Travel – Page 16 – I Don't Get It

Made In USA vs. Made In France

Today we study another page of our favorite condescending Parisian magazine, Réalités. Just saying it makes me feel pretentious. Réalités. Zee reality of ziss Frenchman sans shirt makes me gag. But nice Studebaker!

I like how they advertise that the Dyna Panhard (incidentally, the name of an exotic dancer at Austin’s Yellow Rose, a strip club which serves free steak/shrimp buffet on Fridays–that’s today!) will drive 80 mph and then show an image of it in a park. Do Parisians drive cars on ~~sidewalks~~ promenades? I am not familiar with these customs. That’s even more arrogant than American cyclists riding 25 mph in lanes made for cars driving 65 mph.

And how would you fit six passengers in that? Is it Sunday morning coming down for Simone? Is she lost, doing the drive of shame back to her appartement? Even in a car the size of a Ford Festiva, driving off-road with children and prams nearby seems unsafe. She could go barreling out of control and hurtle toward the pond. Girl, please! Oh, look–that’s what her license plate says. 1954, please!

Jazz Hands On A Bus: Always Better Than Snakes On A Plane

Places To Go, People To Offend

All of today’s images were scanned from a January 1949 Holiday magazine that I own.
In general, I think people are too quick to be offended and play the victim card and nurse their perceived wounds. However, this ad makes me uncomfortable. Even if the intent is to portray innocent street performance, the bare feet vs. the white jackets has implications.

In the next cartoon, we see Mexicans giving a car wash. As a person who, in the course of driving through town, sees Mexicans giving car washes almost daily, this does not offend me. But I imagine the man taking a siesta might offend some, as it could be perceived as perpetuating a stereotype.

This next image shows a musician in traditional garb, with a caption revealing that his music airs the local gossip. Is this offensive? I am more concerned with how men look in dresses.

In an article about Casablanca, an image not unlike a street urchin shows a veiled girl carrying her brother.

In today’s PC market, I doubt a travel magazine could write “which you won’t care to visit except by sunlight,” but I would actually appreciate that honesty. Isn’t that what Expedia and Trip Advisor sites are for?

They continue with an assessment of the open-air markets.

Not being well-traveled myself, I cannot argue that there is not a maleficent odor. I imagine there is. I’ve seen Andrew Zimmern gut a pig on Bizarre Foods. Not every place is hygienic. Not every land is hospitable. My standard of cleanliness is quite different from some of my friends, who could do well to purchase some Clorox wipes, just like this man. I washed my hands ten times last night, handling raw chicken. So I imagine the stench of festering carcass is quite rank. I would rather know the truth before I hopped a plane across the ocean. What do you think? Are all of these offensive? Or none at all?

Places To Go, People To See, Part IV

Today we turn the clock back to June 1952.

When traveling overseas, remember to take your finest suit for maximum comfort and ease as you read the precious books by people from colorful lands.

If $675 sounds a little steep, Americans can simply stay stateside and enjoy lobster at Hugo’s on Cohasset Harbor in Massachusetts. Just remember which fork serves what purpose or Martha Stewart will go all nun on you with a knuckle-rap.

While you’re in the neighborhood, stop by the Scituate Harbor Yacht Club and chat about your summer homes on the Vineyard.

Pysch! It’s members only. You may be upper middle class, but you don’t have a yacht and you don’t belong here. One-fork people like you might enjoy a nice rental sailboat in Michigan. Yeah, that’s more your style.

What? Still can’t swing it? This is the Fabulous Fifties! Well, hold on to your hat; I’ve got just the ticket!

Take the Super-Doughnut ring (you people like doughnuts, right?) to your neighborhood pool and bask until you blister in the sun. Don’t forget to put crimson lipstick on and bring a spare patch in case you spring a leak.

Still not your speed? Take a cue from these kiddos and forget the travel! Who says you can’t have fun in your own back yard?

Cruising With The Kuklapolitan Players

The ad says this gay cruise has gentle trade winds, but I imagine there was more rough trade than gentle.

Places To Go, People To See, Part III

Look, honey, there on the horizon–rich folk!

Not in the mood for a skin-damaging tan and a romp in the sun? Try exciting Canada!

“Treasures! Uncrowded!” Uncrowded? Is that the best selling point? I suggest:

Canada–get your prescriptions here!

You Americans can’t travel that far north? How about tropical Wisconsin? The sun literally bleached the brown out of her hair, and it will bleach the germs off you, including pesky ebola. If that’s not enough incentive, you can enjoy moderately-priced food!

Well, that’s enough travel for me. Dick and Jane bottle-feeding a fawn is cuteness overload. A full-page ad for Wisconsin and they didn’t even use the word “cheese”!

Places To Go, People To See, Part II

I thought Arizona was a desert, but I hear it’s flooding right now.

When I think of Arizona, I don’t think of lush, verdant fields and crops, much less apple trees. But that’s only because they never showed that on episodes of Alice, set in Phoenix in the 1970s.

This, however, is just as I imagine New Mexico would be, assuming both the feather-spangled Indian/Native American and conquistador are ethereal ghosts of the pasts.