High School – Page 12 – I Don't Get It

Pep In Your Step

Sis Boom Bah, Rah Rah Rah!

From the 50s to the 60s…

…to the 70s, cheerleading never goes out of style.

Even when the outfits are disastrous.

We’re all familiar with the common “lean-back and flash your invisible oven mitt/handgun/wine glass” cheer, aren’t we?

Well, there must be something to it, because many schools employed this tactic, as if to tell the opposing team to “hit the road, Jack.” My lumbar hurts just looking at it.

But being flexible is the name of the game. Mix with exuberance and stir.

Of course, you can’t forget your pom-poms.

Even novices can promote school spirit! This girl appears to be conducting the band with a baton at a pep rally.

And don’t forget that when cheerleading was popularized over 100 years ago, it was a boys-only sport. That explains why Steve Martin, Samuel Jackson, and several presidents cheered for their schools.

Can you imagine if men had to wear those tiny Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders outfits?

Git-R-Done, Larry.

A Dar And A D’Oh

“Okay, you guys, I’m gonna take the picture at the count of three. One. Two. Three…Inez, what the hell?”

Let’s speculate on things Inez could be doing:

Sneezing (but she looks too calm)
Running the scales (save that for choir)
That thing you’ve been thinking since you first saw it
Mimicking the mating call of the sea lion
Calling Kanye West out on the fact that he said he was leaving the country and, Damn Smokey, he’s still here.
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Scenes From A 1950 Duffle Bag, Part Cinco (And Scene)

“And that is where the Commies live. This is why we do ‘duck and cover’ air raid drills each week. I hope one day our countries can become friends, and they might even host an Olympics.”

This was me at the DMV yesterday. Actually, I couldn’t get inside the first office, as it was so packed that I couldn’t Red-Rover myself in through the actual door, so I had to drive 35 miles to another town and have it done there. Oh, happy day.

You know how I always say each portrait has “the guy”? The one all in white with his hip thrust forward is trying to be the guy, but he can’t compete with Cowboy Bill there, and his sassy hip askew. That’s the guy.

And by all rights, that is the girl. So much better than common tennis whites. Way to work that vest.

Yes, the one on the left.

“And then she admitted it was her in the back of the Pontiac, but she said they didn’t do anything, and I was all as if. Everyone knows Peg is a hussy.”

Well, folks, it’s time to close up the Duffle Bag. Happy Trails!

Alternate Ways To Pledge Allegiance

You’re supposed to put your right hand OVER your heart, not cop a feel of your breast. At least that was how we were taught. I think she just got to second base with herself. Or maybe she’s doing a routine exam for lumps. Save it for the bus ride, missy.

But I like her foot placement; she’s selling it. And check out the doll on the far left. She can’t quite summon up the words. And to the republic, for which it stands… Honestly, I don’t know why we ever phased out long plaid dresses with loafers and bobby socks. It’s a classic, modest look. The anti-Miley.

Apparently, Miles doesn’t know the correct way to pledge, either.

Flying In Formation

Scenes From A 1950 Duffle Bag, Part Cuatro

Scenes From a 1950 Duffle Bag, Part Tres

When I Whistle At My Dog

Deadringers

Corpus Christi High School’s class of 1950 has some real gems to share with you today.

That HAS to be Andy Samberg’s granddad. No two ways around it.

This greaser reminded me of the bad guy in Grease, Crater Face.

And this cutie patootie reminded me of Maxwell Caulfield’s character in Grease II. Do you see it, too?

In most cultures, symmetry is beauty. But these two gentleman prove that your hair can be an asymmetrical entity, and you can still be smooth. It’s like chunks are missing from their heads.

Have you ever seen an old man’s toupee caught in the wind? This is like that except it’s swirly like tidal waves. But also like frosting on a cupcake. I could get lost in it. Look at him, all cocky. How YOU doin’?