Does That Star-Spangled Banner Yet Wave?

Flag019Every adult American remembers where he or she was on 9/11.  What you may not recall is that the following Friday was deemed a day of patriotism, and citizens were encouraged to wear their red, white, and blue to show support for all who had perished in the attacks.  That day, I took my camera and two rolls (yes, rolls) of film and drove around the county, snapping photos of homes that had otherwise never flown flags in their yards, of cars and trucks and humans decorated in American colors, and it made my heart swell to see such pride.

It wasn’t a common enemy that we shared; it was the mutual sense of loss, that life as we knew it was over, and even the young ones who had never experienced a world war or the Cold War knew that the security we had always known was gone forever.  People who didn’t know us wanted to kill us on our own soil, and they didn’t mind losing their own lives in the process.  And we didn’t get it.  Who would serve a “god” that wanted  them to kill strangers?  And why kill innocent civilians instead of soldiers, prepared for war?  Who was the Taliban?  It was sick and evil, and so were the men who perpetrated it.

But on that day, the Walmart, the Tractor Supply–all stores big and small–sported flags. Now if you don’t live in America, you might think they always have flags up.  They don’t. That’s because Americans aren’t allowed to feel pride.  Every nation’s peoples should have the right to feel proud of the land where they were born.  But not us.  We’re supposed to feel guilty for every wrong ever perpetuated in the last two hundred years, nevermind any victory in a world war.  Nevermind that we donate billions in aid to other countries, including ones that despise us.  No, we’re not perfect, but our land is not full of hate, of people who seek to destroy other nations.  This is a land with a history of welcoming immigrants who have been persecuted by their own people.

But on that Friday, we didn’t have to apologize for being born American.  It was even permissible to have faith.

What I don’t get is how brief that period of patriotism lasted, how quickly people reverted to their own lives, how little unity meant.  No, these pictures aren’t World Trade Center passersby, covered in ash, and they aren’t pictures of planes plowing into buildings. They are just a window in time during that one week in a small town, where it was “allowable” to mention God, allowable to love the United States, and every soul felt the tangible sadness of the tragedy, from large home to small.

From barbeque marquis to cardboard signs…

from lamppost to balloon…

from lumber store to hardware store…

and of course, churches.

I spotted this woman in the Walmart parking lot.

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And as the sun set that day, I saw gratitude for all of our veterans, young and old, and Todd Beamer’s immortal words “let’s roll.”

Twelve years later, I still give thanks for freedom and for all our veterans.  It doesn’t matter if it’s Memorial Day or Veteran’s Day or the Fourth of July.  Or just plain old April 13th.  God bless America.

Eerie Homes & Gardens

Growing up, the closest I ever got to a haunted house was watching episodes of Scooby Doo on Saturday morning cartoons.  As a teenager, I visited facsimiles of haunted houses, made purely for Halloween profit.  But insofar as I’ve never seen a ghost, I don’t believe in them, nor haunted house.  But if by chance, they do exist, I imagine they reside in spooky homes like this, with broken windows and dilapidated porches with rusted railings.

all photos from Shorpy
all photos from Shorpy unless labeled otherwise

This old Victorian mansion may appear innocent enough, with a fruit stand out front, and laundry blowing in the breeze.  But you know there are some kidnapping milk carton victims trapped in that upper bedroom.  Don’t you see their fingerprints on the panes?

Franklin Street, Houston, TX  1943
Franklin Street, Houston, TX 1943

You actually can see the child in the lower left portion of this tenement housing, so it’s a given those curtains upstairs are concealing various abducted persons.  The ones out front are just a cover.

Brockton, Mass 1940
Brockton, Mass 1940

This plantation house is creepy even in brightest sunlight.  No doubt the ghosts of former slaves are flying amongst the rotting shingles and crumbling chimneys.  The boy sitting on the stoop is merely an apparition.

St Charles Parish, Abandoned Plantation 1938
St Charles Parish, Abandoned Plantation 1938

This one looks more like a movie set, like the swamp scene in The Rescuers.

Volusia County, Florida 1904
Volusia County, Florida 1904

RescuersBut this one gives me the williest of willies.  It’s not the broken windows nor decaying wood; it’s the fact that it appears to be tucked into a hillside, maybe in the recesses of some mountain community, where subspecies and dialects exist that you and I know nothing of.

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I bet it looked fine in its glory days, but it’s time for the wrecking ball.  Make room for suburbia!

Tranny Shoes: A Likely Story

I did some more investigating about Einstein (to go with today’s earlier post), and discovered this site, ireport.cnn.com/docs, where Ron Rothman explains, “Some of you might be aware of the relationship between the great scientist, Albert Einstein and my grandfather, David Rothman…Some of you are aware of their initial meeting and how Einstein came into the store looking for ‘Sundials,’ in his thick German accent really asking for sandals. My Grandfather mistook his asking for sundials and took him out to the back yard to show him the only sundial he had, his. Upon realizing his mistake, they proceeded to go back to the store where Einstein bought a pair of sandals that my grandfather had on the shelf…

“As Einstein came in asking for the shoes and after the misunderstanding about what he wanted, he was taken into the store to find that the only pair left which would fit was a woman’s size 11. Between the combination of Einstein’s embarrassment about the sundial incident and my Grandfather’s enthusiasm to make a sale to the great scientist, Einstein bought these beach shoes with grace.”

Fine.  Whatever.  But how do you explain him reclining in these (do my eyes deceive me?) stilettos?

www.buzzfeed.com
http://www.buzzfeed.com

And, P.S. Einstein, you do not look remotely like Burt Reynolds did in the Cosmo centerfold.

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Sitting Pretty

Hey, Einstein, why are you wearing ladies’ sandals?  It’s the theory of RELATIVITY, not femininity.

www.retronaut.com
http://www.retronaut.com

And what about Marion Morrison, the butchest guy of all time?  The virtual paragon of manhood?  What is this get-up?  No, I won’t mess with The Duke.  After all, he said, “I don’t have to assert my virility. I think my career has shown that I’m not exactly a pantywaist.”

www.retronaut.com
http://www.retronaut.com

Okay, you two, you can keep your man cards.  But it takes a REAL man to sit patiently through this.

www.retronaut.com
http://www.retronaut.com

I hope he had a steady hand…

To Everything (Turniture! Turniture! Turniture!)

http://www.retronaut.com/
http://www.retronaut.com/

You know you want this.  Toss this into your hatchback, head to the park, and bam–a picnic.  Flip it over and bam–a playpen.  Go back home, lob it on its side, and serve your friends up some Amaretto Sours in style.  Later, after the guests leave, strap your mod boots on and rock and rock and rock.  Now that’s what I call a Good Friday.

Senior Class Favorites

G072And that, my friends, is the difference between men and women.  Adrenaline delights one and strikes fear in the other.  Today’s post documents the Senior Class Favorites of the 1955 Pine Burr, selected “as tops in fun, sparkle, and friendship.”  Most yearbook pictures are taken on location at the high school, but evidently these favorites traveled off site.  Why, Jo Ann and Edward got suited up for a poolside session.  G074Perry and Pat went horse riding through what appears to be a swamp.

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Earl and Shirley were stuck riding pretend horses on a carousel, as though they were still young children.

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Thurston and Lovey Howell enjoyed an afternoon of boating.  Are these people really teenagers?

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Susie and Morris enjoyed a bicycle built for two.

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Barbara and Donald braved gusty winds to sit on the dock of the bay.  Or is that a bridge?  Look, Barbara, I’ll catch that catfish for you and fry it up for dinner with some hush puppies.  Won’t that be swell?  

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Miss Wheat is delighted that Mr. Turner parked next to her namesake.  Or are those plumes of feathered reed grass?  It may be Daddy’s car, but he’s got quite a grip at 10 and 2.

G080Our last picture is the Football Sweetheart.  Wait–isn’t that the same girl (with her name misspelled) wearing a polka dotted cape and sitting on a diving board earlier?  She gets around.  She’s a double favorite!

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My advice to you, Miss Yianitsas–marry one of those football players asap and shed that tragic maiden name.  Preferably Earl Wright.  It’s just one syllable!

1963 Comet, Coming At You

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Today’s daily dose of nostalgia comes to us from the 1962-63 Comet, just before Camelot fell apart.  Join me as we tumble back into a time between the Korean War and Vietnam, where cat’s-eye glasses and buzz cuts were in.  Student government was appropriately silly, but not full-on whackjob like we saw in the 1977 yearbook in Sunday’s post.  Life was a barrel of laughs.

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I realize it’s not the 1950s, but this is very reminiscent of Rydell HIgh.

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My favorite part of this next shot is the gal holding the bottle of hooch.  Pardon me, moonshine.
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And the fun kept coming.  Release your aggression with pinatas!

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The choir fellowships as it prepares for the annual Christmas festival.G041But it’s not all fun and games.  The German Club prepares a care package for needy families during the holidays.  Because who doesn’t love German food?  I’d prefer my care package from the Spanish Club, thank you.  Charro beans instead of refried.

GermanClubpackfoodneedyfamilyXMasSpeaking of Spanish, check out the smug grin on Lolita Ines Alverado’s (sic) face in Spanish class.  Tengo el cabello más hermoso de la clase.

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Lolita’s hair is much foxier than even the homecoming queen’s.  In those loafers, Meiling Lung looks downright dowdy.

G055But by far, the most interesting pictures are of the teachers themselves.

Mrs. Brack cannot be trusted.  That cropped cut betrays her.  I bet she has volumes of beatnik poetry in her drawer.  And Communist connections.  And clove cigarettes.

Sadly, all good things must come to an end.

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Why, in just a few years, some of you boys may be longhaired hippies, smoking the weed and living out of Volkswagen vans.  But if the THC doesn’t lodge too deeply in your brain, try not to forget the wonderful years in high school.  Harriet didn’t.

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When You Care Enough To Send The Very Kitschiest

What’s snazzier than this red retro television set?

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Perhaps this dapper turtle riding down a slide in his OWN shell?  
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If you pull the lever at the bottom right, he really does slide.  See?

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G034And in keeping with the red theme, here’s a keen card for a grandson.
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I don’t know Gramp and Gram from Adam, but I bet they were fine grandparents.  Who wouldn’t feel loved, receiving one of these, assuming kids actually READ them?

Can’t Say You Were A Little Saint

In my stack of vintage greeting cards, I found this cute birthday card manufactured by Gibson.  Perfect for a parent who isn’t a perfectionist…

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G024They don’t make ’em like that any more.

Billy Mack Is A Detective Down In Texas

Pantsless Santa and a student enjoying the March sun at the Union
Pantsless Santa and a student enjoying the March sun at the Union

If you know those lyrics, you should be clapping your hands together right now.  The Steve Miller Band’s “Take the Money and Run” topped the charts in 1976, and that’s our focus year today.  I was flipping through a 1976-77 University of Texas at Austin Cactus, one of many yearbooks in my collection.  What struck me the most was the level of unkemptness.  If that’s not a word, I hereby decree it is now.  Everything looked chaotic, in need of antiseptic wipes, hairbrushes, and ironing boards.  The 1970s just needs a darn good scrubbing.

If you weren’t alive then or were too young to recall, let me offer you this glimpse into what life was like as a student in central Texas during the year before Elvis collapsed on the toilet.

During the bicentennial year of 1976, the presidential elections intensified between Jimmy Carter and Gerald Ford.  On campus, the Absurdist Group drafted an Arts & Sausages platform.  These are not typos.  Pictured is a rally for student government.  

absurdist

This next picture of student government (next to an icon of what appears to be Slash from Guns ‘n’ Roses, which did not exist yet) shows bralessness, early male pattern baldness, and an overzealous male giving the “Hook ‘Em, Horns” sign.

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Here you see a computer from the research department.  Fitting this on your lap at Starbuck’s was cumbersome at best.

computerResearchdept

The Tavern was a great place to socialize and blow off steam, back when the drinking age was 18, which seems CUH-RAZY in retrospect–allowing high school seniors to be hitting the saloons.  But I guess if they were old enough to go die in Vietnam, they should be allowed to knock back a few gin and tonics before shipping out.

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The pic is not askew.  The SEVENTIES were askew.  What is he looking at?  I’d say her chest, but her chest is identical to his.  Maybe he’s taking in the scent of her Ban Roll-On.

The Texas Tavern also offered bowling.  Check out the form on this hunk.

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And no college bar is complete without its “Disco Night,” which showcased the talents of diverse DJ’s.

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But university life wasn’t all fun and games; a shuttle bus drivers’ strike left students stranded at the bus stops.  New “scab” bus drivers feared violent strikers.

G019Below is a portrait of The Crow’s Nest, a group formed in 1949, open to any Navy ROTC Midshipmen with a 2.0 GPA.  The mission was to develop leaders and future Naval officers.  Per the yearbook, “the mascot is any likely sea bird such as the penguin or albatross.”  Was the entire yearbook staff stoned when they edited this?

G007If you really peer into this, you’ll see not only the YMCA being performed, but knives and swords at each other’s necks, a man in aviator glasses, a Greek Fisherman’s cap, and a jogging jacket, a gentleman in a nice blazer and his underwear taking a swig from a bottle, a cowboy taking a hit off a fatty–not to mention Los Tres Amigos at the bottom.  Mercy.

Frat life seems much more tame by comparison.  Note the gender roles being broken down as Wayne prepares a pot of chili for Wendy (whose Farrah Fawcett wings seem to be experiencing an uprising of their own).  How could she resist the charms of such a hairy beast and his blow-dried tresses?

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This next glimpse of campus life has no caption.  With the exposed brassiere, I can only guess that it’s a feminist rally gone awry.  We may never know.

G021And so ends our window into the dirty grime of The Bicentennial.  Happy St. Patrick’s Day!