Mercy, I could take this post in any direction with this hodgepodge group of adolescents. Instead, I want to use this forum as an opportunity to discuss industrial sites and illegal waste dumping and just get a dialogue going. No, not really. I want to talk about hair. Particular the boy in the Florence Henderson top middle spot there. That is fuh-lat. A flat top, to be precise–not to be confused with a hi-top fade.
This little guy’s would-be bangs are like little frosted gravity-defying daggers. No wonder he has such swagger. He knows he’s got game.
Men from Simon Cowell to Dolph Lundgren would later sport flat top hairstyles, but not to this extent. This stiff cut brings to mind a bed of nails.
In this group, there is an obvious loser (I’m talking to you, Gay), and it’s not because she doesn’t have a flat top. John’s smiles betrays the truth and the shame of locks gone flaccid. But Larry is the boy with the flat top, and consequently–the bright future.
But Larry’s look doesn’t just happen; a cut this tight demands vigilance, constant maintenance, even weekly visits to Floyd’s Barber Shop. Otherwise, he, too, could become like John. And those are their real names.
Ever heard of the Hindenburg? The airship that caught fire? “Oh, the humanity?” Anyway, it was named after Paul von Hindenburg, the German president who was considered the only candidate who could defeat Hitler in 1932, due in part to the power of his flat top.
Hindenburg was in fact re-elected but eventually appointed Hitler Chancellor the following year, at which point, the Nazi Party began its rise to power. If his flat top had been maintained, WWII would never have happened.
And that, my friends, is one to grown on.