Funny – Page 43 – I Don't Get It

That First Hour After LASIK Surgery

Who Needs Another Round Of Bud And Fritos?

This girl. When it comes to ale and corn chips, she means business.

What Wearing Two Belts Feels Like

One word: exhilarating.

photo by Danny Lehman, "Then and Now" — photo by Danny Lehman, “Then and Now”

Perhaps I should have titled this Splendor in the Marigolds. I don’t think I’ve felt that level of pure bliss since the 1900s, if ever. Perhaps it’s the Nick Cannon tilt of his hat that’s got him smiling so.

NickCannon

Clearly they both like hats and grey vests.

Actually, the joyful prostrate man is a harvester in Bajio, Mexico in 1990, presumably done with a day’s marigold harvesting. As pretty as they look, the marigolds were solely used in chicken feed.

It’s true. Per www.fresheggsdaily.com, marigolds, as well as other plants that contain the pigment xanthophyll, are routinely added to commercial layer feed to artificially boost the color of egg yolks of the chickens eating the feed…According to a report from PoultryDVM, the entire Mexican marigold plant has been used to treat respiratory illnesses and eye issues- and feeding up to 3 grams of the dried petals to the chickens resulted in improved egg yolk color.

Now don’t go and discount egg yolk color. Do you think Neil Armstrong could have gotten to the moon if he hadn’t eaten bright yellow egg yolks for his last meal on Earth?

Actually, that’s fried chicken and peaches. The Reddit image showed Armstrong having his “customary late dinner” in March of 1969, according to the caption of the TIME/Life photo. It was stated to be his last meal before the Apollo 11 mission. But it wasn’t his last meal before taking one small step for mankind.

It was steak and eggs–and he ate the meal (mid-left) with the rest of the crew members of the moon mission, not alone with a newspaper.

Oops! I appear to have gone off on a long rabbit trail. Sorry, readers!

Plug-Ugly Pugs

I had no idea folks used the term “plug-ugly” back in days of yore. I would have loved to hear my grandparents tell me someone’s hair was plug-ugly. But there’s a good chance they’d heard it:

Per http://www.phrases.org.uk,

The Plug Uglies were a street gang operating out of Baltimore, Maryland in the 1850s…Gangs called the Rip Raps, the Know Nothings and the Plug Uglies fought pitched battles in the streets and these events were widely reported at the time…’Plug-ugly’ is an expression mostly found in the USA. In other parts of the English-speaking world you are just as likely to hear ‘pug-ugly’, which has the same meaning.

pug-tongue-park

Not only are pugs hard on the eyes, they reign as the Chevy Nova of the canine world.

No matter how you slice it, pugs are defective. And plug-ugly.

pugspace

Well, maybe not this one.

Starter Bartering

Barefoot Mexcaltitán pre-schoolers practice the art of the bargain as Luz Maria gets aggressive toward Green Dress, whose lowball offer for their fruit has insulted the entire Ruvalcaba family. Twin sister Martha Estella bears a bowl of coquitos de aceite on her head, patiently enduring the exchange and the heated voice of the alpha twin.

Before They Were Feeble And A Hip Replacement Exceeded An Annual Salary

For patients without health insurance, a total hip replacement usually will cost between $31,839 and $44,816, with an average cost of $39,299, according to Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Carolina. (http://health.costhelper.com/).

horsehip

What A Day For A Sack Race

Ruby, Elsie, and Alison show their competitive skills in Wandin (a suburb of Melbourne) in 1957, representing for the Collingwood branch of the (before political correctness took the accuracy out of terms) Old Age and Invalid Pensioners’ Association. Way to stay active!