If The World Were Flat, Dragons And Monster Fish Would Attack Ships

flatLet me be the first to say I am so grateful that the earth does not look like an overflowing oyster shell, spilling like Niagara Falls into the nothingness. How odd it would be to have clouds below us.

Science-038

 

My Sweet Nearly Embraceable You

Comet54-004What’s up with Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons here? That fourth season doesn’t quite know how to put his arm around a girl. That’s not even first base.

These are my guesses:

  • He’s taking extreme measures not to be perceived as “getting fresh.”
  • Margie recently had lap band surgery and lost half her weight, and old habits die hard, on his part.
  • Margie contracted Hep C by sharing a needle with Tommy Lee, and might be contagious.
  • There is an invisible parrot named Rio on her shoulder.
  • He was the very first tree-hugger, and his arms froze that way.

Do you have the answer? Can you tell me why the leaping Wolfman has one black hand?

 

 

Coffee At Ruby’s

At first, this image of Ruby’s Diner in Schenectady, NY may seem like a study in isolation. The calendar shows September 1988, and while that may not seem like that long ago to some of us, just peek in to this scene to see how the world has changed. RubysDiner88-034Gerd Kittel’s pre-digital camera shows us a man and a woman (presumably both past their physical prime), sharing booths with no one. The woman appears contemplative and dressed for work. The man reminds me of my grandfather: intent on reading the news, colder in his old age and consequently cardigan-clad, and probably smells of Old Spice. No laptops, no iphones, no flat screen TVs. Just take that in–no one is staring at a screen. Like you’re doing right now.

There are Polaroids tacked to the wall. A cigarette machine. God knows the price then, but I passed one only last weekend, a relic itself, and the cost was $10 per pack. And you know smokers will pay it. Formica tabletops. The TV is not a wide screen. It has knobs which to turn. The coffee cup is small. It is not a Starbuck’s grande. That doesn’t mean he won’t consume more than the 16 oz; it just means a waitress will be by shortly to top him off. And that means human interaction. She might bring more cream. She might ask what he is reading.

But first, she will ask the photographer to step out of the way. You can see his reflection to the left of the TV, the man in the Anthony Bourdain sweater.

Places To Go, People To Offend

All of today’s images were scanned from a January 1949 Holiday magazine that I own.
HolidayJan49-023In general, I think people are too quick to be offended and play the victim card and nurse their perceived wounds. However, this ad makes me uncomfortable. Even if the intent is to portray innocent street performance, the bare feet vs. the white jackets has implications.

In the next cartoon, we see Mexicans giving a car wash. As a person who, in the course of driving through town, sees Mexicans giving car washes almost daily, this does not offend me. But I imagine the man taking a siesta might offend some, as it could be perceived as perpetuating a stereotype.

HolidayJan49-025

This next image shows a musician in traditional garb, with a caption revealing that his music airs the local gossip. Is this offensive? I am more concerned with how men look in dresses.

HolidayJan49-031

In an article about Casablanca, an image not unlike a street urchin shows a veiled girl carrying her brother.

HolidayJan49-026 In today’s PC market, I doubt a travel magazine could write “which you won’t care to visit except by sunlight,” but I would actually appreciate that honesty. Isn’t that what Expedia and Trip Advisor sites are for?

They continue with an assessment of the open-air markets.

HolidayJan49-027Not being well-traveled myself, I cannot argue that there is not a maleficent odor. I imagine there is. I’ve seen Andrew Zimmern gut a pig on Bizarre Foods. Not every place is hygienic. Not every land is hospitable. My standard of cleanliness is quite different from some of my friends, who could do well to purchase some Clorox wipes, just like this man. I washed my hands ten times last night, handling raw chicken. So I imagine the stench of festering carcass is quite rank. I would rather know the truth before I hopped a plane across the ocean. What do you think? Are all of these offensive? Or none at all?