When You Give Up Booze For Lent But Then Your High School Sweetheart Comes To Town And You Hope God Can Forgive You
Tag: Alcohol
Brooklyn Gutter Wine
I don’t know what’s more disturbing; that federal agents dumped barrels of wine into the gutter, or that neighborhood kids are frantically trying to salvage it. I’ve never been a believer in the five-second rule. Once an item makes contact with filth, it is instantly defiled. And no amount of assuring me that “alcohol kills the germs” would convince me. But that’s 1926 for you.
In the next image, federal agents are actively pouring whiskey down a sewer, per the 18th Amendment, passed 99 years ago, come Wednesday. Such a waste.
Legally Drunk
It’s weird to see 1977 university staff images with EVERYONE drinking, since you could never do that now. Most students can’t drink until they’re juniors nowadays. But back when the drinking age was 18, nearly every student on campus was free to imbibe.
Until 1981 Texas had a minimum drinking age of 18. And you bet your bippy those 18-year-olds took advantage.
But it wasn’t just pints of beer. Spiked punch made the rounds at deans’ meetings. And the dean seems pleased.
These Delta Kappa Epsilons decided they needed an entire wine cellar for the night.
Such young revelry led to poor decisions regarding hairstyles.
And poor decisions regarding fashion.
They were ugly sweater before ugly sweater was a thing.
And sometimes folks just got too greedy.
Puppies Before Liquor, Never Sicker
‘Tis an odd image indeed, of young women in the 1890s, taking part at “a drinking bee” in White Chapel, Dawson, Alaska–a base during the 19th-century Klondike Gold Rush. I can’t say that I understand the canine/wine connection, but I’m certain that it was before this label existed.
Or this one.
But evidently, some dogs do like their ale.
Never Ever Pour Your Beer This Way
Unless you like a frothy mouthful of head, do not pour your bottle into your glass this way. I watched a patron at a pizza parlor pour his pitcher (that’s a lot of p’s!) into his pint sans tilt, and he wound up with a pint o’ foam. Nasty. And he was well into his middle years, so he should have known better.
You Really Need To Get Your Schlitztogether
And the award for best illustration of ale with squirrels, accordions, and ascots goes to…
Schlitz! Y’all, this ad did its job. It actually makes me wants Schlitz, despite the fact that I would never order a 4.6% ABV beer because that’s just wasting my time. My mouth tells me to rebuke the “Schlitzness” but my eyes say “Carry on, my wayward daughter.”
Seriously, tell me, doesn’t this look like more fun than a barrel of monkeys?
Mabel, If You’re Able, Black Label On The Table
Note the M on Mabel’s daisy dress, a precursor to Laverne’s sweater L.
Though no longer widely distributed in the U.S., Black Label remains the official beer of Beer Frisbee, aka Beersbie–because that’s a thing.
In South Africa, they went in another direction, a decidedly non-Mabel direction. MANLY.
Doesn’t it look HEAVY? That must be the 22 oz mug.
And in Australia, it was even weirder.
Caution: Coors-Powered
Looks Like I Picked The Wrong Week To Stop Drinking
Daily ExpressArchive Photos Getty Images
Where My Middle-Aged Drinkers At?
Oh, there they are–in full force, ready for game day, celebrating the ol’ alma mater.
In 1979, the legal drinking age in Texas was 18, having been lowered from 21 in 1973 due to anti-war protesters, which meant every single student at the University of Texas could freely partake of ale. And some started honing their hoarding tendencies early. “Two. Cans. For Ev. Ery. Girrrrrrl…”
The blonde in the sheepskin coat has Mackenzie Phillips’s mouth. I’m just saying.
Did you ever watch her on One Day At A Time? She was the bad daughter of the divorced mom, and Valerie Bertinelli was the good one. Valerie looks AMAZING now as the judge on Food Network’s Kid’s Baking Championship. She’s so kind and encouraging. I want to hang out with her. What are we talking about again?
Aha! Drinking in 1979! And what do you suppose happened here?
Methinks a visored lady (named Virginia?) suddenly appeared on the back of his motorcycle, offering a koozie-chilled beer to the driver. Yes, Virginia, he’s flummoxed.
It’s probably for the best that it’s age 21 now. By the way, 21 is the highest minimum drinking age that exists. Here’s the MDA worldwide.
I didn’t realize 16 countries banned drinking altogether: Afghanistan, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Brunei Darussalam, Iran, Kuwait, Libya, Maldives, Mauritania, Pakistan, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Somalia, Sudan, United Arab Emirates, and Yemen. I had no idea! Have you ever visited a country with no drinking age (like Bolivia or China) or a complete restriction?
Class of 1910 Prefers Bourbon With No Rough Edges
Beer Always Belongs
I Don't Get It 