
Don Your Kotex For Hobo Hikes
Does this 1954 ad make ANY sense to you? Pretending to be homeless must have been a gas, gas, gas. Sulphur and molasses was actually considered a spring tonic back in the day, though it sounds wretched. Shreds and patches is how Hamlet referred to his uncle, so this has got me vexed. I guess I’m not in the know.
And the rest of it? I suppose that was young peep’s slang. What woman of childbearing age would want to be accused of being a “mope-at-home” or “social sluggard”? Certainly not me! Slap a Kotex on and get to hobo hiking.
I Don't Get It 