Leave A Tender Moment Alone
Category: 1970s
Happy Birthday To Chuck Berry
Yeah, no.
“Yeah, no” is one of comedian Gary Gulman’s least favorite phrases, but it does fit here. While it is in fact Chuck Berry’s birthday, this is not a birthday cake as it appears at first glance. It’s actually Alpha Phi Alpha frat brothers Calvin, Glenn, and Jimmy examining blood samples collected by this bespectacled lady, performing Sickle Cell Anemia screenings.
Not quite the occasion to celebrate, unless your test results were negative.
And as for Chuck Berry, besotted by sex offender crimes and other legal troubles, the man DID have strong quadriceps.
The Cure’s Robert Smith Leaves Stage To Arrest Disorderly Confederate Soldiers
At least that’s what it looked like to me.
But upon further inspection, it’s not Smith; it’s a UT campus policeman, arresting one of the Kappa Alphas during their traditional (and illegal) “confederate swim” in Littlefield Fountain. Bet that wouldn’t fly nowadays on any side of the aisle.
Halloween 1978
The original Halloween was released 40 years ago, in 1978.
It still creeps me out. That mask is terrifying.
But the students at the University of Texas in 1978 were fairly tame by comparison. I’m not even sure what the woman on the left is. A younger girl?
These were “50s be-boppers.”
The large Groucho nose was a big deal in the late 70s. Why did everyone have Raggedy Ann cheeks?
Now this is more like it.
I still can’t figure out what was the deal with clowns. At least there’s a vampire here, although his head looks more like Han Solo. 
The saucy wench looks like she’s having the most fun–and it isn’t even dark yet!
The Power Of Velour
A friend’s Facebook post today of his infant self, garbed in velour, got me thinking about my days of velour, which, incidentally would be a great autobiography title. I stumbled across this 1979 Sears catalog image, and was reminded of a velour green dress I donned at Christmas that year (with a white satin blouse underneath-trust me, ’twas all the rage), in the final vestiges of the unseemly 70s. Or was it velvet or velveteen? Who can discern the magic of textiles?
Listen, I could collage up this joint and post all kinds of velour images across this page, but honestly, it’s overkill. I think we get the gist of velour off of just this one plush-fabric pic. It’s a lipglossy, pre-Working Girl meets Studio 54 (I almost said Area 51; Freudian slip) era, with the skinny belt, skirt slit, and stilettos, to boot. I can’t tell if they’re 13 or 43. But look at Miss Purple’s jutted elbow. She is NOT having sassy backtalk today. You flip through that Rolodex, girl. Fierce.
Now should we bring velour back? Heavens, no. When I see it in the wild nowadays (once just this year at church), I shake my head. The moment is over. It only whispers “Goodwill reject bin” from the fibers of its sheen. And we all know the only relevant sheen in 2018 is a Netflix Martin.
But can we take two minutes to appreciate it today? Even just saying the word is fun. Velour. Make it rhyme with sewer. Is it flattering? Heavens, no. It makes pre-teens look four months pregnant. Does it keep you warm? Yes. Did it take these girls from playgrounds to champagne? Or is the lyric “from crayons to perfume”? Whatever. Velour does that. That’s the power of velour.
Not Quite Muskrat Love
This happy family is full of love, but they aren’t muskrats. These are.
Chubby little things, aren’t they?
“Muskrat Love” was a love song from the bicentennial year, which peaked at #4 with the Captain & Tennille’s version. No, it doesn’t make any sense.
You can see below how the silliness seeped forth. Note Tennille’s pageboy bob, popular at the time.
While the song does not deserve a listen, the video is worth it, if not for Toni’s beautiful smile and rich voice–and Daryl’s absolutely wretched keyboard noises. Ultimately, love did not keep them together, and Daryl is no longer doing that to her one more time, but such is life. No?
How Low Can You Go?
relaxing on beach towels
sitting in itchy grass
low to the asphalt
I can be certain that the last picture was taken in Austin, as evidenced by the highway signs. Looks to be the dirty, gritty 70s.
Giddy, Content, & Miffed
Independence Dames
This image is another score from the Antiques Mall last weekend. All it said was “Galveston,” so that doesn’t give me much information. The clothes looks 70s, so I’ll hazard a guess of 1974, based on the eyeglasses. Of course, one can’t fully enjoy all 22 ladies unless you can zoom in.
Right off, I can see that three ladies have their eye closed, and the one at the table seems to be silently saying, “This, too, shall pass.” The three right rear clearly purchased their specs at Lens Crafters on discount (and probably busk doing Andrews Sisters covers at dusk).
And how about the shade the left rear is throwing to her friends? Like Barney Fife, she wants to nip it in the bud. The lady with flowers on her collarbone looks like the Virgin Mary, resigned to sadness. Not my will, but Yours be done. And how about Peach Suit, warmly putting her hand on her friend’s shoulder? I think she’s gauging the pin curls of her perm. Come to think of it, if it WERE the 4th of July, wouldn’t they all be wearing red, white, and blue?
She’s My Pride And Joy
Mr. Barry Howard of Cumberland, Kentucky may be smiling as his hand pats the hood of a new truck, but his wife’s pursed lips reveal more to the story. The truck was bought with funds received from his black lung payments, compensating for the shortness of breath caused by coal dust particles in his lungs.
How To Party Like It’s 1970
Once you’ve worked up a sweat, go grab yourself a glass of cold refreshments from an ancient chaperone.
Dance to the groovy tunes of a guy wearing a headband.
And if possible, be crowned something that proves you’re better than everyone else.
See the envy in their eyes as you rock that crown. Dang, it feels good to be a gangster.
I Don't Get It 