Better To Handwash Than Handwring
Category: History
When Your ‘Stache Looks Like A Roofer’s Logo
Caption Me
Flat Tops and the Fate of the Free World
Mercy, I could take this post in any direction with this hodgepodge group of adolescents. Instead, I want to use this forum as an opportunity to discuss industrial sites and illegal waste dumping and just get a dialogue going. No, not really. I want to talk about hair. Particular the boy in the Florence Henderson top middle spot there. That is fuh-lat. A flat top, to be precise–not to be confused with a hi-top fade.
This little guy’s would-be bangs are like little frosted gravity-defying daggers. No wonder he has such swagger. He knows he’s got game.
Men from Simon Cowell to Dolph Lundgren would later sport flat top hairstyles, but not to this extent. This stiff cut brings to mind a bed of nails.
In this group, there is an obvious loser (I’m talking to you, Gay), and it’s not because she doesn’t have a flat top. John’s smiles betrays the truth and the shame of locks gone flaccid. But Larry is the boy with the flat top, and consequently–the bright future.
But Larry’s look doesn’t just happen; a cut this tight demands vigilance, constant maintenance, even weekly visits to Floyd’s Barber Shop. Otherwise, he, too, could become like John. And those are their real names.
Ever heard of the Hindenburg? The airship that caught fire? “Oh, the humanity?” Anyway, it was named after Paul von Hindenburg, the German president who was considered the only candidate who could defeat Hitler in 1932, due in part to the power of his flat top.
Hindenburg was in fact re-elected but eventually appointed Hitler Chancellor the following year, at which point, the Nazi Party began its rise to power. If his flat top had been maintained, WWII would never have happened.
And that, my friends, is one to grown on.
Country Girl, Shake It For Me
Hoop Dreams
Nobody could rock a hoop earring like Jody (“Lookin’ For A New Love) Watley. Rumor has it that she hasn’t shrugged since the mid-80s. Many people tried to copy her style. Some went so far as to marry it with a quilted jacket and hat. Oh, no, you di’n’t…
Even modern-day Watley can’t rock a hoop like 1987 Watley. Sometimes you just need to let the style go gently into that good night. These earrings look about as silly as the albino Unibomber behind them.
And as for quilted jackets, these two guys are doing it right–though they don’t appear too thrilled about it.
Maybe they’re upset because they’re using a generic toilet paper, and their bums are all bristly. They should try this:
Operator, Could You Help Me Place This Call?
I used to watch Good Times when I was young, and JJ would always answer the phone, “Cello?” (like the instrument). It reeked of cool, even for a gangly ghetto brother.
Before facetiming and apps and smartphones that could shut your garage door for you, phones were a means of communication by using one’s voice. Certain phone images from pop culture take us back to moments in our lives.
How could we forget the iconic scene in It’s A Wonderful Life? I can feel the sexual tension from here.
This one still gives me the creeps. “We’ve traced the call, and it’s coming from inside the house.”
Dum dum dum!!
Surely you remember this scene in 1985’s Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure when Pee Wee tells the bikers, “Shhh! I’m trying to use the phone!”
Even E.T. tried to get in on the action. But he never did phone home.
But the celeb with by far the most phone pics is the one and only Norma Jean Baker. She favored cross-your-heart phones, endorsed by her pal Jane Russell.
Apparently, she tagteamed quite often.
Although at home, she needed the casual ease of one hand free to express herself.
Keeping private conversations confidential…
In her earlier years, she posed with phones for cheesecake shots. I bet there wasn’t even anyone on the line…
Then she got the call from JFK: it was over.
And she took it well.
I Told You I Just Wanted A Trim!
Sophie is actually just leading a mime workshop. I know, right? Mime. I guess when you’re deep into the craft of mime, you don’t have time for styling long locks. A mime’s best friend is a wash ‘n’ go hairstyle–after a black leotard and white face paint, of course. Let me just say that I’m not too keen on whiteface, any more than I am about blackface, or a combination thereof.
By the way, did you know that mime did not die out with Marcel Marceau? They have mime schools (yes, plural) in Paris, France. Another reason for me not to go to France.
Oh, yeah, that’s not creepy at all.
Holy crap, he makes freaky clowns look like Care Bears.
I’d rather wake up to a man in Gene Simmons’ Kiss make-up than any of this crazy smeared mess. Do you know how traumatizing it is to an elementary age child to have to watch Shields and Yarnell (RIP Yarnell) dressed as Sonny and Cher on TV, doing what would later be called “the robot” by breakdancers?
They even disgraced the cover of my beloved Dynamite.
I wonder if they made out like that when they got home? All stiff like the tin man, with a laugh track playing in the background to help their self-esteem. You’ll have to youtube them yourself; I’m not poisoning my blog with any more memories of mimery.
Yeah, I’m Pretty Sure That’s Letterman
Flapper Chic
The quality of this photograph and the confidence of style at this 1920 Howard University Football Game begs the question: Could this really be 96 years ago??
I Could’ve Danced All Night
Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs
And right back at you:
I Don't Get It 