Category: Art

Audience Of One

Kentile ad 1956
Kentile ad 1956

There’s no denying the eye-catching power of these mod Kentiles, in “gaeity” and “fleecy cerulean” with a white feature strip. See how well they compliment the gold-plated television and backgammon room dividers? What I don’t get is why Peg is alone with her wine and sensible flats and salty carbs, while Pam is relegated to the dog pillow and Frank is nearly shoved behind the divider. Are his skills that lacking? Does he have halitosis? Is he playing that new release, “Be Bop A Lula,” into the ground? Whatever it is, my bet is that wine bottle will be drained by the second chorus.

 

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Dad’s Lofty Pipe Dream

LIFE 4-9-56
LIFE 4-9-56

Another perfect ad for I Don’t Get It.  Where is Dad looking? Why is his family made into a pyramid? Isn’t Mom unstable? Who needs that much fuchsia fabric?

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Those Extra Holiday Pounds

LIFE 4-9-1956
LIFE 4-9-1956

Mom and the kids are throwing shade at Daddy again. And who could blame them? Dad must be up to 150 lbs at this point. I’d give my right pinky finger to hit that number.

Fact is, before there was a “Mony, Mony” song by Tommy James and the Shondells (if you’re a Boomer) or Billy Idol (if you’re Gen X), MONY meant Mutual of New York.

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Myself, I’d never heard of such a thing. The only mutual I know is Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom, starring Marlin Perkins.

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Christmas Is Closer Than You Think

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This GE clock radio is pretty dope, and it would look nice on my night stand. The ad says the radio turns your coffee maker and television on. Did they really have that technology in 1951? In any case, I already have a clock radio, and it’s entirely useless. It doesn’t matter if I fall asleep at 11pm or 3am (both of those scenarios happen weekly, btw) because I’m up with the sun or before the rooster crows. My body won’t let me sleep in. Even on the Sundays that I have to be up by 7am to go sing at church, I’m always up before then. But I set it just in case. In fact, I haven’t actually heard the alarm go off in years because I’ve risen and shut it off before it ever meets its hour. And when I arrive to church at 8am, and others are yet tardy half an hour later, they always say their “phones didn’t go off.” Well, perhaps they need to buy a clock radio. One with a plug. Then it will never need charging.