Category: Style

Scenes From A 1950 Duffle Bag, Part Cinco (And Scene)

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“And that is where the Commies live. This is why we do ‘duck and cover’ air raid drills each week. I hope one day our countries can become friends, and they might even host an Olympics.”

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This was me at the DMV yesterday. Actually, I couldn’t get inside the first office, as it was so packed that I couldn’t Red-Rover myself in through the actual door, so I had to drive 35 miles to another town and have it done there. Oh, happy day.

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You know how I always say each portrait has “the guy”? The one all in white with his hip thrust forward is trying to be the guy, but he can’t compete with Cowboy Bill there, and his sassy hip askew. That’s the guy.

And by all rights, that is the girl. So much better than common tennis whites. Way to work that vest.

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Yes, the one on the left.

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“And then she admitted it was her in the back of the Pontiac, but she said they didn’t do anything, and I was all as if. Everyone knows Peg is a hussy.”

Well, folks, it’s time to close up the Duffle Bag. Happy Trails!

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Alternate Ways To Pledge Allegiance

Duffle046You’re supposed to put your right hand OVER your heart, not cop a feel of your breast. At least that was how we were taught. I think she just got to second base with herself. Or maybe she’s doing a routine exam for lumps. Save it for the bus ride, missy.

But I like her foot placement; she’s selling it. And check out the doll on the far left. She can’t quite summon up the words. And to the republic, for which it stands… Honestly, I don’t know why we ever phased out long plaid dresses with loafers and bobby socks. It’s a classic, modest look. The anti-Miley.

Apparently, Miles doesn’t know the correct way to pledge, either.

http://www.highsnobiety.com/
http://www.highsnobiety.com/

Deadringers

Corpus Christi High School’s class of 1950 has some real gems to share with you today.

That HAS to be Andy Samberg’s granddad. No two ways around it.

This greaser reminded me of the bad guy in Grease, Crater Face.

And this cutie patootie reminded me of Maxwell Caulfield’s character in Grease II. Do you see it, too?

In most cultures, symmetry is beauty. But these two gentleman prove that your hair can be an asymmetrical entity, and you can still be smooth. It’s like chunks are missing from their heads.

Have you ever seen an old man’s toupee caught in the wind? This is like that except it’s swirly like tidal waves. But also like frosting on a cupcake. I could get lost in it. Look at him, all cocky. How YOU doin’?

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I just feel like you need to see this. Tweezing is in order.

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Ahem.

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What happens when Walt Disney mates with Salvador Dali?

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This guy. I like him already.

Duffle023And check this out! The Kewpie doll is all grown up.

Did You Happen To See The Most Beautiful Girl In The World?

Coyote23132Mary looks like she just tossed back the requisite two teaspoons of Listerine and is just holding it in her mouth during the photo shoot, warming it with her saliva, waiting to spit it out.

Eye of the Beholder

I like how this yearbook just cuts to the chase: Pretty Girls. So there. It’s not open for discussion. And Sugie Smulcher signed her name for emphasis. Say that aloud. Sugie Smulcher. Rolls right off the tongue.

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Other yearbooks try to be creative with their beauty queen section, like this classy illustration preceding the portraits.

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Some editors refer to them as queens.

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1952 Coyote

Others refer to them as “sweethearts.”

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1957 Hornet

I doubt this girl’s destiny included being a farmer’s wife, but she took the title of FFA (Future Farmers of America) sweetheart.  If she’s not a vision in lace, I don’t know what is.

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“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.”–Albert Einstein

Now that’s science!